Keeping up with the Resolutions
Devika Khanna
I help people achieve personal growth using counselling and coaching. Counselling Psychologist | EAP Service Provider
It is that time of the year again and we are all set with our list of new year’s resolution….
Its been 18 days since this year has begun. I want to ask you how are your new year’s resolutions going? Like every year, this year too, all of us have set some goals and some expectations that we wish to achieve before this year ends. I too have set some resolutions or goals which I want to achieve (or at least try to achieve) before this year ends.
Every year we wear our optimistic caps and list down things that will help us become better people. Our lists often include following a diet, losing weight, getting rid of procrastination, getting up early, and so on. This list is never-ending. But as the days pass, we often find ourselves drifting away from this list; we find it more and more difficult to stick to our resolutions.
Researchers have looked at success rates of peoples’ resolutions: The first two weeks usually go along beautifully, but by February people are backsliding. And by the following December, most people are back where they started—often even further behind. According to U.S. News & World Report, 80 % of New Year’s resolutions fail by February.
Think about it! For how long were you able to stick to your list of resolutions? In my case, it was 11 days and I then was back to square one!
Have you ever thought about why is it difficult to keep up with new year’s resolutions?
Our resolutions are ambiguous
Our resolutions are often not clearly defined. Some of the common resolutions include losing weight, changing lifestyle, dealing with procrastination, becoming more productive. These goals are not explicit. What does losing weight mean? Or what does changing lifestyle include? These goals are not specific, measurable, and realistic. There is also no clear plan of action.
Instead of using statements like “losing weight” or “waking up early”, if we use statements like “losing 10 kgs till 31 March 2021” or “waking up at 8 AM.” These actions and goals are clearly defined and are easier to follow. Having a well-defined plan of action makes it easier to achieve the goal. It also helps us keep a track of our goals.
Resolutions involve changing behavior
Resolutions involve behavior modification, that is, changing your behavior. Changing your behavior also requires you to change your thinking pattern, values, and belief systems.
Let's understand this through an example. You want to lose weight in 2021. For losing weight, you need to change your diet and include workouts in your routine. Behavioral change that is required in this case is improving your diet, eating nutritious food, and working out. Without making these behavioral changes, you will not be able to lose weight. Also, you need to reinforce this belief that “I will have to eat healthy to lose weight.”
Making it a habit will help you achieve your goal. When we stop a bad habit (in the above example, eating junk food), we need to replace it with a healthier habit (eating healthier food). Small changes today will help yield larger results in the long run.
You don’t have social support
This is one point that I keep telling my clients and my peers. It is difficult to achieve goals if you don’t have social support. It is difficult to stay motivated when you are alone. What do we do in such a case? We can always reach out to our friends, family, and peers for support. Identify people in your social circle who share the same goals as you. Put a post on your social media handles and get going.
Are we ready to change?
One of the questions that most people find difficult to answer is why do they want to change? In most cases, people are not aware of the motive or reason for the change; they want to change because others are doing it. A lot of people ending following the herd.
If weight loss is on your list of resolutions, ask yourself, why do you want to do it? Is it because everyone is doing it or because you are concerned about your well being? When we are aware of the motive or the reason for a change, there are higher chances that we will stick to it.
We rely too much on willpower!
It has been found that people who make resolutions, rely majorly on willpower and suppressing their cravings. But what most people don’t take into account is the fact that we all have a limited supply of willpower. After a few days or after a threshold, we end up exhausting our source of willpower and give in to our cravings and old habits.
What we need here are discipline and self-control. Discipline and self-control are more effective in helping us achieve our goals.
These are some of the reasons which prevent us from sticking to our new year’s resolution.
I have always made new year's resolutions. most of the time they were about losing weight, becoming more active, and dealing with procrastination. but I was hardly able to stick to them. when I reflected on it, I realized I wasn't doing it for myself; I was making resolutions because they were in trend. also, was I ready to make a change? No! for me change was never an easy process and giving up on bad habits was always difficult. so what did I do? I started treating my resolutions as long term goals and started splitting them into achievable short term goals.
The year has just begun and becoming aware of your limitations now will help you work on them. So if you know that you need to change your thought process, you can do it now for it will not only help you fulfill your new year’s resolutions but will also help you in the longer run.
This is an interesting TED Talk on changing behavior.
What do you think about it? What are your reasons for not sticking to your list of resolutions?