Keep your value.
Khawar Nehal
Founder & CEO at Remote Support LLC | Expert in IT Solutions & Remote Technology Assistance | Empowering Businesses with Seamless Tech Support | Provide training for improving businesses
1. Not Invited, Don’t Go
This means not inserting yourself into spaces where you weren’t explicitly invited. It’s about respecting yourself enough to avoid situations where your presence isn’t genuinely wanted or valued.
Examples:
Social Events: If a group of friends is planning a trip or a dinner and you weren’t invited, don’t try to invite yourself or ask why you weren’t included. Instead, focus on spending time with people who actively want you around.
Example: Your coworkers are going out for drinks after work but didn’t invite you. Instead of feeling hurt or asking to join, plan something enjoyable for yourself or connect with friends who value your company.
Work Projects: If you weren’t asked to be part of a project or meeting, don’t force your way in. It’s better to focus on tasks where your contributions are recognized and appreciated.
Example: Your manager assigns a high-profile project to a colleague but doesn’t include you. Instead of pushing to be involved, focus on excelling in your own responsibilities or seeking opportunities where your skills are valued.
Family Gatherings: If a family event is happening and you weren’t invited, don’t show up unannounced or demand an explanation. Spend your time with people who genuinely want you there.
Example: Your relatives are having a reunion but didn’t include you. Instead of confronting them, plan a meaningful day for yourself or connect with friends who appreciate your presence.
2. Not Told, Don’t Ask
This means not seeking information or explanations about things you weren’t informed about. It’s about avoiding unnecessary drama and protecting your peace by not chasing after people or situations that don’t prioritize you.
Examples:
Plans or Events: If someone makes plans or attends an event without telling you, don’t ask why you weren’t included. Their actions already show where you stand.
Example: Your friend posts pictures of a party you didn’t know about. Instead of asking, “Why wasn’t I invited?” accept that it wasn’t meant for you and focus on people who include you without hesitation.
Work Updates: If your boss or colleagues make decisions without consulting you, don’t chase after explanations. Focus on what’s within your control and look for opportunities where your input is valued.
Example: Your team changes a project’s direction without informing you. Instead of asking, “Why wasn’t I told?” focus on excelling in your role or seeking a team that respects your contributions.
Personal Relationships: If someone shares important news with others but not you, don’t ask why they didn’t tell you. Their actions speak volumes about your place in their life.
Example: A family member announces a big life event on social media but didn’t tell you directly. Instead of confronting them, focus on relationships where communication is open and mutual.
3. Late Invite, Decline
A late invite often means you were an afterthought or a backup option. Declining shows that you value your time and won’t settle for being someone’s second choice.
Examples:
Social Events: If someone invites you to an event last minute, it’s likely because someone else canceled or they didn’t think of you initially. Politely decline and spend your time on something more meaningful.
Example: A friend texts you the day before a party, saying, “Hey, do you want to come?” Instead of accepting, say, “Thanks for thinking of me, but I already have plans.” Then, do something that makes you happy.
Work Opportunities: If you’re asked to join a project or meeting at the last minute, it may mean they only need you to fill a gap. Politely decline if it doesn’t align with your priorities.
Example: Your boss asks you to present in a meeting with no prior notice. Instead of scrambling to prepare, say, “I’m not available on such short notice, but I’d be happy to help with proper planning next time.”
Family or Social Gatherings: If you’re invited late to a family event or gathering, it may mean you weren’t part of the original plan. Decline and focus on people who prioritize you.
Example: Your cousin calls you the day before a family dinner, saying, “We realized we forgot to invite you.” Instead of going, say, “Thanks for letting me know, but I’ve already made other plans.”
4. When You’re Not Valued Properly, Avoid Being Messed Around With
This is the overarching principle. If someone doesn’t value you, don’t waste your time trying to prove your worth or chasing their approval. Instead, focus on relationships and situations where you’re respected and appreciated.
Examples:
One-Sided Friendships: If a friend only reaches out when they need something but ignores you otherwise, stop making an effort. Focus on friends who reciprocate your energy.
Example: A friend only calls you when they need help moving or borrowing money. Instead of always being available, say, “I’m busy right now,” and invest in friendships where the effort is mutual.
Toxic Work Environments: If your contributions are constantly overlooked or undervalued at work, start looking for opportunities where your skills are appreciated.
Example: Your ideas are always dismissed in meetings, and credit is given to others. Instead of staying frustrated, update your resume and explore workplaces that value your expertise.
Unbalanced Relationships: If a partner or family member takes you for granted, set boundaries and prioritize your well-being.
Example: Your partner expects you to handle all the household chores without appreciation. Instead of tolerating it, have a conversation about shared responsibilities and respect.
Final Thoughts:
These principles are about self-respect, boundaries, and valuing your time and energy. By following them, you avoid being taken for granted, disrespected, or treated as an afterthought. Remember, you deserve to be in spaces where you’re genuinely wanted and appreciated. Focus on relationships and opportunities that align with your worth, and don’t be afraid to walk away from what doesn’t serve you. ???
Setting boundaries and knowing your worth is crucial. Here’s how you can stop accepting or responding to situations where you’re not valued:
Recognize Your Worth:
Remind yourself that you deserve respect, appreciation, and kindness.
Don’t settle for less than you’re worth.
Set Clear Boundaries:
Be firm about what you will and won’t tolerate.
Communicate your boundaries calmly and confidently.
Learn to Say No:
Saying “no” is not selfish—it’s self-respect.
You don’t owe anyone your time, energy, or effort if they don’t value you.
Stop Seeking Validation:
Focus on your own self-approval rather than seeking it from others.
Surround yourself with people who uplift and appreciate you.
Walk Away:
If someone consistently disrespects or undervalues you, distance yourself.
You don’t need to explain or justify your decision to anyone.
Invest in Yourself:
Spend your time and energy on things that bring you joy and growth.
Prioritize relationships and activities that align with your values.
Remember, you are enough just as you are, and you don’t need to prove your worth to anyone. Protect your energy and focus on what truly matters. ???
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