KEEP THE STONES AWAY!

Mazher's mom used to tell him when he was still in his early 20s that he had abundant patience and a high level of tolerance with him. But Mazher knew that deep inside he had an inherent bad temper which he always tried to keep in check. Over the years, his short tenure in the teaching field and later his entry into the service industry mellowed his temperament wherein he himself was astonished at the level of patience in his character.

He recalled, as a father, how tolerant he had to be with his child who had just learnt to hold the pencil while he wanted to see some really beautiful handwriting. He envied his wife's patience in that matter.

Later in life, his tolerance was put to test when he finally allowed his son after attaining the age of 18 and procuring a Driving License to drive his car; he would check every day if his son had decorated it with any new scratches or dents. On spotting some, he would recall how many he himself had put on it as a learner, and smile to himself.

At work, it was no different when it came to handling his team. He had built an image of a sculptor for himself, training youngsters to become coveted masterpieces in his industry. The word was always around that "If you want to slog, rough it out, be chipped and chiselled, think of working with Mazher, else forget it".

He watched how the recently elevated seniors in his organisation were responding to the doubts and queries raised by the newcomers to the team by showing their irritation and sometimes their temper. They seemed to forget that you cannot expect a newcomer to the team or the family at home to get completely familiar with the nuances of the culture, etiquette and principles in a couple of weeks or even a few months for that matter. Your impatience towards the newcomer could cause more harm than good. You'd have watched the caterpillar wrap itself around into a pupa and later transform into a butterfly inside the pupa.

Can you imagine what would happen if you got impatient and broke open the pupa to let the butterfly out? The butterfly would be born with shrivelled wings that don't support her to fly and she stays crippled for life. Patience and Tolerance are important to enable someone to learn and develop.

?Having said that, it requires both parties to have clear expectations from each other and be willing to take accountability for their respective actions. When empathy and support for those who genuinely wish to learn and grow are replaced with frustration and criticism, it is no less than throwing stones at someone who is trying to climb the mountain.

?On the other hand, Mazher could not ignore the growing number of people with a stubborn "I know it all" attitude. It irritated him no end to find some really adamant people who blatantly announced, "This is how I was, I am, and I shall be".

Such a pathetic attitude reminded Mazher of Alwin Toffler's words:

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn".

?Mazher was quite disturbed at both the situations, the depleting level of patience in the mentors and the abhorrent level of adamance in some of the learners. He actually wondered if both the qualities, patience and tolerance were not held in high esteem anymore, as in yesteryears.

That led him to ponder if technology was somehow responsible for such a change in people's outlook!?! When everything was available at the click of a key, why bother putting in more strenuous efforts to refine anything, including your own self?

In today's times, everything is returnable and replaceable, but relationships are not. Where the human element is involved, only relationships matter; you can nurture them, grow them to be strong and keep them uncorrupted, only when you are willing to keep the stones away and refrain from throwing them at the one who is making an effort to change to be better.

"Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent." — Billy Graham        

As age started showing signs of its ugly side, it became difficult even for Mazher to show the same amount of patience, and retain the same level of tolerance in dealing with people. His confidants said it was normal, but Mazher was not ready to buy that logic; he felt it would be an excuse to compromise his own forte. Each day became more challenging for him as he found that those he wanted to see sparkling bright and stand out, did not show as much enthusiasm in their own output as he showed towards their endeavours.

Nevertheless, Mazher keeps the stones away!

~ Mazher H. Syed

August 26, 2023.