Keep It Simple Stupid!

As the father of 4 children, ages 13, 11, 9, and 7, I can honestly say that things can be overwhelming at times. I know that there is a stigma out there that causes all of us all to create an appearance that shows us as having it all together, but that just simply isn't reality! Life is REAL, which is one of the areas that my wife and I have tried to focus some of our extracurricular energy on. We want to come off to others around us as REAL, not fake... not someone whom has it all together; rather, as people who are going through the thick of it, and whom are seeking ways to be successful in the midst of life's battles.

Our four children recently got accepted in to a very rigorous charter school: BASIS. While this is a huge privilege, it also brings with it an immense amount of change. You see, each of our children were/are in club sports, and we were trudging along in our routine. In fact, I would say that all of the family members were very comfortable with hitting on all cylinders, mostly all of the time, and without too much effort. And then BASIS happened!!! To say that each child has at least an hour and a half of homework- per night- would likely be an understatement! To top it all off, my wife accepted a completely new role, which would challenge her to learn, but also to get up to speed- quickly. Here's the kicker, all of this change, and all at once, began to overwhelm most of individuals that make up our family. In such situations, I think that it is human tendency to instantly look back as if to find to our immediate past and dream of what once was. However, this can often cause us to divert back to previous, more comfortable, places in our past. As a father whom always wants to drive our children, and our family, to do more and to become more, I simply could not accept reverting back to #normal as an option! I decided to think of our new challenge from a positive point of view. I started say things like, "this is exactly what our family needed" and "what better way to challenge ourselves, to grow, and to become more." However, my family did not take to dad's positive verbiage all too quickly. Each of us found ourselves completely exhausted, on every night of the week. We were focusing on our individual, immediate, circumstance rather than the outcomes of accepting and overcoming a challenge. Therefore, I was forced to contemplate more, to deliberate more. I had to find a way- a tool- to help our family snap into GO mode!

Then, after several moments of consternation, it dawned on me! In each of our previous challenges or hurdles in life, we have created mantras: simple sayings that can re-focus either one, or all, of us. In fact, these mantras started out as a way for dad to jar himself out of his immediate, self encapsulating, state-of-mind and to immediately re-target his energy. I know it sounds very rudimentary, but simply saying something out-loud is a very effective way for me to turn off whatever 'other' items are occupying my mind, and re-focus them on the thing in life that I had/have prioritized as important. I bet your thinking to yourself, "What mantra could be so powerful that it totally changes an outcome or current trajectory?" Well, I am glad you asked :). You see, what I have found with our families mantras, is that they work best in their simplicity! In fact, trying to create some magnanimous, game-changing, mantra would seem overwhelming in and of itself- not to mention actually carrying it out on a day to day basis! On the contrary, something that is easy to conceptualize will often be easy to repeat and will therefore become catchy! This has been true in each of the successful mantras of our past.

Here's our current mantra that is in play for the 'BASIS' period of our life: "Be positive, expect more of yourself, and do the WORK!" We deepen our voice and emphasize the word 'WORK' so as to encourage action behind the saying as well as make is sound snazzy! It has caught on well, and my little dude: Dane Ryan Avery, can often be heard in a distant part of the house saying- "do the WORK!" I even woke up to a note on my youngest daughter's whiteboard today- it was a task list for the items she needed to do that morning, and it simply ended with these written words, "be positive, expect more of yourself, and do the work."

Try creating a simple mantra the next time your family is up against something! If you do, please feel free to write me some feedback and let me know how it turned out. Until next time...

Be positive- Expect more of yourself- and- Do the WORK!