Keep moving forward

Have you ever wondered what Roger Federer, Rocky Balboa and a tech executive have in common?

There is a video circulating on social media with Roger Federer in a commencement speech at Dartmouth College. He shares three lessons - effortless is a myth, it is only a point, and the world is bigger than a tennis court. The second one is the one relevant for this article.?

As one of the best tennis players of all time, Federer won 80% of the matches, but only 54% of the points he played. Once the point is played, whether won or lost, it is behind you. And if you dwell on it, you can’t focus on the next point. Champions, he continues, are the ones who better deal with their losses.

Which brings me to Rocky Balboa. There is a scene in Rocky Balboa (2006) in which Rocky tells his son that "the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows (...) it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!"

And then there is the tech executive. During the last Ignite Talks in Sydney, gianpaolo carraro shares the lessons he learned after playing poker for more than thirty years. "We expect that good decisions lead to good outcomes", he says, "but what happens if you get a good decision with a bad outcomes? Poker teaches you to accept and continue, to judge yourself on the decision, not the outcome." GP acknowledges that factors outside our control also influence outcomes.

Whether learned on tennis courts, boxing rings or poker tables, they all share the same lessons: accept defeats, learn with mistakes and move forward. They talk about hard work, grit, accountability and positive mindset.

These lessons may be easy to understand at a conceptual level, but can be hard to implement. It can be very hard to hit a great serve after two straight double faults, to rise from the canvas after a punch or to play another hand after losing a large sum of money. So what exactly can we do to deal with our losses and move forward? In my experience, three things:

Take a breath. Take a few deep breaths and feel the sensations in your body. As I tell my daughters, "smell the flower and blow the candle". The breaths will connect you to the moment, calm you down and remind you that the present is all there is.

Get some perspective. Look around and notice. There is always someone in a worse position. Choose to see the glass half full. It is not dismissing what you are going through but recognising that in some ways you are fortunate - be grateful for that.

Help others. Providing services to those in need will help you get the attention away from your situation, make you feel good and open up space in your mind to think clearly. It may also create some opportunities and take you on path not initially anticipated.

In summary, if you are going through some tough times, always remember to take a breath, get some perspective and help others so that you can learn and keep moving forward.