Keep it dark
Shh! Quiet, I hear someone crying quietly, or maybe he's so far from me. I have to be very focused to hear whatever he's speaking. Oh! baby, please don't cry, what happened? Finally, at least he started speaking something. Too much darkness here, they said life is beautiful for people like me. Whenever I show my results to my family they really appreciate me and keep saying I will become better than anyone in my family but why god? My younger brother who's always bad in subjects got a better life than me. I guess there is nothing left for me, I just want to end myself. What can I do? I can only hear them but can't do anything. Shit shit, what can I do? Oh! strange, he's laughing but why? He's saying something, let's listen. I am the dumbest person ever who trying to end his life just because of jealousy. So dumb, wait what? I can see myself laying down the road with blood all around me, My body is lying on the road. How is this possible? Am I dead? Wtf, oh! man. Look at this dumb person, look at me. I had everything my whole loving family who never disrespect me for my failures and never praised me for my success. Also, had a wonderful brother who loves me more than anything in this world. That dumb even want to give me a better job with a partnership in his business. But why nobody notices me? Oh! God, how my family will know that I am dead cause I am far far away from them. Oh! man, I didn't think about this. I guess there's no revert. My little baby brother might break apart because of me. Oh! no no no, my father can't handle this cause he had heart problems. I guess I have to move now cause I'm really a bad creature who hurts good people. What's going on? why is everything moving so fast? It feels like everything keeps moving without me. Where is my body? I have to check with my family. Oh! my brother got a wife and children, they really look happy. Jonathan, where are you going? I am here. I guess they know about me. What? He started drinking but he stopped drinking and said never to drink again. I guess because of stress, it's okay. He's trying to say something " Brother, why go away all alone? why not you bring me with you? I can't forget you. I never blame you for whatever happened with our family but you really did very wrong. Because of your suicide, I lost both mom and dad. All alone started living in the streets like a homeless but somehow I collected my broken piece and start loving again. I don't think we ever try to stop you from doing whatever you like. I can suicide when we were younger cause you got all the prizes and I got all the hatred but I never think that. Maybe! I am a coward. I want to end my life cause I am a burden to my little family, an angry alcoholic father who beat women and children. I guess my family will be okay without me but wait, my darling jasmine really loves me. I can't break her heart, I have to move on and change myself. What's going on? Why did everything start moving so fast again? Jonathan Jonathan where are you going? No No, let me talk to my brother. Oh! no no, he's older now. He's dying because of the alcohol. I did... I did this I am the one who became the main source of darkness. I wish... I wish I was a little braver in reality and face the darkness inside me. I wish I locked that darkness deeper inside my heart. Where is this light coming from? Is it heaven? Should I go there? Why are you running toward the darkness? This man has really gone through a lot and I am the one who just listen to him and did nothing. Oh! I can still hear him. I don't want light, please keep it dark. Let's see what others want to say... see you there in the next chapter...