Keep Calm and Manager On...

You are sitting in another stupefying meeting. The Board is way off the agenda, wandering far and wide amidst the weeds. You have tried, to no avail, to bring them back to the matters at hand, but they are cowboys out on their own trail ride and all you can do is listen, take some notes and try not to scream. Then, it happens: Someone utters what may the stupidest idea you have ever heard in your life, one so devoid of business acumen and common sense that you cannot help yourself from stating the obvious in no uncertain terms: That WON’T WORK and here is why..." Wherein you proceed to list 5 or 6 facts refuting their notion and reinforcing your point.

There is no doubt the manager has the proficiency and knowledge that could alleviate, or at least mitigate, any of the multitude of Board and community ailments, problems or conflicts. The rub is that the wisdom of the manager's experience is often dismissed. The manager becomes frustrated, and, in the scenario above, allowed that frustration to show in no uncertain terms.

This is not the first time manager frustration has bubbled up and unfortunate words blurted out; and surely, it will not be the last. Frustration is understandable: There is a knowledge and experience gap between manager and Board, as managers are exposed to myriad problems and solutions, both good and bad. It's very difficult to sit in meeting after meeting and watch a Board wander around lost, and not be receptive to guidance. Here are few tips on keeping your frustration with unproductive meetings in check so you can Keep Calm and Manager On:

Know that meetings are 50% decisions and 50% politics. It's natural to expect things to get accomplished in Board meetings, because that's why those meetings are held, right? After all, it's what you're all about: Getting things done on behalf of your client based on those decisions. Well, uh, nope. Meetings are as much about politics as they are about function and politics is about power.

While motions may be approved on easy issues, on tougher issues, where there is ego/prestige/money involved… maybe not so much. There will be a lot of posturing, bluster, stone-rubbing and incense-burning, and decisions will be made slowly, or not at all. The process is inherently inefficient and anathema to your good management skills; thus, frustrating. Remember, this is what Boards do, and your understanding that time-consuming politics is as much a part of the meeting as action, will go a long way in keeping your expectations realistic and your frustration level in check.

Recognize when your frustration is building. Your heart rate is up; your eyeballs rolling, tapping your pen and having visions of mayhem. These are warning signs: Not only is your frustration is showing (no bueno), you may be on the road to saying something you shouldn't. Distract yourself: Change your posture, take the pen out of your hand, have a long, deep breath and consciously relax your jaw muscles. Do whatever it takes to get out of that danger zone. Excuse yourself from the meeting for a few minutes if you must, walk outside and breathe some fresh air to remember that you indeed are not stuck in The Matrix. whew

Know you can only do so much. The system of volunteer governance is an imperfect one, often resulting in Boards taking a wrong turns, despite your best efforts. Accept this fact, realize that there is a limit on what you can do, work as close as possible to that limit and then… let it go. You'll be much happier if you own this truth, and less likely to find yourself in an adversarial relationship with your client.

Likely, you’re not the only one who finds these meetings sub-optimal. If meetings are frustratingly unproductive, chances are at least a few of the Board members share your frustration and would welcome a different tack. You can guide your group to more knowledge and better decisions through a long-term strategy of communication that takes place between meetings through various methods, such as:

1. Well-composed memoranda that concisely outline the issue(s) they are avoiding, with suggested courses of action presented to the Board;

2. Suggest the formation of small, task-oriented sub-committees with one or two Board members and (maybe) residents who are receptive to your guidance;

3. Utilize outside experts who may be able to guide (shame?) the smaller, or even the larger, group to a more confident decision.

When more information is brought to the Board outside of a meeting, especially when it comes from their peers (the sub-committee) and/or through an expert (attorney, insurance agent, roof consultant, etc.) and that information is additionally supported by the manager, they may move beyond their fear of decision-making or petty political maneuvering. No doubt, this is more work for you upfront, and you'll have to weigh the cost-benefit ratio to your company and your other clients; however, positive change can happen and you can have a hand in it.

Frustrating Board meetings are a fact of life and nowhere more so than in the community management business. Don't let it get you down. Keep your calm and your wits about you by recognizing when your frustration level is building and mitigate it before you blurt out something you shouldn't, know that meetings are as much, or more, about politics than action, and that there is more than one way to move a Board. But if you can’t, make sure you’ve documented your guidance and then… Let it go. As I always say, the Board can plant the trees upside and paint them purple, if they want. We don't recommend, but we surely can expedite it. :-) You can now keep calm and manager on.?

c. 2023 Julie Adamen, Adamen Inc. all rights reserved