KEEP CALM, IT'S BULLSHIT

Is bullshit a bad word? I want to use it today. Really use it today.

Most days I feel like a dumping ground where well packaged bull shit is being dumped with no discretion. It is sucking out my oxygen, making it hard for me to think clearly, such is the magnitude of its quantum and intensity. It seems to have consumed most of us.... and we laugh.

When Big Boss first hit Indian television world, I watched the first season with a sense of doom. That was the first official ban I invoked at home. As kids protested and the husband raised a surprised eyebrow, I dug my heels into my unpopular decision with a force they hadn’t seen till then. The well-dressed-bad-behavior, blurring the lines between audacity and aggression, aggression and violence was horrifying. The first seasons had taught me valuable lessons. I learnt the power of violent words. I learnt the dangers of ‘laughing it off.’

Laughter has wicked power. We really believe in the hansi-toh-phansi bullshit. When you and I laugh at obnoxious, ridiculous rubbish, we promote the normalizing of a thought, an action, a move that should have been discouraged, squashed, preferably nipped in the bud.

I laughed when I saw the first fight break out on Big Boss many years ago.

I laughed the first time a news anchor assumed God-ship of his panel.

I laughed at Karan’s ‘witty’ chat show putting down people other than those in his inner circle.

I laughed when Kangana, a guest at the same show publicly shred the reputation of her host.

I laughed when Kapil made gutter-worthy jokes on plain-looking women, obese women…

I laughed at memes publicly ridiculing Rhea on her clothes, her background without any evidence.

Even in regular life, I laughed each time irrational, illogical, stupidness replaced logical reasoning. I followed the masses.

When we chuckle about rasode-mein-kaun-tha instead of demanding such regressive crap doesn’t ever make it to our lives, we are buying patriarchal bullshit that ought to be vehemently rejected. Instead, we choose to laugh.

As the war of words between influential female actors is playing out on social media, we have become jamuras to our madari. Dancing to his tune, we are taking ill-informed positions, judging these women, pulling out any transgressions from their past, any miscommunications to build our artillery and shame them.

She was unmarried and living with him?... Loose charactered! Shame Shame!

She sat too close to a man showing too much cleavage? …. Promiscuous s*** ! Shame Shame!

She looks hot in her films and wore what she want?.... She’s a soft porn star! Shame Shame!

Imagine if these outstanding women fought together against patriarchy instead of pitting against each other. Imagine the power of such brilliant collective voice. Understand why it will never be allowed to happen?

It takes a lot to lift another person. As we lift someone else, we rise with them. If only we understood this; we wouldn’t be in this mess we are.

As I see the weakening of nuance, goodness and diversity, it's important to own up to my responsibility in this decline. This fall from grace has been facilitated by me too. Each time I humour it, each time I laugh.

I’m really tired of laughing now. So, I’ve decided to not laugh as human decency is murdered every day and not be entertained as successful women pull each other down. I will not laugh as creative words and memes seduce us into demeaning people we don’t like or understand. It occupies priceless space in my reasoning mind and I reject it, firmly.

I’m keeping calm folks, it’s only bullshit. There’s miles to go before we sleep, and there are wonderful promises to keep.

Funny, we say bullshit is a bad word, don’t you think? Bad only to say, not to consume.