Justice

June 25, 2023 (Sunday)

I was to see another psychiatrist, Dr X who is now my assigned psychiatrist, and the key worker on Friday the 23rd. First of all, I asked Dr X to confirm that loss of memory, brain fog, blurred vision, impaired balance, weak legs, diabetes, high blood pressure, gout, high cholesterol, impaired taste, dry mouth, dizziness… are all side effects I am/have been exeperiencing, especially to my husband. Dr X acknowledged that antipsychotic meds do have side effects. I asked an important question, why am I still under the Mental Health Act? I was not given a direct answer. I was allowed to speak my mind. An interesting question was asked by the key worker - do I think that I have a mental illness? To that, I answered I am doubting. Then I followed by giving my reasons - telling them how I pretended to be insane years ago when I walked into the psychiatric ward of Prince of Wales Hospital in Sydney due to paranoia (the beginning of my being labelled schizophrenia), more importantly, I told them that I remember every crazy act I did and why I did them. They were all driven by the paranoia and now after being followed by that for 50 years I got rid of it entirely. I can talk about it and I am very open about it. Since then I, too, believed that I am mentally ill which was why I diligently took the meds I was prescribed. When it came to the part about being manic, I told them what happened to me, what encounterings I have had which made me think that I am special and yet I have been fighting against that belief disregarding what I feel and what I have experienced and try not to take any of them into account. I did not want to have grandiose ideas which was a sign of mania, so I do things that I can and so far I have been able to finish doing some of the things I said I would do and in the process of doing others. Now nobody can say that I can’t do all the things I said I could.?

When I said there is no justice in court hearings (I’m talking from experience) as the verdict is not based on evidence but on what the psychiatrists want. Dr X told me there had been two (two) cases when the judge took off the MHA from the patients despite them having manic. When I said I’m not manic he said my case is a different one. I followed and asked why. He said I am spendthrift quoting the fact that I spent $9000 odd for the cruise. At this, I was very angry. Again I told them how dare they when that’s the only gift I gave myself after receiving a big amount of money from my mother in order to release stress, and anxiety and be happy again, while I have been given much larger sums of money to relatives; and also I can easily afford that!?

I was reminded of my court hearing on July 10 2023 and have been advised to send in whatever support I want the judge to see before the hearing and not just handed them in at the hearing. Fine, I will do just that and I have explained why at my last hearing I couldn’t - I was only informed by my lawyer on Friday evening that I’d be having a court hearing on Monday morning. I hope I will get answers to my questions and that justice does prevail!