Just who are you anyway??

This week's theme for my YouTube clips is Building a New Identity. I know a bit about this as I'm onto my third last name and up to my 5th or 6th identity.

No...I don't have a personality disorder.

Many, if not most women, know what it's like to have multiple last names over a lifetime. The one you're born with, the one you adopt when you marry and if, like me, you divorce and later remarry you take on another last name. BTW I've chosen to keep my second surname as my business name as it just gets too confusing - it's bad enough changes licences etc!!

So, who am I? Who have I been and how did those identities get me to where I am today?

I was born Bronwyn Jones, into a conservative Christian home. My identity - especially as the eldest child - was to be a good Christian girl, a good Christian daughter. At age 8 I decided I wanted to be a teacher and so took that path on leaving high school.

Then I married, became Bronwyn Williams, and worked at being a good Christian wife and a good Christian mother. Raised three sons. Finished my teaching career as a school principal.

End Act One.

Stopped being the good Christian wife when I left my marriage of 28 years. Had tried so hard to be all that the church taught I 'should' be, but the marriage was still dysfunctional, and I couldn't stay any longer. I later realised that it wasn't just dysfunctional - it was abusive. Kept Williams as my last name because, as I said to my mum's horror, I'd go back to my maiden name if it was more interesting!

Same name. Reinvented life.

Joined The Salvation Army and became an ordained minister. Completed a degree - and honours. Worked with asylum seekers. Shock horror - had a couple of relationships but didn't get married. I was figuring out what was important to me - my own rules and values, or those imposed by a system of beliefs. Turned 60. Time to do what I'd always wanted - be a professional speaker.

End Act Two.

Bought the domain name bronwilliams.com. Began the circuitous, complex, confusing, fulfilling, fascinating and fiscally challenging journey of building a business from scratch. I made it up as I went along. Got advice and guidance along the way. After the painful end to a 2-year relationship, I decided that although I could do life very well on my own, I really wanted to be in a relationship. So, off to the wilds of on-line dating again!

The love of my life turned up in an unexpected package - a tad shorter than me, 3 years younger than me, very different background to me. Married him last year. Kept my second surname as my business name, and added a third name in my private life - it is so much more complicated to change last names later in life, so many more things to change (bank accounts, government departments, licenses). Ever tried proving your identity when your birth certificate has one last name, your passport another, and your driver's licence another??

And, as Bronwyn O'Neill (Wesh first name and Irish last name - pretty cool) I'm doing PhD research asking the question, How might Augustine's work on shame inform contemporary discourse on bias? Planning on Dr Bron making an appearance in my 70s!

This is a long story to say that I know what it's like to build a new identify. To let go of old ways of being in the world. Of writing a new story.

Act Three is not done yet.

Who I am now is built on all that I have been thus far - and I bring all of me to my keynote presentations that focus on women in leadership writing their own stories, encouraging them that they, like me, are Superheroes in Disguise.

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Book me as a keynote speaker for your next training and development day, conference, or corporate event by going to bronwilliams.com or by sending me a direct message. Look forward to talking with you.