They Just Want to Use the Restroom in Peace

Navigating Safety: What Bathroom Access Means for Our Trans Kids

As a parent of a transgender child, I’ve seen firsthand how something as simple as using a public restroom can become a source of anxiety and fear. It’s a challenge that too many trans people face—balancing their basic needs with the fear of harassment or worse. In my upcoming book, About Your Black Transgender Child: Answers to MOST of Your Burning Questions, I dive deep into these realities, offering insights and support for parents who want to be allies for their kids.

Beyond the Basics: Why Restrooms Matter Restrooms are spaces most of us barely think about—until safety becomes an issue. For trans individuals, the fear of being judged, confronted, or even attacked while simply trying to use the bathroom can make everyday outings feel like an ordeal. This chapter explores the emotional and mental toll of this constant vigilance, including the health impacts of avoiding restrooms and the stress of always having to plan for safety. It’s a reminder that access to safe, inclusive restrooms is about so much more than convenience—it's about dignity, safety, and well-being.

Practical Steps for Parents and Allies In the chapter, I share tools like the REFUGE app, which helps families find gender-neutral restrooms wherever they go. It’s a small but meaningful step towards making life easier for trans kids and their parents. I also discuss how parents can advocate for more inclusive spaces, whether at their child's school or in their community. Small actions can create significant change, and sometimes, it starts with one voice speaking up.

Why This Matters Now More Than Ever The stakes have never been higher, with anti-trans legislation and social stigma making life outside the closet even more difficult for many trans individuals. But together, we can change the narrative. By creating safe, affirming spaces, we can ensure that trans kids feel valued and seen, no matter where they are.

Want More? Get the First Look! If you’re interested in learning more about how to support your trans child—or if you just want to be better equipped to be an ally—sign up for early access to About Your Black Transgender Child. The book will be dropping in just a few weeks, and I’m excited to share it with those who are ready to make a difference. Click [here] to get on the list for first dibs when it launches!

Let’s keep building a world where every child can thrive, one step, one restroom, one conversation at a time. ???????

Cheers!

Dr. L