Just Starting a Job Search? Do This ASAP!

NOTE: This is a heckalong post! I didn't intend for it to be so long. But it's important to read. If you think this all stinks, go read Cara-Ann Afflerbaugh 's excellent post here .

This week, less than two weeks before Christmas, many of my friends and colleagues received news they were losing their jobs. My LinkedIn feed is filled with people talking about the impact, the shock, the fear, as well as "I'm open to work!"

I'm reminded of the layoff I went through in January, just a couple weeks after Christmas, when I was general manager of a software and networking company. I'll spare you the details and why's of what happened, that's not important in this article.

What is important is what to do after you receive news that you have lost your job. This can come from getting fired or laid off (two different things), or Enron'ed (when the company (or team) goes belly up and the jobs just disappear).

Firstly, the Logistical Stuff

These things will typically jump out at you. Get a resume together. Um... go google what a resume is, and then look for resume templates? Or, dust off your old resume from your last job search and spend time updating it?

You might need to get business cards. Oh wait, this isn't the 1900's, never mind. Go update your LinkedIn resume... er, profile.

While you are there, maybe look at your connections. See who you should reach out to. Swallow your pride and send direct messages to people who have a role you want, work at a company you want, or can maybe introduce you to someone you need to talk to.

Get distracted by the LinkedIn job postings, like the gazillion other job seekers who are a few weeks ahead of you, so you can throw your name in with hundreds of others for openings. This, by the way, is supposedly only about 2% effective (that is, only about 2% of jobs are filled by people cold-applying to posting).

Speaking of distractions, go read a bunch of must-do articles on job search. I'll tell you something I've never seen anyone else write or say: THOSE ARTICLES ARE WRITTEN FOR THE MASSES, AND USUALLY IN LOWER-LEVEL POSITIONS.

It's critical to understand that the best-practices for a job search might be best-practices for a kid just getting out of school, or someone looking for a $50k job. You do a job search differently if you are looking at a $200k job, or for certain roles (sales vs. software vs. executive vs. etc.).

STOP. ALL THAT STUFF^^? Distractions.

Stop.

Take a breath.

I want you to go down a different path, just for a little bit.

This sets the foundation for your job search. So this is the real "firstly:"

Firstly, Just Sit in the Emotions

Emotions are going to happen. I remember exactly when I had the flood of emotions. Don't get me wrong, I had emotions when I was actually getting laid off (over the phone, which is how you should not lay off the general manager).

But the flood hit about 10 miles into my last commute home. I was getting off one highway, onto another, and stuck at a red light. And it hit me. A massive burden felt lifted off my shoulders. I was relieved. Having been the general manager, and tasked with fixing a company with gobbs of problems, I finally had none of that responsibility.

No longer did I have to work in a toxic environment. No longer did I have to protect my team from toxicity. No longer did I have to have ridiculous board meetings about every other week where I was grilled by the board, including the person who had created all the problems in the first place.

No longer did I have to wonder when I'd get a raise. It had been years, I had moved to a more expensive city to be closer to my team, and I had been bleeding money for way too long in hopes the company would turn around and I'd be appropriately compensated.

No longer did I have to feel like I was in an uphill battle every single day, wondering if the board would change things that would make my job more impossible than it was.

I also felt fear. I was afraid of what was next. I was going from comfortable "I have a job, salary, benefits, title, etc." to "Am I going to be homeless?" I didn't know what a job search was, but I knew it was going to be a lot of work. Would I be able to pay any bills, and for how long?

I felt shame. I was the sole breadwinner and I felt I had singlehandedly lost that role. I was going to go home unemployed for the first time in my marriage (not counting when we first got married). I was going to be the only person in my circles who was out of work. How long was I, an MBA who had had a pretty cool career and some impressive titles, going to be sending my resume out?

I felt the spectrum from bad to good. So happy to not have to deal with certain issues, so sad to have been booted out of my work circle. I knew some of those friendships were ending.

You need to just sit in your emotions. Don't bottle them up, and don't smother them with the metaphorical bottle (unhealthy coping activities).

Accept them. If you have someone to talk to, talk to them about your emotions. Talk about your fears, your feelings of shame, your excitement for the future.

If you don't have someone to talk with, write them down. Get them out of your head and on to paper.

It's okay to smile and put on a confident face but it's critical that you don't hide these emotions and feelings away, only to have them erupt at the wrong times later.

Next, Accept Your New "Ego"

You are going to do things you aren't comfortable with. There, I said it.

Don't care to talk to people you don't know? Get over that one pretty quick.

Don't want to ask people for help, including introductions? Practice this, and get good at it.

Don't want to get dressed up and go to evening (or early morning) network meetings? This was one of the hardest, and most important, things I did during my job search.

Don't want to think about making massive changes to your career plans? This is the exact right time to re-evaluate who you are and what you want to be when you grow up.

Don't want to sell your house and/or cars and/or toys and downsize your expenses? The neighbors who matter will not make fun of you at all when the toys disappear from your driveway, or when you have to make these massive, personal decisions. (Note: I didn't have any toys to sell, my cars were not new by any means).

Many people hear, "I lost my job," and think "how will you pay your bills?"

But losing your job is much more than losing a salary. In this post, which I wrote two years after my layoff, talks about that: I Lost More Than My Job 2 Years Ago .

Losing a title you have worked so hard for can be a blow right to the ego. Losing insurance can feel like the end of the world (COBRA, by the way, is so expensive it is, many times, cost prohibitive to keep). Losing your confidence is debilitating.

The last job I lost, in 2018, hurt. I didn't need the money (I had built other income streams)... I wrote about that in this post: I Got Laid Off Again. Why Losing 1 of 4 Income Streams Left Me Empowered. What hurt the most was the vision I had for what I was working on, and the team I was a part of. I got sent back home, alone, to do my own thing.

Look, my own thing is awesome. I love it. I'm having fun. But I thought I was going to change the world, maybe just the HR world, with what I was working on in that company. And to get laid off, or as I say, "kicked in the teeth," hurt. All my super fun stuff was pulled away from me.

I get it. It hurts. The scary thing is how are you going to pay your bills. The ego hurt is losing your identity. Losing your purpose. It's like you have built up a lot of career momentum, even comfort and security, and it's all removed.

Your ego will take a hit. Your identity will need to be redefined. This is not as easy as sitting down and writing what your new identity is. At least, for me, it included sleepless nights and frustratingly early mornings trying to deconstruct and reconstruct me, my future, my value, my goals, my place in society, etc.

When you wonder if you have been chosen to move on because you just weren't that good you'll inevitably have to go through a rebuilding process. Your ego will be bruised. Some things you'll have to fake until you get through them.

But I'm here to tell you, you will get through them. And you'll be stronger, eventually.

Next, Create a Vision

You may have worked for years to get to where you got (before your layoff). You have also learned a lot about your role. Maybe you learned that you weren't that good at certain things, or didn't enjoy certain parts of your work.

Maybe you learned that corporate politics or government bureaucracy are not for you. Maybe you have hated every minute of your too-long commute and you are ready for something closer to home.

This is the time to re-evaluate everything. I'm not saying you question your very existence. I'm inviting you to take this special time when you are not running a hundred miles an hour doing your job, because you have no job, to do some strategic thinking about yourself.

I have talked to hundreds, maybe thousands, of people over the years about this. You are so good at thinking about your products, projects, teams, and employer, but frankly you have sucked thinking about yourself.

It's time to take all of your brilliant thinking and focus it on YOU. Again, slow down. Even stop. Re-figure out what you want to be when you grow up. List the things you really want to do. What are your goals? Can you work backwards from those goals?

You might be at a different phase in life than you were when you started your career. Maybe those goals and ideas worked then but you have changed. Circumstances have changed. Maybe money isn't the main goal anymore. You want more time, or more flexibility. Maybe you never want to work nights or weekends again. Or it's time to get out of retail. Maybe it's time to move from a highly physical job to something that doesn't leave you in pain every day.

Take this time to figure out a vision for your next few decades. Figure out what kind of retirement you want to have. Figure out what kind of industry and organization you want to work for. Want to build a small business? Look for newly funded organizations that need your expertise.

There's no wrong time to work on your personal vision, but this is definitely the right time. Take time to do it. Talk to others if you need to. Be open to anything. The world is at your feet, you are the creator of your own destiny.

Here's a visual for you... I was gifted this by a special person I crossed paths with (Hi Heather Gardner !). I never told her the impact this had on me but it was deep and long-lasting:

Sorry for the bad picture... this is on my desk, more than a decade after she gave it to me.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

Now's the time to go deep on that, for yourself.

Finally, Get to Work on the Logistics

Going through those things, and going through them as often as you need to (which might be daily, might be hourly!!), will give you a good foundation to do the logistics.

Moving through (not necessarily past) the emotions is important. Learning to tuck your ego away and do hard/uncomfortable things will be a key to your success as a job seeker. And figuring out your vision will give you direction as you choose which logistics to work on.

Networking while grumpy is a bad idea. Networking with a fake smile because on the inside everything has fallen apart? Feels so weird. But you can't be grumpy when you meet someone. I wrote about this in my 2006 post (the year I got laid off) titled: I Smell Blood!

Now that you have worked through those things you are ready to do the logistics. I found I was doing all the wrong things in my job search. I found this out when I started going to networking meetings and talking to others who were in my same situation.

Don't get stuck doing the wrong stuff just because that's what you think you should do. Open your mind to how a job search is done today. There are some great tools and ideas out there. Find what works for you, do those things. Recalibrate and change your tasks as needed (do more of what is working, less of what isn't working).

Fin

Years ago my wife learned a friend's husband lost his job. They were devasted. They were terrified. She said she kept wanting to scream "CONGRATULATIONS!!" to them.

Losing my job in 2006 was so very hard. It was also one of the very best things that happened to my family. Going through the process was hard but it got us on a much better path for me and my family.

I'm convinced that as you go through this you'll maybe mourn, for years, this loss. But you will come out ahead. You'll be happier and feel secure again, one day. Perhaps most important, this experience will make you stronger, more resilient, and more prepared for future transitions that will come your way.