Just Say No...

Now if you're of a certain age, and I might be that age, then you may remember the BBC1 show Grange Hill. Set in the fictional secondary school Grange Hill, the series ran for 40 years and was considered ground-breaking when it came out. There was a famous storyline in the 80s that featured the issue of drug use by one of its leading stars, Zammo. This spawned a hit song called Just Say No. It was such a hit that the young cast was even flown to the White House to meet Nancy Reagan, it's worth a Google.

Well, any time I hear that phrase it is sung to the tune of that song, but that phrase has a power professionally and in the art of leadership that I wanted to explore in a bit more detail.

Just ignore my humming.

Saying no at work can be hard.

Let's just be honest about this, because it is.

In an experiment conducted by the University of Waterloo, individuals were asked to do something that went against their morals, such as damaging a library book. Even though they didn’t agree with the task, about half of them ended up doing it anyway.

But learning to just say no is also an important facet of leadership that is too often viewed through a negative prism. It isn't always.

So let me tell you a story. I remember once getting feedback from my line manager during a one to one. It was a pretty routine conversation but then they said something that stuck with me:

" Sal, I like the fact you say no to me."

To put it into context I would say no in the context that when my teams were pressured on what they could not do, because of the pressure in that particular environment at that time to say yes to additional work without the facility to put something down would have meant creating an unfair, unhealthy and stressful workload. It was on this basis that I used to say no to my manager at the time. But what I was struck by was, the fact that it was unusual for them to have heard this. This meant that he was used to hearing yes more frequently, and I know how some of their other teams worked...

This is just one example of saying no professionally, there are so many more that I could give personally but the point to make here is that saying no is a perfectly legitimate option to have as part of your workplace vocabulary, but it requires the muscle memory of a confident practitioner to wield it.

Learning to say no has benefits both personally and professionally:

• It creates boundaries.
• It can be an act of self-care.
• Leadership isn't just always about saying yes.
• Provides clarity on what's truly important.
• Can give expression to true values-based leadership.

So saying no has clear benefits but getting to that point and learning different ways to express how you say no requires conscious effort and practice. Here is a useful 5 step framework from Lifehack that I found that's worth sharing:

1. Practice Your Rejection: Practice the best way to decline someone’s request. Every situation is unique. But, if you know what to say and how to tell when it comes to declining someone’s request, it becomes easy to say “no.”
2. Know Your Priorities: Making a to-do list at the beginning of the week is better. Prioritize your tasks to be constantly aware of what you have to do. Knowing your impending chores makes it easy to say no to others.? ?
3. Grab Those Requests Beforehand: If you have walked into a situation where you can apprehend a request coming, please make sure to declare your unavailability beforehand. That way, you will not have to say “no” directly.
4. Take Your Time: Instead of saying “no” right away, you can request some time to consider their request. You can decline the request with a valid reason if the timing is not right.?
5. Be Sincere: Always provide a sincere and honest reason for declining something. It is never good to lie when declining someone’s request since people can feel the insincerity.?

The main point I want to get across is the idea that saying no, is actually implicit and fundamental to good leadership. Weak leadership is saying yes to everything, and then letting others deal with those consequences. Saying no, and understanding how to say no, is a form of self-empowerment that needs to be understood by all of us but at a much earlier point in our lives.

Professionally and personally.

The beauty of this point is if this has been something that you've been reluctant to try it's never too late to begin. It can be a quiet incremental process and one you can track your own progress on, and that work progress is key because you will start to move forward by learning and growing the confidence to say no.

Just try and it see.

It's time to break free, and my regular reminder for those stuck in a toxic culture.

In a toxic culture, weak leaders will always say yes to additional work from their managers and then pass on this additional work to their teams with no solution just the stern expectation that it is prioritised and done. They will then take the credit off the back of their team's efforts, which caused these individuals untold stress and additional hours.

If you notice this pattern where you work, it's a facet of a toxic culture.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

Steve Jobs

Wishing everyone the best week ahead.

Sal

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#FindingYourTrueNorth #WeRiseByLiftingEachOther