Just out of reach

Cookie, our lovely little dog bounded into the bedroom as she customarily does every morning, to greet us with joy and perform a joyful dance for her Marie biscuits. After our ritual meet and greet which includes her jumping onto my lap and licking the top of my head, I get to thinking “What makes dogs so special ?” Relationships with many in life get tired when they become too familiar or the interaction gets too frequent. But with dogs, this is not the case. Every day is fresh new and fun. What makes it so? I search for an answer, seem to get a glimpse of an insight, and then the day takes over. It’s time to go for a morning walk with Cookie, maybe I will find the answer outdoors.

Two hours later (That thought got lost as Cookie found her cat and squirrel friends) I was scrolling through social media and found an article that a friend had written “Lounges to logos, the endless scramble for new status symbols”. The headline grabs me and her words transport me into an airport and all the ailments of travel today. I race through the article seeking an answer. What is the new status symbol? What do the rich and famous do and where do they go to enjoy their wealth? Once again, I get a glimpse of an insight, but the real answer seems just around the corner.

A book I am reading “Have a Little Faith” by Mitch Albom also offers me glimpses of insight into a world I am seeking a map to navigate… the process of aging gracefully and finding life’s purpose. “…I was privately happy he fought his body’s decay. I did not like seeing him frail. He had always been a towering figure, a tall and upright man of God. Selfishly that’s how I wanted him to stay.” This passage transported me back to a catch-up I had with some of my childhood friends. At the time I could not put my finger on how I felt after meeting them.

I think it was hope, that some of them were moving into the next phase of life with grace and stature – if they can do it so can I. And there was also a realisation that I couldn’t hold onto the past. Cannot recreate what was. Just keep moving forward mindful of the fact that this current phase is one I will be looking back on soon trying to hold onto. So, might as well enjoy it while it’s here.

Each of these moments in the week gone by, seemed to feel like individual tear drops that squeezed their way out unannounced. Heralding some deep emotion that got stirred within, finding their way to the surface when I least expected it, but the rest could not follow. Just when I was hoping for more to flow, something got in the way.

It reminded me of walks in the hills back home. One more turn in the trail and I will finally get the full view of the valley below… or the hills above, but when I get there it seems that I need to climb just a bit further to see clearly. The insight seems to always be just out of my reach. Like a jigsaw puzzle, the pieces are all there and sometimes it’s difficult to see how they all fit. With time and patience and sometimes a change in perspective I hope the pieces will eventually come together and the full picture will emerge.

Life has been a bit scattered or should I say my mind has. I keep getting these glimpses of what appear to be powerful insights and before I can get a proper grip on them, I glide into something else. One insight away from the brilliant view, where the wisdom of the world reveals itself to me.

Maybe I just need to pause and the universe will show me that I have reached where I am going. The journey is inwards.