Just Listen!

It was a beautiful Friday. When a recruiter says, it’s a beautiful Friday.. it means that they are all set for the weekend hiring event on Saturday :) I was invited to my friend's house for dinner. No special occasion. They were gracious enough to host me. I reach his house with a bouquet welcomed by his beautiful family. A handsome young boy was arranging the dinner table for us and I asked him… Which class are you in? He politely replied - 9th standard and I’m going to 10th this June. In all my innocence, I asked him.. which rank did you get in your class? We had a good time and I left only to get a call in the middle of the night that the kid was crying and did not want to go to school anymore. I did not know the history of the child until then. This was a tight slap on my face and an awakening for me about mental health and anxiety.

Here are a few things that everyone should refrain from asking anyone, even if the intentions are good

• When are you getting married?
• When are you sharing the good news?
• Which rank did you get in school?
• When will your mom give you a brother/sister?

No two humans are the same in this society. Few are open to sharing their sufferings and most suffer and cry inside, alone. The companies that we work for are just an industry, people often mistake it to be a family. With cut-throat competition and self-interest often furthered by distancing others. Sometimes companies and leadership say, spend time on your self, take time off from work, but some folks are more stressed taking time away from work with the stress of being alone. Mental health is a much bigger taboo in this country than any other disease. Yet, medical insurance covers only physical health and not mental distress and anxiety. The larger society, most of us, do not know how to respond and for the sake of responding we share some crappy examples and cure. And the cure is not "get married and things will be all right", "have kids and things will be all right". 

Depression is like wanting to go home when you are already there. It is difficult to express in words and action. People may be rich, famous, high performers in your company… but you never know what demons they are fighting in their head. Be kind to people and be aware of what you speak. Don’t question, but listen.