Just let it go

Call them lessons, call them experiences, call them ordeals, call them struggles. Let's face it, we all have our share. And ah life! It has its own way of bringing these to us. Perhaps, it is these that make life so insanely breathtakingly beautiful, amazing, and worth living after all. 

When last week, my 7-year old daughter was watching a movie about a princess who has a super power to turn things into ice, I was reminded of one of the hardest and most important lessons life has to offer us. There is a song in the movie, which resonates the lesson, "Let it Go".

Be it a job, or a friend, when it doesn't match our value system, we face a dilemma. Something that has been such an important part of our life, we don't know how to move ahead with it or maybe, without it. And that perhaps is the most difficult conflict to resolve. "I've been a part of this organisation for so long, how can I?" or "We've known each other for so long, how can we?" Yes, it's difficult, painful, hurting and traumatic, all at once. 

Been there, done that

After having faced these (more than once) at some point in my life, I learnt some lessons, which have helped me take better decisions.

• Set your priorities - That job could be where you started your career, made achievements, and had some amazing colleagues. But if your priority is to change career paths, or avail a better opportunity, then "let go".
• Don't chase people - That friend is someone you've known for ages. And one fine day, they don't want to be in contact now for some reasons, inspite of you trying, then "let go". That friend was someone you trusted, but suddenly started acting weird, then "let go". Your views don't match over a certain thing, you disagree and have conflicts more often. Find a resolution, don't live on grudges, then "hold on". 
• Change is the only constant - Things change, situations change, people change. More often than not, the reasons for change are beyond our control. Life happens to everyone. It doesn't remain the same, for it shouldn't. Learn to adapt to the change. And before you know it, there is a stronger, a better, a wiser you standing in front of the mirror. Perhaps, that's what evolution is all about. 
• Pause, just pause - Yes, it works! When facing a dilemma, the best thing you can do is stay put, no steps back, no steps forth. Spend time in silence. Just breathe. And till you get the answer, Stop, Pause, Repeat.
• Solitude - We get so busy with life, commitments, and responsibilities that finding time for ourselves becomes impossible. Spending time with ourselves and staying in solitude is not a luxury, but an absolute necessity. And it is in these moments that we understand what we are and what we want. So when we have those decisions to make, we almost always know what to do.
• Communicate - Be mindful of who you communicate with though. Not because you shouldn't be vocal about your challenges, but because you want decisions that will help you live a better tomorrow. Something that works for me is I have people not only of my generation, but those not belonging to mine (read that both older and younger). And not only to those I am related to (read that family) but also to whom I am not (read that outside family). 

Everything comes at a cost, the price we pay is the choice we make: Whether to "let go" of it or "hold on" to it. 

However, the most important lesson that I have learnt is to keep the heart and mind in sync.

But if it comes to choosing between the heart and mind, I always remember and follow what my father says, "The heart and mind should always be in sync. When they aren't is where the root cause of all problems is. The mind can be manipulated, the heart can never go wrong."

I don't know whether there is any mantra to "hold on" or "let go", but I do know that the heart knows best.

So in a conflict between the heart and mind, let the heart win.