Just keeping my head above water on World Mental Health Day

It's been a while since my last LinkedIn article. But with yesterday’s hugely important World Mental Health Day (and maybe a LinkedIn event in the afternoon) it prompted me to return to my opinionated musings. ??

In all honestly, lately I have been way too busy to share my thoughts with you all. I have not had the energy for my usual ranks or the inspiration to ruminate. Today's article should uplifting, all about mental health awareness, but all I can think about is how I am just looking to keep my head above water.?

Gresham just completed a major rebrand, become a part of the STG – Symphony Technology Group family and integrated with Alveo Technology merging products, people, strategies, and comms. It's been exhilarating, yes, but also really exhausting. For weeks, my life has been a blur of deadlines, missed spell checks, 10pm slack huddles, and last-minute web page changes which probably still need work. I've been running on adrenaline, coffee, and the misguided belief that I can do it all. However (as we all realise at some point) the truth is I can't.?

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As the dust is starting to settle on our rebrand, I'm left feeling... frustrated. The opposite of where I should be. The excitement of launch day has faded, and as a marketing team, we are shifting back to a more sustainable work routine. So why the frustration? During the last 3 months, the life side of the work-life balance scale has gotten a lot lighter. I end my days feeling disheartened because I wasn’t able to tick off my personal wellness goals when the see-saw is tipping so strongly to support work output. ?

My yoga practice is suffering, date nights have slipped out of the diary, the diet is centered around speed of preparation rather than nutrients and weekends are spent observing the impacts of stress on my body. Am I the only one going through a stressful time, hell no, but it's hard to call it out and harder still to put it in a post on LinkedIn. ?

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In marketing and as leaders, we're always pushing for the next big thing, always striving to be better, faster, and more innovative. But at what cost? I miss the simple things. Reading a book on my commute on the way into the office instead of getting out the laptop. Getting in all my macros from properly planned meals. Going for a run instead of working through lunch. Having a conversation with my partner that doesn't start with decompressing about my?work day. Meditating. As each element of my strict wellness routine has started to slip I have become more and more frustrated with myself that I can't keep up with it all. ?

?Reflecting on this dilemma I realise how lucky I am that this isn’t my normal. Once we get through this flux of change the team and I will settle back into a rhythm that allows everyone to work on their 'virtual pet' and balance life's other important elements. I really feel for those people who live in this heightened state all the time. The ones with the bigger jobs, the larger family needs, unachievable targets to hit, underperformance to manage, and even more global travel. Possibly not realising the high cortisol impact until their bodies calls out and force them to stop. Like Arianna Huffington waking up in a pool of blood . ?

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I count myself lucky enough to be in touch with my body and able to identify the impacts of stress or being out of balance. I'm banking though that many others can't remember the last time they took a full breath in and a full breath out.

In this post I don't have any grand solutions or inspiring calls to action. Today, I'm just being honest. I'm not okay, and that's okay. I'm human. I struggle at times to try and do it all. Sometimes, keeping my head above water is the best I can do.?

If you're reading this and feeling the same way, know that you're not alone. We're all human, doing our best in a world that often demands more than we can give.?But have faith that by coming back to yourself, your breath, your wellness routine, you will navigate your way out.

On this World Mental Health Day, I'm not making promises or setting lofty goals. I'm simply acknowledging my situation and current capacity, taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and reminding myself that it's okay to not have it all together all the time.?