Just Keep Swimming..

The Premise: Life changes and situations change with it. You can either take it all in and propel yourself into action or just let it drown you in grief. I am a firm believer in making lemonade when lemons appear in your life. This time around after 29.9 years, when a certain life-changing situation took me by surprise, I had to take another quote 'just keep swimming' and live it. The only problem was that I actually did not know how to swim! So at the age of 54, on a friend's prompting, I thought why not learn how to swim in the literal meaning of the term, maybe that will help me save myself from drowning.

The Background: I come from a 'desi culture' (read: South Asian) where swimming is not taught as a life skill and if you are Brown and still know how to swim from growing up (30/40 years ago) back home, you were definitely privileged. As a young girl growing up in Islamabad, Pakistan, I did not have that opportunity of my parents being members of the exclusive Islamabad Club. Add to that my very real mental block and culturally-induced shyness of putting on a costume even in front of other women. Being athletic and growing up with three brothers, I played cricket, tennis, badminton instead and at school excelled in team sports representing my school and college. But swimming was not something I would even think about. I also grew up being scared of being in water with real-life incidents of losing some childhood friends to drowning. Therefore, swimming was a big scary thing for me till a few months back.

The Strategy: So I woke up that one day in November 2021 and on a friend's suggestion, went and bought myself a swimsuit and joined the nearest women's only pool at Movati Athletic and just walked in. There were no instructors due to covid protocols but I simply wanted to befriend the water, so I just walked in and started walking in it, shallow side. The chlorine smell taking over my nerves, scaring me a bit, but I still walked on. Then a few days later, I started running in the pool, taking up an entire lane with enthusiasm. I was still scared, but I liked that as it kept me focused... away from my life and situation which I was coping with at the time.

The Pool Community: The instructors were not coming in still and as my confidence in water grew so did my network of pool friends. They would generously give me tips to get started on. I showed up everyday without fail. One taught me how to use a pool noodle, one showed me how to put on the foam belt, another kind soul taught me how to do the flutter kick! It was a fine day in January when I was able to do a lap with a noodle amidst the cheers and encouragement of my new pool friends. I watched Youtube videos every night but learning the breaststroke and staying afloat without the noodle was surely a challenge. One encouraged me to just put my head in water and taught me how to inhale and exhale. After multiple attempts, water would still go in my nose and head! But I coughed it out and kept going at it.

The Lessons: Swimming gave me clarity even through my fogged up goggles. Clarity to think and know that I can do anything if I put my mind to it. It gave me nerves to see the bottom of the pool and not get scared. It gave me inspiration to imagine going scuba diving one day and got me excited to experience nature under the sea. It took my mind off stuff that I needed to move on in life. It was indeed a life skill saving me from any negative thoughts. But it also taught me how to relax my mind so I can relax my body. Swimming is all about believing that there is a bigger force which will hold you up and not let you drown so you need to let go...of the tension in your shoulders and the anxiety in your heart. Only then will you be graceful to float up. It's like in my faith, we call it 'Tawakul' having trust in God to hold you up in times of need, swimming got me closer to that concept again as for sure something was holding me up...all I had to do was just keep swimming.

Afternote: I was totally proud of myself for finally ditching the noodle with the help of a swim instructor that I got lucky to learn from on a quick visit back home to Islamabad in March 2022 for 5 lessons at the Islamabad Club. Life had come full circle, I was happy to learn a skill in the city I grew up in facing a fear I had growing up since a child. Coming back home to Toronto, my pool buddies clapped and cheered when I was able to swim a few laps two weeks ago, with nothing but my determination armed with their good wishes and support. I still have a long way to go...so I will just keep swimming on....not scared but genuinely excited for today and tomorrow.

This article is dedicated to my friend who motivated me to take up swimming.