Just FYI... I like ice cream.
Michael Bagalman
VP of Business Intelligence & Data Science | Professor of Practice | Analytical Alchemist: Transforming Data into Business Gold
So picture this: I'm in my car with a friend, and we're on a mission. A very important mission. We're going to get ice cream. ??
Now, my friend thinks he knows the way. But I've got Waze, the all-knowing, traffic-predicting oracle of our time. And let me tell you, Waze and I? We're tight. We're like those couples who finish each other's... routes.
So I ignore my friend's directions, and suddenly he goes, "Oh, I forgot that you're a slave to your GPS thing."
A slave? To my GPS?
First of all, if I'm a slave to anything, it's to the siren call of premium ice cream. But let's break this down.
Before smartphones, I kept maps in my glove compartment. Was I being controlled by Rand McNally? Was I living in fear of disappointing the cartography overlords?
When I followed the directions on a microwave dinner box, was I submitting to the will of Hungry-Man? "Cook for 3-4 minutes," it commands, and I, a mere mortal, must obey?
And don't even get me started on landlines. When that ring pierced the air, did I transform into Pavlov's dog, salivating at the thought of answering? "Hello? Yes, this is dog."
But here's the real scoop (ice cream pun intended): Maybe, just maybe, my friend was upset that I didn't listen to him. That he wasn't the one in charge.
Because let's face it, in the grand hierarchy of the car, it goes:
1. The driver
2. Waze
3. That weird noise the car sometimes makes
4. The friend giving directions
So remember: It's not about being a slave to technology. It's about using technology to get what you want. And what I want is ice cream. Without traffic. Is that so wrong?
?? Conference Alert
I’ll be speaking at #MADS24 - the Marketing Analytics and Data Science conference - in San Diego this October. Save $100 when you register with BAGALMAN100.
?? In The News
Here’s a rundown of important news in AI and data science.
Elon Musk’s “X” releases an off-the-rails AI.
You can’t make this stuff up: The “Manhattan Madam” is using AI to help RFK Jr.’s presidential campaign.
On a lighter note, you can turn the data of the universe into music.
?? Rabbit ROTFL
I use a VPN to keep my online activity private. The only one who knows what I'm up to is the VPN provider. It's like hiring a stalker to keep away the other stalkers.
?? My Recent LinkedIn Posts
Here are some of my posts in case you missed them.
My latest article for All Things Innovation is about how to structure your data team:
My “Exclusive” Offer to be Featured in a Magazine
My Article on the Hype around Technology
Feature Engineering is More Important than Model Selection
领英推荐
My (Long) Article about the Recent Problems at Nike
And did you know I write on Medium? Go to Medium.com and search for my name or Data Science Rabbit Hole!
?? Rabbit ROTFL (a backup, in case you didn’t laugh at the first one)
I'm not saying I'm a data hoarder, but I have a backup of my backup's backup. Just in case.
??Bad Dreams
I regularly wake up in a cold sweat, convinced my fancy Ivy League degrees are about to be revoked. How about you? No? Just me? Great. ??
When I entered college, I skipped the Freshman swim test. I was an excellent swimmer, but I had no desire to swim in the chlorine-smelling dungeon pool of the “MAC.”
Legend, almost certainly false, held that a large bequest was left to Harvard with strings attached. Harvard grad Harry Widener and his father had become Titanic popsicles and so Harry’s mother made sure the library was named for him.
Every student knew the three absolute rules that came with that gift:
?? No renovations to Widener library. (Because nothing preserves knowledge like structural decay.)
?? Daily ice cream. (Apparently, Harry had a sweet tooth. Or maybe Mom thought we'd all float better with extra padding.)
?? Swimming test was mandatory. (Because clearly, Olympic-level butterfly stroke is the key to surviving icy Atlantic waters. ??)
Fast forward to graduation. I'm waiting for my overpriced piece of paper when it hit me: I never took that damn test. Panic set in faster than a legacy student name-dropping daddy's donations.
It is not without precedent. Even the philosopher Mortimer Adler earned his Columbia PhD long before his Columbia bachelor's because of not having passed a swim test in 1923. Late in his career, after also being a professor at Columbia, he assured them he had learned to swim, and belatedly received his degree.
This irrational fear isn't just for swim-test dodgers. It's for anyone who's ever BS’d their way through a project or confused an F-test with a chi-square test (don't judge, we've all been there). Will they find out? Will they come for me? I even worry about admitting this publicly on LinkedIn!
Am I the only one treading water here?
?? Cartoon
?? Data Dictionary
Data Science: The art of finding complex patterns in large datasets and pretending it was intentional.
?? Specialization
Data science: from Century 21's sexiest job to midlife crisis in 3.14 seconds flat.
Remember when you thought you'd be the next Nate Silver? Now you're more like Nate Bronze, desperately polishing your rusty skills.
Let's dissect this career corpse and see what we can salvage, shall we?
Subspecialization is the new black. A brain surgeon and a podiatrist are both doctors, just like a celebrity divorce lawyer and a public defender are both attorneys. Similarly:
?? Tom's perfecting A/B tests for digital ad backgrounds. Thrilling.
?? Sally's coding xgboost to predict subprime credit scores. Living the dream.
Both "data scientists," both slowly dying inside. Both feeling the pressure to keep up with tech evolving faster than a politician's promises. Hope you like lifelong learning, because your degree's shelf life is shorter than milk left in Death Valley.
Want to be the big boss? Better start juggling:
?? Become the office know-it-all in your niche.
?? Learn enough elsewhere to nod sagely without drooling.
?? Pray obsolescence doesn't hit before your next review.
In this Hunger Games of tech, adaptability is your bow and arrow. Specialize or die, but keep one eye on the bigger picture.
?? Quote of the Day
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
Robert A. Heinlein
Copyright 2024 by Michael Bagalman
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