Just forget, "I am not good enough"

We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love"-Lori Deschene. This quote blows my mind. This simply means you cannot love yourself by hating yourself, hate will bring on more hate which is not the solution. firstly, I want to ask you that, what all forced you to hold these thoughts into your subconscious mind? There is a lot of pressure stacked up on everyone's heads in this competitive world. The Majority of people start developing this fear, so don't worry you are not alone in this. The main reason for what you are thinking is you compare yourself with others, which is again common. Amid all the pressure, we start comparing ourselves and we forget all the unique and wonderful things we possess.

Everyone in this world has flaws and uniqueness, so stop worrying about what you don't have and start focusing on what you have. And if you haven't found out what is unique about you, start exploring things which interest you, one or the other day you will find your uniqueness. No one is good in all aspects and cannot do everything, so don't underestimate yourself, instead believe in yourself. People will believe in you, only when you will start believing in yourself. And the truth is nobody is good enough, but do positive self-talk with yourself and find out your strengths. Listing few things you can do to improve your belief:-

Face your fears first. Dive deep into your heart and ask yourself these questions, why the hell am I thinking so low about myself? Majorly it's all related to fear and anxiety. After you find out what you fear is, start working on it. Worrying about something in which you are weak will land you nowhere, so you have to start getting better. Don't try to run, start small, take baby steps. Conquer one thing, one day. Start focusing on only your goals. Start small, start slow. Take a diary and jot down your dreams and goals which you want to achieve in life. Start engaging yourself in the activities that help you to get closer to your dreams. No one is more important than your dreams. So, start hustling for your goals. Eventually, you will start challenging yourself, also you will learn to push your limits. You will get to know your strengths. So, the basic idea is to start with your goals.

Start talking to someone trustworthy. Start sharing your fears and thoughts with your loved ones may be your school friend, cousin, partner, sister anyone. Our loved ones always know what is good in us, they will tell you your positives. Talking to our close ones makes us feel happier. You will feel that you burst your vague thoughts, ultimately you will feel lighter. Cut the toxic waste (people). People who let you down or find mistakes in you without any reason are nothing themselves. Start avoiding these people who pinpoint your flaws instead of supporting you.

Meditation and journaling helps. Start meditating for around 10-15 mins daily with consistency. I know, easier said than done. But this will bring you the inner peace which is so needed in this chaotic world. Journaling your thoughts can also help you. to get out of your head and releasing your negative emotions. You do you! Enjoy your work and your life so much that your success can't be questioned. It’s tough for other people to judge you when you’re satisfied with your results. Overcome your fears, stay happy and calm. Expect less, accept more. Do good. Get disappeared and become the best version of yourself.

Basically I blame schools for the idea that to do something, you have to be “good enough”; that there’s some kind of level you have to reach that gives you permission to try. You are not allowed to go onto the next stage until you have passed the test. You can’t read until you’ve read in front of a teacher. You can’t do maths until you’ve done this specific bit of maths on this specific bit of paper. You can’t speak Spanish until you’ve passed the Spanish exam. The reality is, you spoke Spanish just as well five minutes before the exam as you did five minutes after. You can still read, regardless of whether someone has seen you read. If a tree falls in a forest and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yes. Of course. But that whole rigmarole reinforces the idea that you aren’t good enough until you have the certificate to prove it, and unfortunately, there are a lot of things that don’t come with certificate. There’s no “good person” certificate. Or “generous friend” certificate. Or “competent at life” certificate. Where’s the test I had to pass before I can start a business? Where’s the test I had to pass before getting married? Where’s the test I had to pass before I had kids? There isn’t one. And we assume we’re not good enough to do it. The truth is, you won’t be “good enough” until it’s done.

If you have all the qualifications in the world, and don’t have the job, then you are not good enough for the job, and if you have zero qualifications and have the job, you are good enough for the job. If you are dating that person, you are good enough for that person. If you are taking up space in the world, then you are good enough to take up that space. This is your certificate. Doing it is your certificate. Surviving was your test, and you have passed. So do it. Try. If it doesn’t work, then try something else, but don't assume you're not good enough, because chances are, you're doing just fine.

You could begin by articulating your idea of an ideal person. Who is "good enough" in your opinion? Write down specific characteristics about the ideal person. Now you can clearly see what qualities you are missing and work towards it. This journey, however, must be tempered with a large dose of reality. One cannot be perfect and the constant images of perfection being thrust onto our faces makes us feel inadequate somehow. You must be able to distinguish the difference between "I want to be Beyoncé" and "I want to be able to manage my time better". My suggestion is that you be gentle on yourself. Appreciate yourself in all your imperfect glory. Recognize that we have the power to change and direct that power towards goals that develop you as a person. Cheers!