JUST DO YOU, BOO!

Dear Reader,

Thank you for taking the time to read my articles. I hope my experiences that I share inspires you in some shape or form.  Basically, once a month I publish an article around my experiences and generally things I am passionate about.  

I believe:

“Be Fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire”

The articles I publish is documenting this journey…my journey of finding my passion…Hence all articles are different, so I do apologise if you don’t relate to all of them.

My writing style is not academic as its more the way I speak. I found this style makes my articles easier to read but also, I hate for my passion to be distorted with the “correct way” of writing. Hence, I apologise for any errors especially to all you “English vocabulary Nerds” … 8-)

Also please note my articles are based on my opinions and not proven facts. Its things I have experienced and tools that have worked for me…if you would like to try them, great but please note you need to adjust them to your own situation.

If you would like abit of background about me, just to understand my views on a number of topics please read other articles I have published.

I am very excited about this month’s article. “Basically there are two educations one that teaches you how to make a living and the other how to live”

This month I got educated by a younger “old soul” on how to live.

On a personal level, I have been going through a few struggles, when this happens, I go on a soul-searching exercise.

I spend a lot of time self-reflecting. This keeps me grounded and helps me adjust very quickly when I am off the path I have chosen. With that said when I get lost in situations or relationships, I tend to adjust too much to the situation and end up losing not really my core values but more the added value things that makes life more enjoyable.

Over this month I have spent a lot of time with new people, experiencing new things…basically in pursuit of these added value things.

The first step of this journey was a mindset adjustment…many people know I am an introvert and not the social butterfly my parents and siblings are, hence I had to make a commitment that I was going to be opened to all types of experiences that comes my way…but also not just allow it to come my way but actively pursue these experiences.(P.s As an introvert this is a BIGGGGG thing…so no rolling your eyes).

I believe in having a wingman so for the last 30 days I befriended someone I wouldn’t generally add to my social circle…purely because she is 10 years younger…a creative type (very talented in many art forms) and totally different social creature from myself. I tend to play in circles that I am comfortable in hence the unlikely hood of this friendship.

 All I have to say is WOW!

As humans we need to sometimes put ourselves out there in order to experience new things…in order to grow you need to be out of your comfort zone…

“life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

 I admit at 34 years old, this concept outside the business arena seemed unnecessary to me at the start of this social experiment but the lessons I have learnt these past few weeks from this amazing person has definitely reinforced and not taught me a more enjoyable way to experience life.

In simple terms…Just say I got schooled!

Lesson 1- Music gives a soul to the Universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to Everything…Plato

My new friend, Ash, who is a talented artist, hence it is no surprise her first lesson was around experiencing music. I got to listen to some great music. I have always enjoyed a good track...but this month was on another level. I have listened to tracks from Eminem to Eric Clapton and much more… (As I write this article, I have my headphones on ??). 

I have learnt how to adjust my mood by getting lost in the right track, music can help not just uplift your mood but it helped me pay attention to what I was feeling so I could unpack it.

It took me down memory lane…every time I listen to an older track it took me back in time…its like running through a picture album but experiencing it through your ears and your imagination.

Many people use music at the gym or just before working out to get into the right work-out mind set…similar concept but now we just adjusting the track to inspire a different mind-set needed.

I was surprised how effective this method was. I work in an open plan office so sometimes I need to shut out the distraction…which drives my business partner crazy(lol he likes to randomly bounce off ideas), but it helped me be extremely productive and focused on ticking off tasks on my ever growing “to-do list”

Lesson 2- To be content doesn’t mean you don’t desire more, it means you’re thankful for what you have and patient for what’s to come…Tony Gaskins.

As time passes by, I have settled into routine and my comforts. I take it for granted what I can afford and to the point of forgetting how blessed I am. Firstly, being grateful for the basic things I have, like a roof over my head, running water and food in my fridge. Not forgetting everything over and above the basics…luxury things I can afford.

I have become extremely wasteful…

Two weeks ago, I got schooled about wasting by Ash.

I am not the master chef most Indian females are, hence I tend to eat out numerous times a week. Majority of the time there are leftover food which I don’t take away, purely because I know I am never going to get to it. In my head I was avoiding taking it home and disposing of it…But restaurants dispose of the leftovers as staff are not allowed to consume it.

A simple solution with big impact…Instead of saying no to a “doggy bag”…actually take it with you and definitely in SA within 500m from the restaurant you will find someone looking for a meal at the nearest robot.

I am sure many of us are guilty of this and we forget that in our country 14 million people go to bed hungry every night. So the next time you quick to say no to that doggy bag…remember that car guard working all day or that child at the robot asking for your spare change.

(Ash also doesn’t like wasting alcohol but that’s a story for another day… ??)

Lesson 3-My maturity doesn’t have an age.

This was a poor assumption on my part. Generally, when I meet a young person I turn into a bit of a mentor and try to be a role model figure.

Which is not a poor quality to have, as I am very passionate about developing the Youth in SA and basically imparting any knowledge I can to the future generation…actually to anyone willing to learn.

However, what I learnt is I also need to be open to the learning experience from the other side. When we meet someone, we need to be open to not just teaching but also taking out learnings. You never know what people have been through and lessons they can impart on your life. 

“It takes a wiseman to learn from his mistakes but an even wiser man to learn from others”

I always thought I was open to learning from anyone but Ash showed me actions speak louder than words.

When I met Ash, my attitude towards her was very “parent/child” rather than equals. I am not saying parents do not learn from their children however the relationship is already more weighted on the parent providing the education. This dynamic changed very quickly.

This entire article is a testament to this lesson, All the lessons I have learnt from Ash could have been missed because off my blind spot, looking at her age instead of her maturity and experiences. 

Lesson 4- You cant change your circumstances the only thing you can change is how you chose to deal with it.

This is abit heart-breaking yet so inspiring.

Ash has a chronic condition which means she's in constant pain.

Yes, for someone like me who complains about a knot in my shoulder its humbling to see someone who gets up every morning and no matter how they feel they get dressed and show up. Much respect to everyone who doesn’t let their circumstances dictate how their life turns out…that’s a story for our nation.

We all have bad days and unfortunately for many people there are more bad than good. If many of us have more good days than bad, do we really have a reason not to get pass them and make the most of each day.

Ash, I see how brave you are…and it inspires me every day…

Lesson 5-Just do you, boo!

This for me was the most impactful lesson I have learnt from birth to date. Its about not focusing on what people expect of you but rather you understand what YOU expect of you and focus on that.

It is about being who you are and understanding its more than enough. This is not a licence to be unkind but an opportunity to be the best version of you. I also realised that as much as you need “to do you”…you need to respect that people around you need “to do them”.

Sometimes that causes conflict because we all different but if we respect each other this can be overcome.

As I write this article I am humbled by the last four weeks but more than anything, I am inspired to make an impact everyday…good day or bad day…

So, keep your eyes open for your Ash, you wouldn’t want to miss all the life lessons she has to share!

Until the next time we meet,

Just do you, boo!

Marshy

1 July 2019