Just Breathe

We hear it all the time. Just breathe. But what if, in that moment, right then we can't breathe, because we are drowning beneath the onslaught of thoughts and feelings that keep coming at us?

Similarly to fighting a strong armored dragon with a carrot, it's just not possible to 'win'. So maybe, just maybe, we need to give in? But what does that mean? Give in sounds so vulnerable doesn't it? Like we are just allowing all those thoughts and feelings to clamber on top of us and live there like a tonne of bricks, slowly taking the breath out of us.

What if, instead of letting them clamber all over us, we simply let them be right there in front of us like a chatty radio playing in the background in the kitchen? Or the patter of rain that wakes us at night but that we eventually fall back asleep to. What if, instead of feeling angry, frustrated and irritated by the onslaught of negative thoughts we recognise that, in that moment, our cognition has gone into hiding. Our brain is trying to protect us by switching to fight flight mode. So, we sit on that incredibly rocky boat that's making us feel queasy, hug our knees in tight, breathe and comfort ourselves.

Compassion. It is a word that so many of us use for others but not on ourselves. It's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of negative, exhausting, self-judging. But so much harder to get out. So let's sit down there for a while. Surrounded by the darkness and chatter, wrap our arms around ourselves and breathe.

Because, when we learn to be compassionate with ourselves, learn to calm and regulate in those moments of chaos, we have more ability to recognise when we are starting to fall. And we can catch ourselves.