Just Ask Me The Damn Question

Dominators Despise Surveys. 

I'm about to go to Tulsa (home of the Golden Hurricane -- as if Oklahoma's ever had a hurricane) for a conference. When I get back on Sunday, I know what'll be waiting for me in my inbox: A survey from my hotel and another from my airline.

They'll head straight to my trash box, where they'll keep hundreds of others company. 

Dominators don't rely on surveys to gather customer intel. I hope you don't. 

Think, for just a moment, about the utter absurdity of receiving a survey from a hotel. You've seen them, so you know what they're like -- very long and detailed, (our time apparently means nothing to the folks sending them) asking us to give feedback on pretty much every conceivable element of our stay. But that's not why I believe filling them out is a total waste of energy. I ignore them because I know there's nothing I can say and no feedback I can provide that will in any way impact my next stay, or anybody else's. I used to fill them out and got the same results every time. So there's nothing in it for me. Nothing. 

Now think of it this way: They're essentially asking me what I would have liked to see them do better after I've left. When there's nothing they can do to rectify whatever problems I experienced when I was on-site. 

That's pretty screwed up, wouldn't you say?. From a domination standpoint, they're looking in the wrong direction.

I'm picking on hotels here only because they're a familiar target. I know you'll see parallels here to pretty much every industry, yours included.

Now dig this: While volunteering with Harley-Davidson's demo motorcycle fleet somewhere back in the early 90s, I made a great accidental discovery: 100 percent of us, when asked a question by someone standing right in front of us, will answer the damn question. Every time. What's considered a good rate of return on an emailed survey? Ten percent? That should be a joke, but it's not. 

Think about hotels again. What would be wrong with requiring hotel employees, from all functions, to actively ask their guests simple questions when they pass in the hall or share an elevator? Here's an obvious one: "What can I do for you to make your stay more delightful?" What might that do?

First, I'd probably die of shock by being asked the question, but second I'd light up immediately. "You can replace the dead batteries in my TV remote," (a problem I run into almost weekly). Or, "You can haul away that disgusting room service tray that's been sitting in the hall outside my door that somebody dumped there last night."

And then -- this is the really good, dominance-focused part -- I could see that employee remedy my problem. 

Imagine the impact of a bell-hop running fresh batteries up to your room, installing them and saying, "Thanks for bringing this to our attention. Please enjoy an on-demand movie on the house." Uh. Wow. Or, "Thanks for telling me about that tray. I brought you a few free bottles of water to make your stay better." You'd remember that next time you were choosing a hotel, wouldn't you? 

Of course hotels do ask for feedback when we're on site. At the worst possible time, though. Asking, "How was your stay?" while I'm checking out is the useless equivalent of retail cashiers asking, "Find everything you were looking for?" Uh. I'm leaving. What is it you're going to do for me now? I'm supposed to wait and tell you about my problems when there are people in line behind me? Again, screwed up. The last thing you want me to remember about our time together is the stuff I'm not happy about?

Companies that claim, "We listen" or "We care" or "We're customer driven" need to know that unless customers and other important publics routinely see them listening, caring and acting, they're just blowing smoke. 

Think R&R: What do we want the people we serve to remember and repeat? That we sent a survey, or that we actively solicited their input and showed our willingness to please? 

The time to seek customer input couldn't be more obvious. 

Think of it this way: Should the point of gathering customer intel be gathering customer intel? Or should it be showing the people we serve that we very much value them and are busting our butts to show them we're acting on what they say so we can better serve and delight them? The focus needs to be outward, not inward. 

And all I can say about Net Promoter Scores ("How likely would you be to recommend XYZ Company to a friend?") is they can be useful when used properly, as, I believe, they once were. Now all I see is sandbagging. Gimme a break. If more customers say they'd recommend us than not, what does that tell us? How will we know if they actually did?

PS: Swear to God. Just got an email from my credit card provider, based on a "potential fraud" call I received this morning. Based on that 30 second conversation, they're asking me to rank on a scale of 1 through 9 how likely I'd be to recommend them to friends and family. The fun never ends. 

Stay tuned.