Questions are difficult. Questions are also vital. Questions have the power to be life altering, like popping "the question" to your significant other. The right questions can save you from hours of re-work and frustration as you go through a project or process requiring specific steps. In fact, there are such things as million dollar questions that can over time save companies hundreds, thousands, or beyond in dollars on their bottom line. Asking the right, impactful questions is an art that comes over time through experience and fearlessness.
Growing up, I recall teachers encouraging students to ask more questions with statements such as, "there are no dumb questions" or, "the only stupid question is the one not asked". These old adages were intended to promote students to ask questions to help them understand, but the laughing and sneering from peers caused near petrification. My arm at times was too heavy to raise for fear of asking the wrong question that annoyed my classmates and peers.
In other scenarios my teacher would ask me why I didn't ask questions when I received a poor grade on a test. It was often my experience that I believed I had sufficiently understood the material to do well on the test. It's truly a thin line we toe at times between asking mediocre questions that annoy our peers and not asking enough questions to truly understand the key concepts. I do not fault my teachers, but fast forward into the workforce and asking questions is still a difficult endeavor. Or is it? I believe that it doesn't have to be hard, but like so many other things it requires practice to ask the right questions.
Too often we fear that asking questions in the workplace will send rising smoke signals to leadership that we're incompetent and unable to perform in our current role and therefore blackballing ourselves onto an imaginary list of people who will never make it in life. On the contrary, asking meaningful questions will gain positive attention from those we attribute so much power and influence to save our careers and thrust us onto the successful, high potential category list. Like it or not, these lists do actually exist at some companies, but the truth is that you own your career. There are significant players who will be your cheerleaders and can mentor you along the way, but you are the one showing up, so make the most of every opportunity and treat each day and each interaction as a preparatory interview for your future.
Using that last thought of treating every day and interaction as a pseudo interview for your future, there are six rules to asking questions that I would recommend:
- Do not ask a question you already know the answer to unless you are quickly confirming your understanding of something just shared. You do not have to always be heard in every meeting. If that is the true reason behind asking the question, don't ask the question. Questions should be effectively used to gain understanding to improve oneself or the way to accomplish something. When you ask a question that you already know the answer to, you are setting yourself up to annoy everyone involved, waste time, and potentially get an unexpected answer that will either confuse you or cause an unnecessary conflict between you and the presenter of the information. The exception to this rule is when you just learned something new and you want to confirm you're correctly understanding the material. In this case, preface that you want to confirm your understanding and ask the question in a manner that allows for a quick yes or no response so everyone can continue moving forward.
- If you are teaching or training a principle and want to enrich the process with effective questions to gauge understanding, NEVER ask a question about something before you teach the material. The problem with asking a question about something before you teach at least the basics sets up a terrible environment for the learner(s). Your intention may be harmless, but it can cause anyone involved unfamiliar with the subject to feel inferior and cause unneeded anxiety about the learning process. If I ask you to tell me your understanding of a bivariate distribution, it can cause anyone not familiar with this statistics term uneasiness about what is being presented. In addition, anyone still struggling with their grade school fear of publicly asking questions may get through the discussion with more questions than answers. On the flip side of this situation, anyone who already knows the material being shared becomes more likely to tune out the rest of the conversation and potentially miss pertinent information because they assume they already know all there is to know.
- It's always a good idea to ask "why", but not always good to challenge someone out loud. In my Lean Six Sigma training we discussed the 5 Why method. In short, when you are reviewing a current process you should ask why you do that step or the process at all. Upon receiving a response you quickly ask why that is the response and continue until, as a rule of thumb, you have asked why five times to understand the root cause of the whole process or step. Using that new found understanding, you can then identify gaps and better ways of thinking about a process to improve the current state.
Asking why is great, when you are collectively working to improve a process. As a father, I'm constantly asked this question by inquisitive children trying to usurp my authority and achieve their own end goal. Don't do this to your leader as they are presenting their new vision and strategy to the whole organization. If you are not understanding the "why" behind the what, then either setup time privately to professionally talk through your thoughts to help get yourself on board or ask a probing question with enough supportive information to better understand the new direction. In short, gain understanding and don't challenge.
- Prepare yourself and the audience. When I asked my now wife to marry me, I was utterly terrified. There was no good reason to be nervous, despite our short time dating we had both felt like we were meant to be married and shared those feelings with one another. Despite the conversations leading up to the big event and her mother airing my little surprise too early, I was scared she would have a change of heart. Asking the questions that matter may feel daunting and a little scary, but that shouldn't deter you from asking them anyway. Prepare yourself by thinking through what you want to say, how you want to say it, and think through the potential responses to your question and be prepared with supportive data for your positioning. All of that said, do not allow your questions to come in from left field. Timing is important, so be sure your question is relevant to the conversation and doesn't catch everyone off guard. That leaves someone unprepared for the discussion and may not give you the results you desire. If you missed your chance in real-time, set-up time specific for the conversation you want to have and share some initial thoughts or an agenda outline for the conversation a day ahead of time to allow both parties to be ready for constructive dialogue.
- Take time to ask, "what if" and dream a little. The chemist, Harry Gray is credited for saying, "No one ever achieved greatness by playing it safe". There is opportunity all around us, it just requires the imagination to ask "what if" and dream up new possibilities, then the time, energy, and effort to commit to making new things possible. If we never challenged the status quo, Columbus never would have made it to the Americas, we wouldn't have TV, man wouldn't make it to space, etc. Look for new, innovative ideas and then share your idea with others to collaborate and make new possibilities become reality.
- When in doubt, "just ask". Too often we assume the answer is no or not yet, or some other iteration that devalues the question. If it's on your mind and in the realm of possibility, just ask the question. If an opportunity arises that interests you but you don't have the right experience, ask "why not me". Putting yourself out there triggers for all present your interest in new opportunities and experiences. While you may hear the response "not yet", it's likely to give you the future experiences to prepare you for the next time opportunity knocks.
This article came about when I screwed up a grocery order. The digital coupon allowed for five discounted items and the store only had three. Not wanting to be "that guy" I took two of the three items and happily returned home with most of the desired grocery list. That's when it happened. My wife kindly explained that the discount is limited to five items and the digital coupon is single use, meaning I just lost us three reduced price items. Not wanting to disappoint anyone, especially my wife, I went out later that evening to a different location of that same grocery store and they had the product in stock with the advertised discount available on the digital coupon. When everything rang up, I kindly explained my fiasco to the clerk who happily adjusted the item price and sent me on my way.
Most people wouldn't ask the question for fear or assumption they already know the response. When we ask the right questions in the right manner, great things can happen, including being a hero for your spouse! You control your career and future. Identify what is your passion and absorb all the knowledge and experience you can to prepare yourself to move into a role that fits that passion. Asking great questions along the way will accelerate that growth.
