Just Another Number

I had an experience recently that, in my estimation, happens all too often in our modern world of zeros and ones. Sadly, it illustrates beautifully the deficit of character growing in our society, like a malignant tumor of self absorbed blindness and indignation disfiguring and destroying our ability to build meaningful relationships before they ever have a chance to bud, bloom and flourish. This does not bode well for any of us who wish to make meaningful contributions to one another or the worldwide community.

I received an unsolicited request to connect through a well known professional social media site. Since I receive nine to ten such requests each day this wasn’t unusual in and of itself. Most often when I receive a social media request it isn’t accompanied by a reason as to why, so what was unique about this particular request is the accompanying personal note which assured me of how they would love to connect, and how they’d enjoy hearing more about how I go about making connections with others. I took this as a positive sign and sent them a personal thank you along with a question as to why they wished to connect with me specifically.

Soon after I received a pleasant but obvious sales pitch for a system that would “teach” me how to find new clients and win new business. Being someone who does their homework I was aware that the individual who sent me this pitch is apparently not as well connected, as I am, at least not in the areas of expertise and with the people I have selected as my demographic market for what I offer. No worries. I like connecting with folks who have something to offer. After all; one never knows when they might be able to pass important and meaningful information on to someone else who may benefit from it.

I sent a reply that politely informed my new connection, who again assured me they would love to connect with me, that I had created my own system for finding leads. I let them know that I appreciated their offer and I was certain we could learn something from one another. As is my habit I also sent them a link to my inspirational blog, #thedailychalkboard, with a note that I hoped it would serve to be a positive read and make their day a good one.

This morning I received a one word reply, not uncommon in our world of rapid fire ones and zeros; “Thanks”. Okay, I get that. It’s the easy way out and people are busy. I’m busy myself. We’re all busy these days. Then I noticed that this person, who assured me that they would love to connect and help me connect with others, had disconnected them self from me! I find this rather ironic coming from an individual who pitches a system for “finding new clients and winning new business”. They didn’t win my business because they didn’t do anything compelling enough to earn my trust. It makes me wonder what their advice is to folks for becoming a trusted asset to clients and a solution to their needs. Obviously there was no attempt to discover what my needs are or to gain my trust.

I’m not bitter about this experience. I could be and it's the usual social media reaction these days. In fact, I feel quite the opposite actually. I truly want to thank this person for giving me something meaningful and important to write about. This is precisely the reason I title my articles under the heading “Intellectual Lemonade”. It’s all about taking a situation that would otherwise be perceived as a negative and creating something positive from it. So, officially, I want to thank you John. You truly helped me in ways you probably were never even aware of. I hope this article, should you choose to read it, since we’re no longer connected, will help you gain a little insight into how you might potentially improve your disingenuous cold call approach to others. Regardless, I do sincerely wish you well.

My experience is not unique by any means. Often we hear and read stories about how customers, clients, friends, family members, potential connections, private, commercial and social, are disappointed due to lack of good service, good communication or due to impersonal treatment. It’s gotten to the point these days where not only is there a lack of meaningful and polite connection between two acquaintances, strangers or business associates but when it does happen it goes by literally unnoticed and unrecognized. We have deadened our ability to comprehend and react appropriately to acts of kindness, politeness, forgiveness and those small signs of pleasant human interaction.

So what’s the answer? How do we break the freefall of treating those around us like zeros and turn into the ones who make a positive and meaningful difference in other’s lives? I’ve got some thoughts I’ll share with you.

• Go out of your way to care. Literally do what others don’t or won’t do. People will eventually notice. Even if they don’t, you’ve done the right thing.
• Do at least one positive thing for a stranger or casual acquaintance each day. If you make this your goal it will eventually turn into a good habit.
• Smile more often. You may think I’m nuts, but if you make a habit of smiling, it will change your outlook on life for the better. Besides, when you smile, people will begin wondering why. It’s a great icebreaker and a way to start a positive conversation.
• If you want to know the only secret you’ll ever need to know to be a success at networking and connecting, read the tip above this one.
• You are a sales person. Don’t kid yourself. Every one of us on this planet is a sales person in one form or another. You have to be willing and able to sell who you are and why, in an honest, truthful and relatable way, if you are going to reach your goals.
• You are a teacher. Every person on this earth is both a sales person and a teacher. Someone is always watching what we do, say, and how we act and react. Strive to become the most positive and inspirational teacher you possibly can. We desperately need more excellent teachers.
• Find your Smile and pursue it. Pursue it with a passion that knows no bounds! Not sure what your Smile is yet? You’re not alone. It's estimated that well over eighty percent of the working class in the United States doesn’t know what it is either, and as a consequences, are unhappy and unfulfilled in the work they have chosen to pursue for a living. Isn’t it time you found yours?
• If you don’t know what I mean by “finding your Smile”, feel free to ask me.
• Share this article with others. Not because I wrote it, but because you believe it may make a difference. I’m not the only voice screaming this from my fingertips to your eyes. Realistically if you don’t share it who will?

No one wants to be treated like just another number. It’s degrading, impersonal and dangerous to the mental, physical, social and spiritual fabric of our society. In closing I’d just like to state for the record that with each opportunity you have to touch another human being in some way you have an obligation to make it as positive and meaningfully pleasant and uplifting as you can. The person who created the experience which lead me to write this article told me they would love to find out more about me. However, they apparently were not concerned about my background, gaining my trust, my personal needs or the ability to potentially make both of our lives better through a meaningful connection. Or, possibly, they were just having a bad day. I’ll let you decide.

#michaelddavis

?2018 Michael D. Davis All Rights Reserved.

Michael D. Davis is a communicator by vocation, a mentor by avocation and a social media maven by choice. His work can be found on popular channels on the web and on his blog at https://thedailychalkboard.tumblr.com/ Michael welcomes your comments and invites you to join him. Just Google #michaelddavis or #thedailychalkboard to find him and request to connect.