Just add alcohol?

Drinking might be an excellent way to overcome your inhibitions socially after hours, but if it’s your only coping mechanism, you need to think again.

I recently did a slightly controversial poll on LinkedIn over whether Introverts often rely on alcohol to overcome their insecurities in social settings. Granted, only 7 people responded, but out of those 7 only 1 person strongly disagreed, the majority saying it was somewhat true. Considering this post had 648 views, I would have thought that had more people strongly disagreed, they would have taken a second to vote against it. Agreeing, I would imagine, is more controversial than disagreeing, don’t you think?

So, is it true? And, if it is what exactly does that mean about us and the society we live in, that we feel the need to rely on a substance to overcome our insecurities rather than tackle the insecurity head on?

The answer I believe is in social norms. I’d say that alcohol is the quickest, easiest, cheapest, and most available solution, not to mention also being relatively pain free (many would even say pleasurable) and socially acceptable solution to a certain point, particularly for evening events. Let’s face it alcohol has been used to gain courage and ‘deaden the pain’ of many upcoming events for hundreds of years, even being used as the main painkiller used in surgery during the 19th century

But what do you do when this is your coping mechanism for overcoming your insecurity speaking speaking to groups of people, but now you’re in a position where you need to start becoming more confident talking to people not just in bars and at parties but at work?

What do you do when you need to become more visible at work and start speaking up in meetings and even presenting in English at work as an introverted non-native speaker? Suddenly, the problem is much bigger, and when the only solutions known to us are, daytime drinking, high anxiety, or avoidance we risk ruining our health as well as our relationships and our careers.

Avoidance is probably the favourite option, if something stresses you and doesn’t ‘fit’ with who you are, avoiding it seems logical. But at what cost? Certainly, lack of respect and recognition, lack of? promotion at work possibly even leading to bitterness, regret and resentment as others get promoted above you.

Those who can’t avoid the spotlight any longer and who end up in a position where increased visibility is part of the job, tend to resign themselves to their fate. Acute symptoms leading to chronic high levels of adrenaline and cortisol levels and their negative impact on health.

So what’s the answer?

How about overcoming the insecurity, discomfort and fear at it’s root cause?

Wouldn’t that seem logical?

That’s what I help my clients with and why working with me is so much more effective than just taking more language classes or learning more vocabulary.

Here’s how I help my clients do just that:

• Name the fear

Understand what it is, where it comes from and what it’s protecting you from

Change your relationship with both the fear and the cause of the fear

• Identify the triggers

Develop ways to either remove the triggers or manage the effect of the trigger

• Redesign how you want to be in the situation

Identify qualities that would be helpful

Develop ways to bring these qualities into your conversations in English

• Build confidence

Build practices into your daily routine to increase confidence which will enable you to easily switch into ‘presenter’ or 'communication' mode as required without going into panic or overwhelm

• Devise an emergency strategy for calming down an regaining control if necessary.

• Plan for future events, to ensure success not failure

I’m Louise I've spent over 20 years teaching English and coaching predominantly within Pharma and Biotech.? I now help non-native introverted?scientists find ways to stop overthinking and start speaking up without going into overwhelm so that they can start advancing their careers and getting the recognition they deserve and desire.

DM me to arrange a discovery call to see how we might work together to achieve your goals.

?#biotech #pharma #scientist #businessenglish #oncology

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