Juneteenth: time to think

I don’t know if I should write this, or what I should write. Let’s give it a go, as putting my thoughts down on paper helps distil what I’m thinking and gives me a focus. If it provokes discussion or a reaction in you the reader, even better.

IN THE END… We only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

– Lewis Carroll

I like reading other people’s stories and opinions, so hope this contributes to the discussion happening around the world. I don’t want this to be about me, but I can only speak from my frame of reference and my experience. I realise it’s biased, privileged and not everyone’s experience. My hope is not to unintentionally offend someone, make wild assumptions or state stereotypes.

Every year, the Oxford English Dictionary releases a list of new words. We’ve all added new words to our brains over recent years: Brexit (hard or soft?), backstop, fiscal space, herd immunity, MAGA, immunology, VAR, TUE, sub-2.

JUNETEENTH

Now I can add “Juneteenth.” A day I’d never heard of, nor cared for before. Black emancipation in the USA, celebrating an event in Texas over 150 years ago. We learn about Catholic emancipation at school in Ireland, and the achievements of Daniel O’Connell. So what happened in America? I barely understand what the US Civil War was about. Who were the Confederates? Why do Cork people fly the flag at matches in Páirc úi Chaoimh? Who were the slave owners (some Irish I’m sure) and who were the slaves?

Well now we’re hearing the stories of their descendants. American citizens. Real people. It’s been hard to listen to. I’ve watched some TV but mostly heard stories through work. Talking to colleagues in Seattle, Reno and elsewhere. Their stories of how it affected them, talking to their black friends, who’ve had to live with this discrimination all their lives.

I know it’s a bit rich to suddenly wake up and start acting concerned. But I just didn’t realise the extent of systematic, societal and cultural discrimination that continues to exist today, in 2020. I thought MLK and Rosa Parkes and Selma was history, not contemporary. But what they fought for still rings true.

It made me question what’s happening in Ireland, in my city, in my workplace, amongst my friends and social groups. Of course there’s daily discrimination to all sorts of groups. Often it’s subtle, implicit, not verbalised but it’s there, if we just go looking. Microaggressions is the new term I’ve learnt.

So what can I do to make the country and society I live in a better and more equal place?

TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE

Just stop talking and giving my opinions is one way. Today Microsoft gave us time (a full day) at work to consider this whole area. I used it to listen, learn and try to understand. I like the quote “listen with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply.” Be uncomfortable with my own beliefs and empathetic to the plight of others.

BE UNCOMFORTABLE

Seek out uncomfortable conversations from time to time. Not to be confrontational or argumentative, but to listen to someone tell their story. Don’t express your sympathy, but try to have empathy. Be with them, just sit and accept what they are saying, don’t counter it or offer your version or experience.

READ AND LEARN

The book club at work has chosen a book which I’m looking forward to getting into (So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo). I will follow new people on social media from outside my social circle or sphere of knowledge. I’ll continue to read new blogs, follow people on LinkedIn and read analysis in respected media and newspapers.

Just today I’ve seen so much impactful stuff from Tyler Perry’s video, Luvvie Ajayi on TED, Kate Johnson on LinkedIn, Megan Carpenter, the movie Just Mercy and much more.

CALL IT OUT

If I see discrimination, feeling stronger to call it out. Learning how to do that in an appropriate way is hard. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, damage relationships at times, but maybe it’s better to try and change things, than say nothing and just shrug my shoulders thinking “He didn’t mean it like that” or “He’s not racist/sexist/narrow minded.”

MICROAGGRESSIONS

Learning about microaggressions has been most impactful. I’m not sharing links here, but a quick search of Youtube, Twitter or online articles will give you the idea.

At work, hearing stories from people get comments about the quality of their English (even if they’re native speakers from Zimbabwe), people asking “where are you really from?” (even if they’re Irish in Ireland) or how people cross the street or softly hold their handbag that bit tighter when they see you on the street (even if you’re a senior director in a multinational company).

I see that in Ireland, in my life. Not being able to pronounce Indian or Polish names, just because they’re hard to say (well, we manage Gaelic names like Aoibheann or Diarmuid, so how about we try harder to say Michal instead of “Mike”). Even worse, the culture of Asian people adopting an English name, just because nobody will ever get their original beautiful name right.

GENDER EQUALITY IN SPORT

I also think about it in sports – which are male dominated. In Ireland, there have been good campaigns for gender equality. In the last 2 years the 20×20 campaign has been great to showcase female sportstars and amazing athletes. The idea of “if she can’t see it, she can’t be it” rings true.

I’m now so much more conscious when organising events at work or triathlon races to ensure the promotional imagery is balanced and reflective of the community, not a bunch of well toned men with stern faces.

The duathlon races we organise are over 70% male, so how can we encourage more than 3 out of 10 women to take part? I asked a female clubmate why she didn’t take part and her response sticks in my mind “Way too much testosterone there.”

Get more females involved in organising maybe, feature women equally (or perhaps predominantly) in media promotion, tell the stories of women, don’t have men’s results first on the results page, ask photographers to balance photos of competitors (you inevitably get more men in photos), have separate female only waves which go first.

LEARNING FROM MISTAKES

Someone (much more aware) pulled me up on it at work a few years ago, when I hosted a hackathon on how to improve the experience of new hires moving to Ireland for work. While I thought the session went well, this person thought otherwise when they saw the photo on the screens.

A group of white men (all German or Austrian as it happened) contributed to give their views, so obviously that’s going to skew the results, if we don’t reflect the 70+ nationalities and backgrounds that work in our office.

If you were new to Ireland, but a Muslim woman from Egypt, would you relate to that photo and want to learn more? Again, that wasn’t intentional to exclude, but maybe I don’t invite attendees in an appropriate way, or go beyond my existing network to encourage participation.

I’LL LEAVE IT THERE

There’s so much more on my mind, but maybe I’ll save that for a more distilled, thoughtful blog. I would encourage you to read, listen, talk – just to see it from someone else’s shoes.

The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we being to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom

– Bell Hooks

The quote below was about the inaction of ordinary people during the war, but it could apply to any situation in our world today. It’s not somebody else’s problem (the government, that crowd over there, them, the police, the system, the council, their parents, their friends). Personal responsibility is all we can stand up for. Make it count in whatever way you can. One small step.

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

– Martin Niem?ller