June Highlights of Blue Star Families’ Campaign for Inclusion DEPLOY Fellows

Celebrating diversity and acknowledging historical significance are crucial aspects of fostering an inclusive community. This June, as we observe Juneteenth, Pride Month, and PTSD Awareness Month, we consider the unique experiences and challenges faced by our diverse military families. By reflecting on what this month means to us, we honor the rich history and resilience of the African American community, support the visibility and rights of the queer individuals, and advocate for mental health awareness. As you celebrate all June has to offer, we encourage you to use this month as an opportunity to foster understanding, unity, and compassion, as we work together to promote equity and inclusion for all.?

Embracing Juneteenth: A Celebration of Culture, Resilience, and Freedom

For me, this time of year is revered in my culture. It’s the gathering together, the big cultural barbeque filled with stories of the old days. It’s the laughs, it’s where black girls rock and black boy joy thrives! It must be Juneteenth, easily becoming one of my favorite holidays! But beyond that, it’s the richness and pride of celebrating where we’ve come from and the continued hope of where we are headed as a people.

We celebrate Juneteenth on June 19th, which holds profound significance as it commemorates the end of slavery in the United States. This day marks when Union General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, Texas, in 1865, and announced the emancipation of enslaved African Americans, over two years after the Emancipation Proclamation had been issued by President Abraham Lincoln. This delay highlights the widespread resistance to emancipation and the continued suffering of enslaved people in the far reaches of the Confederacy. Juneteenth serves as a poignant reminder of the struggle for freedom and the resilience of African Americans in the face of systemic oppression.

The celebration of Juneteenth is essential for acknowledging a critical chapter in American history that has often been overlooked. It provides an opportunity for all Americans to reflect on the nation's past, particularly the brutal legacy of slavery and its lasting impact on African American communities. By commemorating this day, we honor the lives and contributions of those who endured slavery and those who fought tirelessly for freedom and equality. It is a time to recognize the injustices of the past and to educate future generations about the significance of this historic event.

Juneteenth also underscores the ongoing journey toward racial equity and justice. While it marks the end of legal slavery, the day also reminds us that the fight for true equality continues. The legacies of slavery, such as systemic racism, economic disparities, and social injustices, still affect African American communities today. Celebrating Juneteenth encourages dialogue and action toward addressing these enduring inequalities, fostering a collective commitment to creating a more just and inclusive society.

Juneteenth is a celebration of African American culture and heritage. It is a day filled with joyous activities, including parades, music, dancing, and communal meals, reflecting the rich cultural traditions of African American communities. These celebrations are not only a tribute to the past but also a testament to the strength, creativity, and contributions of African Americans to the nation's cultural fabric. By embracing Juneteenth, we celebrate the diversity that enriches the United States and affirm the value of every individual's freedom and dignity.

Marching in the D.C. Pride Parade: An Opportunity for Visibility for Our Queer Military Families

Happy Pride Month!

June holds a special place in my heart, marking not only a celebration of love and diversity but also a personal journey of self-discovery. My first encounter with Pride was in high school, where I stood as a strong ally. Over the years, through deep introspection, I realized that my passion for supporting the queer community stemmed from my own identity within it.

Growing up in a Marine family in the D.C. area, I was fortunate to have Veteran parents who were unwaveringly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. They often asked if I had a "boyfriend … or girlfriend," making it clear that my coming out as bisexual was no surprise to anyone. At 24, even with an exceptional support system in my family, friends, and partner, finding safe and affirming spaces to express my queerness remains a challenge. This is why my role as the lead for Blue Star Families' Spaces for Belonging program has been transformative and empowering. Spaces for Belonging provides a vital safe haven for LGBTQ+ youth and their military families, offering support and a sense of community.

This past Saturday, I had the distinct honor of organizing 40 queer military families to march in the D.C. Pride Parade. It was a profound moment for visibility, as we were the only group marching for queer youth within the military community. This program underscores the importance of providing safe spaces for children to express their identities, despite the prevailing hesitations about exposing youth to LGBTQ+ topics. Witnessing these families march together at Pride was a powerful testament to the strength and resilience of our community. I feel incredibly honored to work for an organization that allows me to do this work to improve the quality of life for our diverse military families.

?As we celebrate Pride Month, I encourage everyone to educate themselves on the queer community, and how to best support our LGBTQ+ military families. Together, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate world for everyone.

Having PRIDE and Support in the Journey of Parenthood

As a military family, we regularly relocate. My family's move to the D.C. area two years ago impacted both my children, particularly my eldest. They were 11 at the time, just starting 7th grade, and they were, and still are, at an age where they are figuring out who they are. That year, my child came out as part of the trans community, and the 2022-2023 academic year was not kind to them. My husband and I wanted them to feel loved and supported, so we took them to the 2023 D.C. Pride Parade. While they enjoyed themself, you could still see the sadness behind their eyes; they weren't smiling.?

This year, I had the opportunity to have my eldest child march in the 2024 D.C. Pride Parade. The experience was entirely different compared to last year. They were smiling. They were confident in themself. They were happy. This academic year was completely different from the previous year. It was a lot of work to get to where they are and even where we are as a family. I know we still have a lot of work to do to address past events, but we are well on our way to healing.

Military families like mine are not always lucky when it comes to support in a new area after a relocation. Our initial year and a half here was the most complex and challenging time we have faced as a family. Several things have changed compared to last year. We changed our child’s schools, which helped them, but we also found our support system in friendship as a family unit. The friends we have made have been instrumental in our child's healing. We go to each other's houses on the weekends, sing karaoke, and have barbecues or a potluck dinner at least once a month. We play board games, and our children all have fun together; we have found people who accept our family unit as we are.

We are lucky that we live in the D.C. area, where my child is accepted, but I know people who live in states where legislation is being passed that is not friendly to LGBTQ+ youth and their families. My husband and I are Texas residents, which is a state that has passed a lot of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. Thankfully, we are from a major city in Texas that tends to be very inclusive, but that doesn't negate our concerns when planning visits home to see our family. I cannot emphasize enough how having a fantastic support system makes all the difference. Even in Texas, family and friends celebrate my eldest and who they are. I cannot ask for a better support system, and I hope everyone has someone who can be what so many have become for my family. Finally, let us ensure love continues to win. Happy Pride, everyone!

Turning Safe Spaces Into Better Financial Health

When I was a military financial counselor, one of the greatest compliments I could ever receive from a client was hearing that my office felt like a "safe space." For many, just the thought of sitting down and talking about their finances brought its own sense of stress. However, for the clients I served who were part of the LGBTQ+ military community, there was often another layer of discomfort stemming from the fear of being tolerated yet not fully welcomed. I still cherish those who felt they could sit with me in their times of need, even when no financially-related questions came to mind.?

?While I cannot fully relate to what my clients may have experienced, I grew up witnessing the unfortunate consequences of a child not being accepted at home. Seeing a loved one endure mistreatment from others while exploring their identity has been a driving force behind my desire to share well-deserved respect and support with those I meet today.?

I have come to realize that many children who choose to come out to their families may be banished from their homes before they turn 18. Being cast out as a child can mean losing both the emotional and financial safety net that a family should provide. Without support from their families, many LGBTQ+ youth are often forced to become financially independent at a young age, leading to challenges such as homelessness, limited education, and restricted job opportunities. These hardships can result in accumulating debt, difficulty in building savings, and limited access to financial resources. Furthermore, the emotional and psychological stress of rejection can lead to mental health struggles, which can further complicate financial stability.

I love the work that our National Capital Region Fellow, Angie, is doing with her Spaces for Belonging program. Military kids also deserve spaces where they can feel welcomed and supported. While financial health may not be at the forefront of the kids' minds, by helping them build community, I believe that they are also building a better foundation for their financial futures. Even beyond Pride Month, we can all do our part to create safe and inclusive environments that will benefit kids throughout their lives.?

From DADT to Acceptance: The Journey of LGBTQ+ Rights in the U.S. Military

The LGBTQ+ community has faced numerous challenges while fighting for equal rights in our country, including battles within the U.S. military. In 1994, the U.S. adopted "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (DADT) as the official federal policy on military service by lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals. This discriminatory rule prevented service members from being openly queer under the threat of discharge. DADT was based on the assumption that the presence of LGBTQ+ individuals in any branch of the military would undermine the ability of others to carry out their duties. Throughout the policy's existence, thousands of brave service members were discharged simply for who they were and whom they loved.

During my time in the military, I witnessed numerous policy and cultural changes. One of the most significant was the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in September 2011. LGBTQ+ service members understood that if they had come out, their careers would have ended. I had friends who were separated from military service due to the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy and fought to regain their status. Allowing service members to openly express themselves without fear of career ruin ensured that they knew their country, as well as their brothers and sisters in arms, had their backs.

As we celebrate Pride Month, let’s continue to fight for inclusion in all aspects of life.

Empower Month: Pride and PTSD

There is much to advocate for in June as it is both Pride and PTSD Awareness Month. This is a great opportunity to highlight the obstacles that many in the LGBTQ+ community have had to overcome and the trauma they have experienced in the fight for equity, inclusion, and empowerment. While many people, especially in the DEI space, recognize the significance of Pride Month, fewer may be aware that it is also PTSD Awareness Month.

As an ally advocating for everyone's right to be their true and authentic selves, I share in the unfortunate commonality that many in the LGBTQ+ community have: trauma. I have grappled with discussing my mental health challenges, but more than that, I have struggled with accepting them. Partially due to not wanting to be labeled, but also because I have often subscribed to the “fake it til you make it” mentality. Although society is making positive gains in focusing on mental health, the stigma is still there. I also suffer from anxiety, as many with PTSD do.?

I must admit that I was unaware that the Senate declared June as PTSD Awareness Month in 2014. There is irony in that, because many people struggling with trauma or mental illness, PTSD included, are not typically in any rush to discuss it.

I have become more comfortable over the past few years sharing my story, not for myself, but because I know that there are many others who have undergone similar experiences. Being in a military marriage added another layer of difficulty, as I had to cope with my emotions alone while my husband was away. I tried to avoid the PTSD label because I felt my experience couldn't measure up to those who have been in war or suffered abuse — those with “real” trauma. It took a long time to accept my own experience and begin my healing process.

Our second child was stillborn. She was diagnosed with a very rare chromosomal abnormality, so it was unlikely she would survive, but we had hope, which is why we named her Hope. Ironically, in discussing Pride Month, she only had one gender marker and was female, but this highlights that gender is not always black and white. My husband was away for training when she died. He came home for 48 hours for her birth but left after we took her to the funeral home. We were both forced to grieve on our own. With a toddler to care for, I mostly compartmentalized my feelings. I was sad, devastated in fact, but that was all that I allowed myself to feel. I was told that I had PTSD but brushed it off. I wasn’t given much guidance or support beyond being offered medication, which I did not want. It wasn’t until subsequent years and pregnancies that I realized I had a problem and was experiencing abnormal levels of anxiety.?

This past February marked 10 years since our daughter was stillborn. Over the past two years, I have undergone treatment that has been helpful for me. I still suffer from severe anxiety, but I recognize it and talk about it. I would be lying if I said I do not feel the stigma when I talk about it, but I do. I try to communicate with people so they know why I may act the way I do. Should I have to? No, but in advocating for myself, I am also advocating for others and helping to spread awareness that just because people may look okay, it does not mean they are not struggling.

It is also important to have these conversations so that we can advocate for more inclusive policies that ensure equal access to mental healthcare for those suffering from PTSD, including those in the LGBTQ+ community who are often marginalized and lack access to the services they need. This Pride Month and PTSD Awareness Month, let’s push for more inclusive mental health resources and support systems that understand and address the unique challenges faced by all individuals, especially those who are often overlooked.

By sharing our stories and advocating for inclusive mental health care, we can create a supportive environment for everyone. This dual focus in June gives us the chance to recognize and address the diverse experiences of trauma, ensuring that no one has to suffer in silence.