Jump Off The Coals

Four Steps to Help You Make the Leap

“I don’t know if I can do this.” These words are often uttered prior to someone attempting to walk across 900-degree hot coals for the first time. The ritual has a long history with the earliest recorded instances occurring in India in 1200 BC. It was used then and now as a test of an individual’s strength and courage, or in religion as an act of faith. For example, life coach Tony Robbins incorporates firewalking into a course entitled, “Unleash Your Power”, to help participants master their emotions and fears.

Much is made of the mental preparation required prior to firewalking. It is believed that the test is less in the walk itself and more in releasing one’s fear in advance. However, following a successful walk, many people not only celebrate their achievement, but they share a deep and profound sense of gratitude for living through such a trying emotional and physical experience. In other words, when are no longer walking across fire, we realize how much better it is not to be doing that anymore.

I often hear similar thoughts expressed when talking with clients about emerging from a painful divorce or a terrible job situation. While in a bad marriage or suffering through an unfulfilling work situation, we are walking on coals without the benefit of sufficient mental preparation. It’s just one long row of hot coals that keeps going, like some hellish conveyor belt. We can get so used to the continuous pain that we learn to simply suffer through it. We may begin to believe that the coals are just "how things are" and become numb. Even if we recognize the pain, we may fear the unknown of what it is like beyond the coals and so just keep walking along, feeling angry, sad, hopeless, victimized, or depressed.

In this situation, there are four important steps to help you jump off the fire walk:

1. ACCEPT AND ACKNOWLEDGE. The first and most important step is to objectively recognize that you are on the coals. List the reasons that the job or the relationship is uncomfortable or not serving you. Imagine yourself in a better situation and how much better that would feel. Then make a decision to change course.
2. REACH OUT TO OTHERS. Even if you aren't ready to fully delve into how you feel, don't isolate yourself. Connect with supportive friends and family. Seek out a support group. Sign up to volunteer. Find a therapist or a coach. Surround yourself with positive people who will remind you that life can be happy.
3. INVEST IN SELF CARE. Now is the time to treat yourself kindly. Listen to your favorite music. Exercise. Get a massage. Spend time meditating. Go on a hike at your favorite outdoor spot. Try smiling just for the heck of it - it will immediately make you feel better.
4. LOOK YOUR FEAR IN THE EYE. One of the most cited reasons we humans feel afraid is fear of uncertainty. Not knowing what is around the corner can often feel more frightening than the bad situation we may be in at the moment. Looking at your fear dispassionately and recognizing that it is holding you back from a better life will push you to take action.

When you finally make the decision to end your fire walk, there may initially be some residual fear and sadness for leaving behind what was known, but this is almost always followed by a huge sense of relief and gratitude. Having had experienced the pain makes not being in that state anymore so much sweeter. We can also be better prepared for future tests knowing what to expect and having greater faith in ourselves and our abilities.

Interested in learning more about how to jump off the coals??Schedule a free introductory call? or visit?crosstheroadcoaching.com .