This July 4th: Stand Up + Wave The ‘White’ Flag of Social Tolerance to Your Clients

It’s said: diversity comes from the inside, and doesn’t actually hinge on skin color. Where do your clients stand on this issue? Find out!? ?

Cranking open the conversation lid about social tolerance, inclusivity and diversity can be face-reddening in today’s America. Yet, today, it’s more important than ever to openly address these sensitive topics. KNOW that when you do so in a room filled with your clients, you can pick up some choice gems of opinion that have you learning something Real.?

Ahead of the upcoming July 4th weekend, nudge yourself to become a first-time diversity conversation enabler wherein you have people at least gently discuss jointly overcoming issues like racism and sexism in America today.?

Don’t be afraid to engage in some tolerance talk for a change!??

Do you have an interest in activism? Are you passionate about bridging divides between the different American races, sexes and opinionated groups? Would you like to help heal the obvious frictions in our country as we enter the month that happily celebrates July 4th??

DO know that powerful inclusion talk starts with a sincere vocalization of our interests and opinions as members of a group we strongly identify with — whether you be transgender, gay, straight, a feminist, a red-state kind of person, a blue-state kind of person, or other. There’s space for us all in this glorious nation!

Just below you’ll find five major points to learn of before you can successfully broach the topics of tolerance in the spaces where you work and live in. Our pointers below are certain to prop up your confidence levels regarding the talk.?

1. Work around the fear:

Most psychologists say the same thing — at the root of all our tolerance problems is fear. The kind that grips and runs deep. When you’re dealing with such a complex, primordial emotion, know that you should not charge yourself with directly defusing the fears of your clientele that can be directly traced to recent American uproars over race, sexism and other major, hot-button issues.

If you ever embrace the path of being an active defusing leader of, say, charged racial or sexist topics in America, KNOW your place: always opt to leave tough-and-difficult-to-process people you come across in the workspace well alone on their issues. At best, their issues can only be probed by true professionals tasked with dealing with the underlying primary emotion of fear that can lead to many problems in life. (Such professionals include qualified psychologists, social workers or inclusivity-trained teachers.)??

A key vital task, really — now that it’s a holiday open season to discuss or express our love for our nation — is to ponder the following question: how about starting a pro-activist revolution within your heart and mind? The kind that has you transform from a small seedling person who just wears the motto “Hope for True Tolerance” on her sleeve, to a confirmed diversity leader and role model to the world? It can happen.?

This beautiful metamorphosis can start with the mere baby step of owning and declaring the inclusion and diversity banner in your workspace — then maybe your greater community — so that the people around you know who to turn to when they’ve been subjected to intolerant, racist or sexist attacks or aggressions that span from the micro to the macro — when all of these can deeply hurt anybody!?

The first step? Easy! Again, we emphasize: repeatedly declare yourself an active supporter of diversity and repeatedly offer to be a healing point of contact for people who have suffered a recent sting of discrimination. By simply “opening your ears” and even offering a strong hug or two, along with strongly educated “solutional how-to” opinions (read our book recommendations below), you can deliver much-needed healing to Americans in need of this!?

[But, DO be prepared: People sometimes need affection-based contact, like strong hugs, when they accept wanting to emotionally heal from perceived attacks of intolerance, psychologists say.]?

Again, know your role, know your limitations: when the emotions packed in, say, a racism or sexist complaint are too thorny and complex for you to unpack, and said individual has his or her “blood up” — lashing out, even — DO be prepared to ultimately refer your contact to a true professional, say, a specialist civic expert of methods of non-violent communication, who could wish to probe and address the deeper lying issues of that individual.?

If you DON’T do this, you might be “biting a chunk more than you can chew,” and find yourself processing a major problem person who is too much for you. Plus, DO know it’s the right and appropriate thing to do.?

2. Try to monitor the conversation as a ‘bridge’ kind of person:

Know it: a lot of good-hearted people in America are downright eager for a real change towards Peace. By frequently pronouncing yourself as a ‘bridge’ of a person, and following best practices (read the recommended books below), this alone can be just what your clients need to hear to move from an ineffectual point of “Zero” — on the scale of supporting societal diversity and tolerance — to an open, visible point of “Hero.”?

People dream of overcoming their fears because they intrinsically know doing so would mean a richer, more fulfilling life — one where obstacles can be dissipated easily, like a cloud in the wind. By simply taking the time to discuss diversity with your clients — occasionally taking care to refer them to books pitching the nuts-and-bolts of tolerance and diversity (again, read the book recommendations below), you CAN do a LOT to help them overcome such fears by simply helping them vocalize their charged feelings or opinions over, say, discrimination in America, to you and other people, in your workspace of peers where you push the envelope of social tolerance and inclusion.?

Make them feel welcome to do so!?

3. Love talking about inclusion?

Are you charmed by the idea of becoming a diversity conversation enabler? DO persist in the practice of speaking about the topic every so often as a professional — when time and energy permits. When you find you are somewhat striking the right chords that promote a greater opening of minds, your clientele — finding out about your pro-activism — may love you more, and even happily tip you more, as a proud, inclusion-minded, fighting-for-greater-tolerance civically minded citizen — the kind of human being most Americans can certainly embrace this July 4th and beyond.?

So many heartily applaud even the smallest effort in this direction!?

4. Educating yourself is key to discussing or mediating for greater tolerance:

Strive to deeply drink the elixir of education! Know it: unread opinions just add to society’s problems. After picking up the introductory pro-tolerance books cited below, simply aim to micro-practice your self-appointed neutral position as a uniter. When you do so, you can gradually graduate to hot-button discussions with your most opinionated clients, if it is your desire to eventually do so.

If there’s mutual trust and respect, they will likely welcome the spirited debate! While respecting you more as a person to be valued.?

As you occasionally practice discussing/mediating on diversity topics, feeling readier and more experienced as time goes by, feel free to eventually “delve in” and discuss some testy issues with local strangers. According to surveys, such topics are highly “top of mind” at present to the average, everyday citizen of our country. (Help heal America!)?

Whether it’s #BlackLivesMatter, or even the #MeToo movement, such discussions are opportunities to offer your, hereafter, book-informed “solutional how-to’s” on coping with and talking about such matters.?

For example: one clearly awesome “solutional how-to” is to encourage people to volunteer and get their ugly, fear-based feelings off their chest through the healing powers of activism. Explore the available movements, and consider joining them yourself, first, to properly explore whether you CAN become a true community leader!?

5. A pick of books to get you started:

Oh, boy! (Or: oh, girl!) A stunning range of books presently exists on the controversial topics of diversity, inclusivity and tolerance in America, particularly on the Web. However, taking the step of simply reading ONE of a batch you find is a welcome start, and even half the battle, to fulfilling your self-appointed mission to make an impact on somebody. Anybody!?

To become more conversationally fluent in specific talks about race, we recommend: So You Want to Talk About Race, by Ijeoma Oluo. Another book that can whet your appetite for inclusivity topics, told from the perspectives of women of color, is: Minda Harts’s The Memo: What Women of Color Need to Know to Secure a Seat at The Table. For a good exploration of race, gender and identity, Jodi Patterson’s The Bold World can be right up your alley. For a generalized probing of active inclusivity, consider buying Dolly Chugh’s The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, today.

We hope our guiding confidence pointers above will help set you on the path of promoting greater inclusivity in America. Test the idea with a small circle of your most trusted friends today!?

Engaging in tolerance talk keeps you “Real”! Did you enjoy the piece above??

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Full Disclosure: The above-cited books were originally recommended by Daisy Auger-Dominguez, author of the title: Inclusion Revolution: The Essential Guide to Dismantling Racial Inequity in the Workplace. The recommendations appeared in a 2019 Harvard Business Review article authored by Auger-Dominguez. According to the piece, “Daisy has led human capital practices and diversity, equity and inclusion at Moody’s Investors Service, The Walt Disney Company, and Google, among other organizations.”