Juggling the Hats

I’ve had some really lovely and encouraging comments when I’ve told people that I'm training to become a therapist.?

You’ll be great at that, I can see that for you, You’ve got a great temperament for that. ??

All very much appreciated.?

And, I’ve also had friends who have paused, looked a little sideways, and asked if I’m going to start analysing them.?

I’ve completed the COSCA counselling skills certificate (which is what I’m currently reflecting on in these posts), and I’m 3 months into CBT diploma training (more of that to come). So, it’s still relatively early days.?

However, no-one has mentioned yet how we get our ‘therapist third sight’ fitted. ?I don’t know if it’s still a medical procedure or if it’s now in an app that we can download? ?Maybe I’ll find out next year, or maybe it’s at the end when we get inducted into the therapist Illuminati??

I get it. ?People assume that there’s some secret knowledge about the human condition that we become privy to. ?Sadly, no. ?We all still have our own stuff to deal with, and much of it is messy. ?The only difference is we recognise more of the mess, and we might have some ideas on how we could start tidying. ?That doesn’t mean that every therapist has a Swedish minimalist, feng-shui style existence. ?Far from it!?

This made me think about the topic of genuineness that I’ve talked about before. ?In that situation I was reflecting on how I can be genuine if I didn’t agree or support the attitudes someone was expressing.?

Similarly with friends, am I being genuine if I think I can help them when they are sharing their woes and struggles, but I don't say anything??

The answer (as it often is) is simply to ask them. ?If a friend is venting about life, work, kids, partner, the idiot that cut them up in traffic, just ask. ?Ask then who they want to talk to, Dave your mate or Dave the therapist? ??

In therapeutic conversations we try hard not to rescue people and stop them working through painful stuff. ?We also strive not to collude with people to endorse their perception of a situation or event. With our friends we do that all the time. ?It’s a basic part of the job description.?

So, I think that’s how I hold the line. ?If you're looking for a therapeutic perspective, I can slip that hat on and pull a few tools out of the bag (to mix a couple of metaphors). ?Or, if you just want to vent and moan about the boss, work, or the inequalities of life, then I’m here for that as well.?

I don't think this is much different to what we all do instinctively. ?We assess what our friends need most and do what we can to back them up.?