Judging parents is unfair and rarely based on truths - so stop it.

In my life, I have been glared at, stared at and “head-shook-at” because people have seen my son and me on our respective screens in a coffee shop.

Apparently, spending time with someone in this way (particularly a child) is a faux pas.

We cannot sit quietly in someone’s company (in public) unless we are working or reading a book.

But, I call out those who judge and say, “STOP.”

What you don’t see, is the hours of playing, racing, exploring, comforting, chatting and imagining that happened before.

You don’t see how kids, like adults, sometimes need to stop for a little to shut out the world.

You don’t see my son studying Japanese, practising his times-tables, building persistence, creating art, relaxing, having fun, or learning his cues to know when he has had enough.

You don’t see the times we go to coffee shops and chat, get out pen and paper, or have fun together.

You don’t see the next few hours when we go back to our lives, and my son plays with beads, teddies, balls, bells, blocks, and more.

You don’t see us baking together or reading together or playing together or chatting together.

You don’t see a mother connecting with rarely seen friends - instead, you view neglect.

You don’t see a person squeezing work into 30-minute “breaks” - instead, you view poor parenting.

You don’t see the days that go by with no screens.

You don’t see the weeks that go by with no coffee shops!

You don’t see me.

You don’t see my son

You don’t see us.

What you see is life on hold.

A pause. A break. One we both need.

We only see what we believe to be true, never the truth.

So, to those who judge, remember your judgements help no-one; they are only a symptom of your own insecurities. Cut it out and take a look at what it is about your life that needs fixing.

We are happy, thank you very much.