Judging others: Beyond right and wrong

Judging people is one of the physiological habits of the human body. We have scanned our environments for ages, and suddenly changing our biological wiring is no easy task, rather impossible. But the depth of ‘judgment’ has not been well understood by the society we live in. We have reached a point of evolution where judging others is considered misconduct. And what is more obnoxious is that we blame and hurt ourselves for judging others.

“Oh, I called her hot-headed! Maybe she was going through a rough patch in life! I should have been patient enough!”

“I am ashamed of blaming him for the project going wrong.”

These kinds of expressions have become quite normal in human gatherings. But do you notice a pattern in the above examples? We quickly turned our anger towards them into anger towards ourselves. We judged them ruthlessly, and we are judging ourselves even more ruthlessly for judging them. Hurting ourselves leads us to a state of self-pity and hatred. And we eventually find ourselves stuck in a judgment/shame spiral.?

The next question that pops up is: How do we get out of this? Here come peace and compassion. Peace is the remembrance of the fact that our “flaws” are universal and we have overwhelming moments that put us squarely in the category of humans. Compassion is giving others and ourselves a lot of grace and telling ourselves that these moments of annoyance don’t make anyone ungrateful. Both subjects can do things imperfectly and still be worthy of love.?

From a very young age, we are taught to be rational, analytical, and independent, which embeds judgment deeply in us. Hence, it can be challenging to be empathetic and critical simultaneously. But then we are all humans and work-in-progress. Aren’t we?

#selfcompassion #selflove #mentalhealth #mindset #personaldevelopment #kindness #empathy #wellbeing #communication #growthmindset