Judgement or Discernment? What's the Difference and Why Does it Matter?

We all have challenging people around us every day and find ourselves sitting in judgment of them. It might be a coworker who tries to control meetings, a good friend who talks over you, or maybe it’s a spouse that doesn’t complete household chores in the same manner you would. ?It’s much easier to get annoyed, lash out or correct them making it seem like we know better, but in the end you both lose because when we judge, we are acting in a way that makes us feel superior to the other person while making them feel inferior. We’ve all done it!

People often think that feeling superior equates to confidence. This is antithesis of confidence.

Confident people are less likely to judge because their sense of self-worth comes from within, rather than from comparing themselves to others. Here are a few reasons why confident people tend to be less judgmental:

1. Self-Acceptance: Confident individuals have a strong sense of self-acceptance. They recognize their own flaws and strengths, which makes them less likely to project insecurities onto others by being judgmental.
2. Empathy and Understanding: When you're confident, you're more likely to empathize with others rather than criticize. Confident people understand that everyone is on their own journey, which allows them to be more compassionate and accepting of differences.
3. Lack of Comparison: Judgment often stems from comparing oneself to others. Confident people feel secure in who they are, so they don’t need to measure themselves against others to feel validated or superior.
4. Focus on Growth, Not Criticism: Instead of judging others, confident people focus on personal growth and improvement. They understand that everyone has areas to work on, and they view others' challenges as part of the human experience, not as something to criticize.
5. Emotional Security: Confidence is closely tied to emotional security. When people are emotionally secure, they don’t feel threatened by others' successes or failures, making them less inclined to judge harshly.

Discernment involves making thoughtful, careful decisions or observations with clarity and understanding. It's about evaluating situations, people, or information without an emotional or critical charge. Discernment is more neutral, objective, and focused on gaining insight or wisdom.

When a person uses discernment, it often reflects their confidence in several ways:

1. Trust in Their Own Judgment: Confident individuals trust their ability to make thoughtful decisions. By using discernment, they show that they rely on their own insights and wisdom, rather than seeking external validation. This self-trust is a hallmark of confidence.
2. Calm, Objective Thinking: Discernment involves a calm, deliberate approach to evaluating situations without rushing to conclusions. Confident people tend to be less reactive, showing that they are grounded and self-assured. This ability to pause and think reflects a strong sense of inner security.
3. Emotional Balance: People who practice discernment can assess situations without being swayed by emotions or the need to prove themselves. This emotional balance is a sign of confidence, as they’re not driven by insecurity or fear but by clear, reasoned thinking.
4. Willingness to Learn: Discernment often involves being open to gathering more information and learning from experiences before making decisions. Confident people don’t see the need to "know it all" right away. They are comfortable acknowledging what they don’t know and make space for growth.
5. Respect for Boundaries: Confident individuals are skilled at setting healthy boundaries. Using discernment helps them recognize when to engage and when to step back, a trait that shows they are secure in their values and don’t feel the need to please everyone or conform to external pressures.
6. Acceptance of Others’ Perspectives: Discernment allows people to consider other viewpoints without feeling threatened. Confident individuals are more comfortable with diverse perspectives, showing that they are secure in their own beliefs and can navigate differences without feeling the need to criticize or judge.

Confident people tend to operate from a place of understanding, empathy, and security, which reduces the need to judge others.? Discernment reflects a confident person's ability to trust themselves, remain balanced, and approach decisions with thoughtfulness and openness.

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

If you are interested in learning more about how to be more confident in your work and life, contact me!

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