Judgement Day- Every Day!

“Dogs bark, Cats meow & people judge. We have a lifetime of proof that this is true “– Byron Katie

One of my favorite quotes of all time is “I am not who you think I am, you are who you think I am.” I honestly don’t know the original author, or where I first heard it. It takes a minute to ponder the message, but when you do it’s pretty profound. Whenever we judge someone else we reveal a part of ourselves that needs to be healed or addressed.

Triggers are gifts that reveal where we are really judging ourselves and projecting it onto others. Here’s an example in my own life. Every time my Mom brings up money I get squirrely and on edge. She often asks “how much did that cost?” or says “you can’t do that, or afford that – it’s too expensive.” I ask her why she has to put price tag on everything. Then the conversation goes awry. It drives me bananas to the degree that I cut her short and tell her we can no longer discuss money. I got so miffed once, that I asked her how much air costs. After much self-examination, I realized I am the one with the issue. I have been “working” on my money story attempting to change the blueprint of conditioning I inherited, meditate on abundance blah blah blah. I choose to no longer live in a scarcity mindset, but it’s 50+ years of subconscious conditioning to shift. No wonder she triggers me. I am the one that is in need of a shift in perspective. Our parents only know what they learned from their parents, who learned it from their parents. Once you see the pattern, it’s a treasure to discover the work we need to do on ourselves. It’s never about the other person. We want them to change, but really if we change our conditioned responses, the external circumstances change.

Judgement comes from the moment of separation, when we stray from the connectedness, the oneness, the genuine love and compassion we feel for our intrinsic self. When this happens we suddenly feel less than, unworthy or inadequate. This inadequacy then plays out in our behaviors. If we clash with belief systems that we have been taught (me with money for instance) we can feel ostracized, isolated or alone. This then becomes our new pattern of belief. I don’t fit in or believe in scarcity anymore, so there must be something wrong with me. Now we create a whole new pattern of self-judgment. We project our feelings of inadequacy onto others so we don’t have to feel it for ourselves. Then we feel guilty that we judged them, so we judge ourselves for being judgmental - wash, rinse, repeat. It is totally futile, exhausting and nuts!

So how can we take steps to reduce our judgmental tendencies? The first step is to get real. We are judged every single day we exist on the planet. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It’s part of the human experience. It all starts with that awareness. We all have deep subconscious, primal patterns and conditioned responses to specific triggers. Once we see our patterns, we can take steps to shift them. I love Marianne Williamson’s work in “A Course in Miracles.” One exercise she suggests is to decide, “Today, I choose to judge nothing that occurs.” This is a very eye opening exercise. Catch yourself and write down who, and what you are judging. What’s awesome is that creates a more loving energy, towards self and others. The next step is to be responsible for our lives and our circumstances. We are either a victim to life or 100% responsible for our relationship to life. Taking responsibility is powerful. When you realize that you created your life, its super freeing to then see how you can create something new! Next, acknowledge that triggers are an opportunity for growth. When things ping me, it’s a sign to look in the mirror, not place blame on someone or something else. I am not suggesting it’s easy, but man it can be liberating for sure. Lastly, everything in life is an interpretation. My version of the situation may differ from yours based on what I value in life. If yours is counter to mine, that’s ok. I can then choose to engage with you or not. Finally, acceptance of self is the core of all of this work. When we can love ourselves without judgement, it’s a much lighter way of BEing in the world. I hope this has served you as it has for me. After all it’s always an Inside-Project.

“Before you judge me, make sure you are perfect” – Clint Eastwood

About The Author

Lynn McDonnell

Lynn McDonnell here! I am a 30 year Music Industry Executive turned Life Coach and ICBCH certified Hypnotist at the Inside-Project. I converted myself from a corporate control freak to a self-employed spiritual geek. I’m a coach, a hypnotist, a paradigm shapeshifter & agent of change. Helping people transform into the best version of themselves is my jam. I’d be honored to serve you!

Phone: 818-257-0634

Website: LynnMcDonnell.com Email: [email protected]