Judge less and love more in life

Human relations are purely based on love and trust on each other and when one starts judging the other there is obvious bitterness or expectations that cause bitterness always. Judging people is ultimate relationship destroyer. Judging your partner reacts like an earthquake and creates a rift so wide between the two partners, that in most cases it's not reversible and ultimately leads to separation.

A judgment is what we do in our heads consciously, to figure out how to respond to the emotional trigger happening in the moment. A person become judgemental because they can't accept the behavior or attitude of another person, so they impose their standards upon them. A judgemental person will always have a wrong notion that they're always right.

Before you say anything to anyone consider that tomorrow I might repeat the same thing. As people we don't think the same. I might think that what I'm doing is totally fine but on your side it's not. If you always judging, you don't love me because you trying to find faults in everything that I do. To avoid that, or maybe wasting your time with someone who is not good enough for you just for and you will that person who is perfect. As far as I know, no one is perfect.

Why not teach me better life itself is a teacher. Lead me and I will follow. Not make everything about you. The more you judge me, the more I realize that you don't love me. My parents never judged me but taught me. Even you, you should teach me. I'm a good learner. If people have indifference with you that is the opposite of love. I experience that a lot.

People can judge me for say being quiet but they think am a selfish one. When really. I have dealt with a lot of losses in life and I don't open up and share until I get to know someone. But when they judge me before they get to know me and they take that opportunity to get to know me away from themselves because in their opinion from their view I am “x” so why would they want to get to know me and therefore how could they love me?

Actually we as human spoil our most of relations due to judgment. We take less than a second to judge a person even if we don't know him. Yes this is true, you will add poison into your love by judging your partner. If you want to have peaceful relationship. You have to learn to trusting each other. You are judged according to your deeds. Whether somebody loves you or not. You may love someone deeply but may judge them accordingly. Judging or accusing another has nothing to do with someone's capability to love. Either it is inherent in their character or are just plain narcissistic.

Whenever a relationship is one-sided (you love them more or they love you more), there’s usually high level of drama, hurt, and resentment, which are all blockages to true love. I don’t play this confusing game of compare and contrast the different types of love anymore. When you’re keeping score or fall into thinking how to love someone to get the maximum benefit for yourself in turn, it’s no longer love. It’s capitalism. They’re all silly mind games adding to more junk beliefs about love.

Just love from the heart with acceptance and non-judgment. In order to do this you’ll need to have a strong sense of self and healthy self worth. This way, it doesn’t matter who loves who more, you get to enjoy the relationship as it is without fear. In the state of no fear, that’s when real love can arise and be experienced. I have always preferred to be the passionate one, but that leads to imbalance with the other person where, in the worst case scenario, they start to fear that you are manipulating them into loving you back. Why else wouldn’t you rein in your passion and protect yourself?

And have also once experienced being the person who was loved more, and I was unimpressed by the feeling. Yes, I know being loved well is supposed to provoke feelings of gratitude. Now nearly 40 years later, the memory of it does raise feelings of gratitude, but at the time I could only feel constricted, misunderstood, and even a bit used: my thinking was that he loved me for his sake, not for mine.

Moreover, once I experienced reciprocated passionate love whoa! I could see how much better a drug it was than the one-sided stuff. And I found that there is an art to receiving love: to accepting the responsibility of being very important to someone else and being a custodian of the piece of their happiness that resides with you. But if I couldn’t have reciprocated love, then yes, I would rather be the one who felt more instead of the one who felt less.

I can imagine a theoretical exception: if I were with a sweet, patient, romance novel hero who loved me and who sensed that I loved him too but that I was unaware that I loved him. But that experience is not nearly as fun in real life as it is in the books since people are not omniscient, and the super patient ones tend to not have good boundaries around their own needs. It is so true that can be established in any kind of relationship for that matter. Cheers!