Joyless Urgency

And the rigged game that we will lose to every single day...

I was recently stuck in traffic for 2 hours on my way to my aunt's place in Borivali, Mumbai. It was expected; Google Maps had also informed me about the estimated travel time, and the city was also celebrating the beautiful festival of Navratri, which leads to packed roads across Suburbs. In a nutshell, a slow march toward the destination was a given, in spite of which I could see people honking repeatedly, trying their best to make the traffic move faster than it possibly could.?

Just think for a moment: why would someone honk repeatedly??

• Does that make the car ahead drive faster? NO
• Does that change the travel time? NO
• Does that widen the roads? NO

Then why honk repeatedly?

I assume it’s because of the illusion that one lives with constantly:? “I can control the pace at which life happens to me,” or “I can do this to get that done.” It’s this constant attachment to reach somewhere fast that gets people rushing through the present moment, without experiencing the same or letting things be.?

How do you explain people’s diminishing abilities to read a book?

• It feels like wasting time as there is no tangible way to link the milestone that reading that book will get you to.
• It feels like an indulgence you cannot afford because there are so many pressing things to do.
• It feels like a heavy lift because it requires you to be focused on the now, but the mind keeps racing to the next thing on your to-do list, or the distraction that is fighting for your attention.?

How do you explain people rushing through work daily and waiting eagerly for weekends?

• Work feels like an impediment to the life that one gets to live on weekends, it’s the urge to skim through the tedious affairs to reach your hard-earned free time where you could go to the beach, enjoy brunch, shop all day, and indulge in fine dining at the Atlantis.
• Work has become a stepping stone to success, not a journey to be savored.
• Relationships at work have become transactional instead of opportunities to build durable friendships.?

How do you explain people rushing into making investing decisions without any analysis?

• The desire to make it big and to milk the capital markets is so strong, that any work required to go through a careful analysis of the investment opportunity is thrown out of the window.
• The entire focus is on taking action i.e. buying something, or selling something, because you don’t want to miss the bus or be left out.
• As for any time allotted to waiting and thinking? No way, because FOMO is driving your every move while your goals and risk appetite just hope that you listen to them instead.

Envy of others making it big in life also nudges you into increasing your pace towards making more money, which allows for fatal risks to seep into your life, which you ain’t prepared for. Keeping up with the Joneses is another delusion that makes many obsess about the stature in the future that will make them feel proud and happy to have arrived in life, at the top, next to the Joneses.

There is this devil talking to us constantly and making us believe that we too need to live in that 4000 sq. feet villa in the Greens, drive that 7 Series BMW, and take holidays in the Swiss Alps. It makes us feel less for not enjoying the perks that life has to offer, that others we know are enjoying right now, and that we too have the capability to reach there only if we make use of our time to the best possible effect.?

Olivier Burkeman writes in his book Four Thousand Weeks “It turns out that when people make enough money to meet their needs, they just find new things to need and new lifestyles to aspire to; they never quite manage to keep up with the Joneses, because whenever they’re in danger of getting close, they nominate new and better Joneses with whom to try to keep up.”

This thought process has led to us building a relationship with time that is polluted and distorted in so many ways. We start seeing time as a resource to squeeze the most juice out of. This is the beginning of setting implicit time limits on spending time with family, having a meaningful conversation, reading a book, engaging in volunteering work, slowing down to enjoy a sunset or smell a flower, or resting just for the sake of resting.?

None of these have a direct bearing on the life to be created, the life that the devil has made us sink our teeth into, the life without which we are nobodies. Hence these don’t get the time or the attention they deserve. But life is made of so many such moments or opportunities, that you might rush through only because you have committed to reaching a milestone that the devil wants you to.?

Seen from this lens, the now gets sacrificed time and again for the desire to make tomorrow happen, in almost all things or all endeavors.?

Try going for a walk, you might have the urge to make the most of that time by listening to a podcast, finishing that call with the client, or closing a deal. Try having a meaningful conversation with your spouse, and you might have the urge to get to the point quickly. Try to read about a company or an industry, and you might just want someone to tell you what to buy and when to buy.

Your relationship with time may have become so fleeting in nature that you could easily become a bait for anyone promising you the riches and the glory you so desire from your utopian future.?

Friedrich Nietzsche has profoundly stated, “One thinks with the watch in one hand.”

Making the most of your time and your life is a rigged game where you cannot win; because your mind will keep losing the battle between the beautiful seductive future and the ordinary moment in the present right now. The irony is that we have even been brought up with the notion of prioritizing future benefits over current enjoyment.

There was a time for that and it played a role. But we need not become a machine burning all its fuel in a constant chase of pole position or top honors.?

Life is short.

We can slow down.

We can cut the bull shit that has seeped into our lives.

And we can experience joy and beauty in enjoying the moment right now.

• Pray
• Read
• Write
• Meditate
• Converse
• Volunteer
• Participate

There are so many ways to give yourself fully to the present moment. There is bliss in engaging with Now without any agenda to reach anywhere tomorrow. Try to become someone who gives his all to the present moment, the scoreboard will take care of itself.?

That’s what Buddha meant when he said “The root of all suffering is attachment.”

• Detach.
• Let Go.
• Enjoy the now.?

There is lots of happiness and joy in the present moment itself.

Try it and let me know.?