The Joyful Optimist: Unbecoming to Become More You

You know that moment when life taps you on the shoulder and says, "Hey, everything you thought you were? Yeah… let's rethink that." That’s been my past year. And let me tell you, unbecoming is a wild ride.

When I started my blog Unbecoming, I was inspired by this gem from Paulo Coelho:

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so that you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

And boy, has the universe taken me up on that idea.

Grief, Life Pivots & the Unexpected Gift of Reinvention

Losing my mother meant unraveling who I was as her daughter. Just as I started to find my footing, my partner’s mother passed—almost exactly a year later. Grief hit like a two-for-one sale I never signed up for. But amidst the heartbreak, we uncovered an unexpected gift: a chance to redesign our lives. To decide where and how we wanted to live—not someday, but now.

We realized we weren’t just mourning our mothers; we were also waking up to a truth they unintentionally left behind. We had assumed both of them had planned to fully embrace life after retirement, but as we uncovered their lives through photos and stories, we realized that wasn’t entirely true. They had already been living—fully, boldly, and with so much heart. Their joy wasn’t something they postponed; it was woven into their every adventure, every risk, every laugh.

That realization shifted everything for us. Instead of feeling trapped by what we had lost, we felt inspired by how they had lived. We stopped waiting, stopped saying if and started saying when, stopped asking why and started asking how.

So don’t be surprised when you see me in Italy, scouting for our next home—because joy isn’t a destination we’ll reach someday. It’s a path we’re walking now. ?

But the unbecoming didn’t stop there.

Unbecoming the Coach I Thought I Had to Be

For years, I coached ambitious entrepreneurs, ticking all the "right" boxes—find a niche, show up on social media, follow the playbook. And yet, I felt like a square peg in a round hole.

My core values? Authenticity, Curiosity, Generosity, Integrity, and Gratitude. But was I truly living them? Cue existential crisis.

Then, a client dropped this truth bomb: "I just want to feel more joy."

I swear, my whole body lit up. Because SAME. That thought marinated in my brain for months. Then, in December, it turned into a loud, undeniable whisper:

I needed to go all in on JOY.

I mean, my coaching practice is literally called The Joyful Optimist—and yet, I’d been playing it safe. My clients were chasing success but running on fumes. They were missing their most potent fuel: JOY.

The Performance Chart & Mental Fitness: Knowing Your Zone

Ever feel like you're stuck in the Reacting or Burnout Zone, just spinning your wheels? Yeah, same. That’s why I use a Performance Chart in my coaching practice to help people recognize which zone they’re in and shift to a better one (preferably one that doesn’t involve stress-eating an entire pizza).

When you consciously move into the Joyful and Creative Zones, everything changes. You get more done, but without feeling like life is one long to-do list.

5 Ways Joy is the Superpower That Fuels Success

1. Joy in Relationships: When you bring joy, you attract joy. Relationships become more fulfilling. You start looking for what’s working and doubling down on that, rather than obsessing over what’s broken. We’re humans, not robots—perfection isn’t the goal, connection is. Another way I like to frame it is, "Would you rather be right or in love?"
2. Joy in Wellness: Stress is a wellness killer. Joy? It’s like an anti-aging serum for your soul. When you lead with joy, eating well and moving your body stop feeling like punishment. Joy is the highest frequency for humans—when you tap into it, everything shifts.
3. Joy in Performance: Ever notice how your best work happens when you’re actually enjoying yourself? Joy makes you sharper, faster, and more creative. Joy isn’t just something that happens to you—it’s a superpower you can activate to fuel your performance.
4. Joy in Wealth: Money loves a joyful, abundant mindset. Fear-based decisions? Not cute. Joyful ones? They open doors you didn’t even know existed.
5. Joy in Purpose: What if your purpose wasn’t something you found, but something you embodied? Purpose goes beyond what you do—it’s about how you show up in the world and the energy you bring to others. Joy amplifies that energy like nothing else.

The Joy Movement Starts Now

I’m still unbecoming, still learning, and still figuring out how to wake up feeling like a Disney princess instead of a stressed-out extra in a horror movie.

But here’s what I do know: joy is the key. And I’m committed to unlocking it—for myself, for my clients, and for you.

Want in on this joy-fueled journey?

??? Tune into The Joyful Optimist Podcast, where we’ll talk about how to tap into joy, navigate the messy middle, and create a life that feels like you—but with more belly laughs and fewer existential crises. https://www.joyfuloptimist.com/podcast

Listen on Spotify Apple

Let’s make joy the new hustle. You in? ??