The Joyful Irresponsible Use of Meeting Transcripts

Thanks for nothing, Otter.ai

Every time you log into a video conference, you're setting yourself up for a calorie-free diet of corporate jargon and productivity theater.

But unlike a single bout of suffering, these sessions now come with the added perk of perpetuity, thanks to the ever-present meeting transcription services—be it Microsoft Teams, Otter, Fireflies, or another clever tool.

These services are fantastic at capturing every word, summarizing conversations, and listing action items.

But let's be real—they also extend the misery of a dreadful meeting.

Be honest, how psyched are you when that auto-generated transcript gets emailed to you 5-minutes after the (suffering), I mean, MEETING ended?

What if I ran that transcript through ChatGPT???

Nah, that wouldn't be nice.

Not a good use of company time.

Of course, we'd never actually do it. Right...

1. The Comedy of Corporate Personalities

• The Unseen Characters: Spend five minutes in corporate America, and you'll quickly identify the archetypes. There's the Efficiency Driver, who bulldozes through the agenda with the finesse of a wrecking ball. Then, there’s the Meeting Martyr, whose day seems to be measured by the number of Zoom calls they attend. And of course, the Thinkers—those self-proclaimed intellectuals who contribute as much to a meeting as a potted plant, waiting for the perfect moment to drop their 'insightful' bomb.
• Laughing Through It: Meeting transcripts capture it all—the awkward pauses, the overused jargon, the monologues that go nowhere. They turn these moments into unintentional comedy gold. Imagine running a transcript through your favorite AI tool and asking it to identify the Dwight Schrutes and Michael Scotts of your office.

2. Transcripts: The New Corporate Roast

• AI’s Comic Genius: Ever wondered what would happen if you ran your meeting transcript through ChatGPT with a creative prompt?

Try this: “Analyze this transcript and match the participants to characters from 'The Office.'” Watch as the AI picks apart the quiet ones, the intellectuals, the dominators, and yes, the @ssh0les.

• Highlighting the Stars: Ask it to identify who contributed the least, who monopolized the conversation, and who just spoke to hear themselves talk. It's like having your own personal roastmaster dissecting the dynamics of your team meetings.

3. Kids, do not try this at home

Dear ChatGPT, identify which participant is most likely to be 'The Dwight Schrute' of our office, complete with reasons why. Bonus points for including absurd quotes.

Rewrite the entire meeting as if it were a Shakespearean play. Let's see who gets the most dramatic lines and who the AI casts as the fool.

Generate a reality TV show synopsis based on the meeting, complete with episode titles and dramatic cliffhangers for the next meeting. Who's the villain, and who's the unlikely hero?"

Finding Joy in the Mundane

Look, what the heck have you done with half of those auto-generated transcripts anyway?

Maybe have it find the least engaged contributor?

Or find the person that loves to tell you their work history before EVERY point ("you know, when I was a 礼来 launching Zyprexa, we did...")

But seriously, don't do it.

Of course, don't do it.

Well, maybe.

I won't tell.