Is it joy we are really after?

Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness—happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you’re lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.?- Adela Rogers St. Johns

We are led to believe early on in our lives that living happily ever after is an option – something that we can strive for through hard work or in some instances, via luck and chance. But what does living happily ever after mean? And what are we actually striving for? For some, happiness has to do with money or possessions, while for others it’s tied to circumstances and outcomes – scoring tickets to a sold-out concert or winning a sporting event.

How often are we asked in our decision-making process if something brings us happiness, or instructed to do what makes us happy? But what is happiness beyond a smiling face or a burst of energy when something good occurs? Beyond outward expressions, how deep is happiness? And more importantly, should we make critical decisions based on happiness, which tends to shift daily?

Happiness versus joy

Although the words happiness and joy are often used synonymously, they are different. Happiness is tied to our circumstances and is associated with feelings and our senses. It tends to have a light switch effect: if X happens, I am happy, and if X doesn’t happen, I am not. Conversely, joy isn’t tied to circumstances; rather, joy is an attitude of our spirit and it’s a choice we make, regardless of the circumstances that come our way. In this realm, joy has the potential to uplift our lives, whereas happiness is fickle.

Happiness may not be present in darkness and difficulty, while joy is constant and does not bolt when hard times hit. Joy brings peace and contentment into our lives and takes commitment to achieve, whereas happiness is a fair-weather friend we often pursue. While joy appreciates happiness and the boost it brings, joy can co-exist with a range of emotions, to include anger, fear, and sadness. While happiness often brings pleasure, joy is what fills our hearts with a longer-term contentment.

Cultivating joy

So how do we cultivate joy? It takes practice and awareness to shift to a more joyful mindset – and during these times, it’s likely worth it to try. In our quest to achieve joy, we are in no way giving up our quest for happiness. Rather, we’re acknowledging that while happiness may be short lived and reactionary, joy endures for the long haul and may result in long term feelings of inner peace and contentment.

How to get started:

Be present. If we have learned anything from the pandemic, it’s that what was, is over, and what will be, is unknown. Being in the now requires us to let go of our fears and experience our lives as they unfold in each moment.

Look for meaning in the things that you take part in daily. Seek to understand what your job means to you, your family, your friends, the activities you do. Understanding what things mean to you – from the big moments of your life to the small ones – can help you to realize that you play a role in creating your destiny.

Spend a few minutes each day thinking about what you’re grateful about. It may be your family, your pet, your morning coffee, or a walk outside. When you remember the good things in your life, it helps to offset some of the harder things in life.

Carve out time for your passion/s. No matter how hectic your days may be, set aside 20-30 minutes daily to do your thing, whether it’s cooking, sewing, reading, writing, or sports. Making time for your passion often reminds you of your purpose and is energizing.

Work towards a new goal that challenges and interests you. It may be setting up a podcast or running a half marathon or learning to play guitar. You can find joy in working towards a new goal one step at a time, and achieving as you go.

Connect with nature. Getting outside and experiencing nature is a great way to release ?anxiety, take in the world around you, and connect with your surroundings. (Turning off from emails and texts away while you’re in nature helps, too!)

Volunteer. Acts of kindness – whether they are online or in person , big or small – lead to higher levels of psychological wellbeing and positive emotions. It feels good to help others!

Seek out positive people. Joyful people tend to make us laugh more, feel grateful, and remember the amazing things in life, not to mention that they may make us feel excited to be alive. Spend less time with people who drain your energy, and seek out those who energize you.

Laugh. Yes, life is stressful. Yes, there are a lot of hard moments and days. But when you laugh, you reduce stress, boost your immune system, and release endorphins into your body. Laughter is a sure-fire way to cultivate joy.?