The joy

My first job in 2001 was to sell Disney-themed backpacks over summer break at the mall.

I manned a booth and answered parents' questions. I was bad at it. The backpacks were expensive and I felt for parents being guilt-tripped by their kids.

At the end of the summer, the store roughly broke even on my salary.

***

My resume is all glowing accomplishments.

And yet... when I look back, less than 10% of my time resulted in lasting impact at a scale that still matters. Perhaps it's the nature of things. For a venture capitalist, 1-2 successful investments pay for all of the rest. Perhaps I'm holding too high of a bar. Perhaps we hope success lasts longer than it actually does.

***

The work I'm most proud of is about the economics of digital content.

I analyzed why some videos are posted for free on YouTube, while others are screened in expensive movie theaters. It was a huge amount of work.

I looked at the theory.

Analyzed the data.

Developed a model.

And...

... literally no one cared. Zero impact.

Yet to this day I have a surge of pride when I think about that work because it maximized my talents. I realized myself.

***

The corporate world rewards a certain type of productivity with recognition and promotions. Certainly these are important. Resume bullets aren't simply a vanity metric. They say "I was here and I performed and it mattered."

But almost nothing is guaranteed. Success isn't a formula. Wake up at 5am; drink a green juice; meditate; cold shower; recite intentions. We can do these things for years and still miss out.

We choose. And sometimes our choice is a number that's just one digit off from the winning lottery ticket. And there we are: holding a crumpled piece of paper that's worth almost a million dollars and yet it's worth nothing.

The only thing that is guaranteed is that time will pass.

Life is like a side-scroller. You don't always have to sprint, but it also never stops.

***

And this I believe.

At some point we're all called to account for how we've spent our time.

When that happens, I won't call up my resume bullets to justify my choices.

It will be the pleasure of being helpful and dependable; of being kind; of laughing as part of a team.

"See?" I'd say, "I showed up and it mattered."

It will be the analysis of the economics of digital content where I went the extra mile purely for the personal satisfaction of really nailing it.

It will be the joy of striving together, no matter the outcome.