Is Joy Possible?
Ann Van Eron
Founder and CEO of Potentials, Organization Development Consultant, Executive Coach, Open-Minded Conversations Facilitator and Trainer, Best-selling Author, Writer, Speaker
Like many, I've often heard parents express their deepest wish for their children: 'I want her to be happy.' I, too, have harbored this aspiration for myself. My quest for joy has led me down many paths.?I've grappled with stress and a tendency to overbook myself, often questioning if happiness or joy was within my reach.?
Scientists and others often use the terms happiness and joy interchangeably. I find it helpful to differentiate between joy and happiness. When we ask ourselves, “Am I happy?” We go to our heads to assess and often look externally and over the long term. We may consider different areas of our lives to make the determination. Perhaps our job is going well, but our health or relationships are not. We might conclude we are not happy– yet.?We naturally habituate, and it is easy to be on the hedonic treadmill and assume that we will be happy when we achieve the next goal–the satisfying relationship, the next promotion, or the next big purchase, such as a home.?
Research suggests that we are most satisfied or happy when we sense we are making progress toward a goal rather than reaching a mountain peak. When we reach a goal, we generally set another. While we say happiness is our ultimate desire, it is elusive and always out of reach for many of us despite the abundance of advice on happiness. Many of us feel too tired or too busy even to notice happiness. The road to happiness is long and winding.
We don't often ask ourselves, “Am I experiencing joy?” We somatically know joy when we feel it. We experience joy in the present moment when we hear the giggle of a baby, an unexpected rainbow, a word of praise from someone we respect, a connection with someone,?or being of service.?We don't have to think about whether we are experiencing joy. We feel a sense of energy and aliveness in our bodies. A smile, a warm feeling, or a glint in our eye often accompanies joy. Joy is a short-lived emotion. It is enlivening and highlights what is meaningful to us.?We can identify what brings us joy. It highlights what is meaningful.
Joy is natural for us.?Observe young children; they often laugh approximately 300 times a day as they encounter and discover the wonders of life. On the other hand, adults laugh approximately five times a day.?As we grow and adapt to society and those around us, we learn to cover our natural joy. We focus on navigating life and succeeding.
How can we dis-cover joy??The answer is simpler than we might think. Joy is all around us, waiting to be noticed and embraced. It's in the warmth of the sun, a friend's laughter, the beauty of nature, and the thrill of creativity.?By opening ourselves to these moments, we can rediscover our natural capacity for joy and realize that it's always within our reach. This realization can empower us, making us feel capable of finding joy in our daily lives.
I have learned that taking an Open Stance toward myself and being open to my emotional experiences with curiosity allows joy. When we are open, we experience a sense of emotional regulation.
What brings you joy? When we are open and appreciate life, we become aware of many moments of joy. I notice moments of joy when listening to music, talking with a friend, playing with my cat, walking in a park, drawing, and riding a bike. These are all simple activities that I can easily incorporate into my days.
As I began seeking out moments of joy, I discovered they were more abundant than I had realized. Each instance of joy I find opens the door to more, expanding and enriching my life. In these moments, as I savor joy, I feel a profound sense of aliveness, free from the burdens of the past or the worries of the future. This newfound openness and aliveness fills me with hope and optimism for each day's possibilities.
Why is joy essential for us now? There are many challenges before us individually and as a collective. In these times, joy can be a source of comfort and reassurance, a reminder that even amid difficulties, there are moments of light and beauty to be found.
Emotions are contagious. When we are open and experiencing joy, it naturally spreads to others. We all know the difference between being around someone negative or down and someone joyful. We can positively influence others to be open and to see possibilities through our openness and joy.
In addition to enhancing relationships, joy is good for our immune systems since it reduces cortisol, inflammation, and blood pressure and improves our health. There is scientific evidence that joy assuages depression, fear, and anxiety and supports mental and psychological wellbeing. For instance, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that experiencing joy can lead to a more positive outlook on life and better mental health. Joy also enhances creativity and innovation, which we need to address issues these days.
With intention, awareness, and choice in the present moment, we can expand our sense of aliveness, flow, and joy and reap the benefits. Ongoing practices such as checking in with ourselves and noticing our mood and moments of joy support us in opening to joy. When we catch our reactions and take an Open Stance, we are attuned to what is happening within and around us and can choose to be responsive rather than reactive. Because joy is not dependent on external circumstances but is internally generated, it can sustain us.
Even amid challenges, we can navigate life more easily and experience JOYBeing–the joy of being alive. JOYBeing is a state of being where we are fully present and open to the joy that life offers. It's about appreciating the beauty around us, the kindness of others, and the simple pleasures of life. Joy can co-exist with other emotions, even in challenging times. For example, even amid sorrow or pain, we can experience joy in moments of kindness and beauty.
This sense of joy of being alive can expand to a sense of inner ease and connection with life. When we experience JOYBeing, life has more meaning, and we experience greater wellbeing. Our peripheral vision expands to notice even more moments of joy, and we are resilient and positioned to make a difference with our presence. It's a way for us to contribute and enjoy life.
I am grateful for experiencing joy. I believe we can take an Open Stance toward ourselves, others, and our experiences and be open to JOYBeing.
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Open Stance Circles
We warmly invite you to experience an Open Stance Circle gathering where participants share how they choose to be open and notice when they are closed. Here is a link to learn more to join our mailing list and receive invitations for the Zoom-based gatherings here .
During this time of polarization, we can benefit from adopting an Open Stance to engage in positive and productive conversations. I plan to offer a short course for those who want to facilitate Open Stance Circles. In it, you will learn more about the Open Stance postures and the CREATE peer coaching process. If you have not already, kindly let me know if you are interested in joining. The course will be offered in September.
With an Open Stance and JOYBeieng,
Ann Van Eron, Ph.D., MCC
As a global executive coach and organization development consultant with Potentials, I coach leaders, teams, coaches, and changemakers with practical processes and tips to:
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President & Chief Editor, PMR Communications Group
3 个月Another in the ongoing dialogue about taking a more positive approach to life. VP Harris frequently radiates joy and this could be her secret weapon against her opponent.