The Joy of Missing Out

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It’s time we started to admit the truth. Not all opportunities are equal. Success and happiness are about quality, not quantity. 

This is especially true now, when so many events have been cancelled because of COVID-19. You might feel pressured to attend every virtual networking event you find.

And this goes for social obligations, too. It’s hard not to feel disappointed that we can’t spend time with friends and family or do other summer traditions, and there’s pressure to have endless Zoom calls. 

But you can give yourself permission to say no! In fact, you should. 

It’ll feel a lot easier once you let go of FOMO (the fear of missing out) and embrace JOMO: the joy of missing out. This is something I talk about a lot in my book, Listful Living: A List-Making Journey to a Less Stressed You.

JOMO has key principles that are all about disconnecting from technology, opting out and having a more minimalist approach to life.

Before I knew what it was called, I adopted JOMO back when my appendix burst from overworking myself.

I started only taking on projects I knew would be useful and only attending a few key events a year. I not only had more time for myself, but I also had the luxury of being able to take more time with my tasks. I had more concentration and significantly less stress.

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Lots of days are “sofa days” right now so we can stay safe from the coronavirus — and the result is that lots of people are feeling FOMO. This is an opportunity to reframe that feeling in a way that will be helpful even after things return to normal. 

So how can you join in on the JOMO revolution? Here’s a list!

Make “just enough” lists.

I rave about these all the time, but honestly it’s had a huge improvement on my productivity. I learned this idea from my friend and colleague Heidi Hanna who I interviewed in my book Listful Thinking: Using Lists to be More Productive, Highly Successful and Less Stressed.

Rather than drowning in task after task, I cherry pick the few things I absolutely have to do to have a successful day. The idea is to ask myself, “what would be ‘just enough’ if I did so that my clients would be happy and I’d meet my deadlines for the day?” It gives me a chance to think about my priorities. I make my to do lists work for me, not the other way around.

Be grateful.

Everyone likes to focus on what they’re missing out on, instead of what they’re gaining in return. We’re all missing out on a lot right now because of COVID-19. It’s okay to be sad about the changes we’re experiencing and the things we aren’t getting to do. But being grateful for what you do have can change your mindset.

For example, lots of people are starting to think about what’s really important to them and learning how to make more time for their priorities. That’s one thing to be grateful for in this situation.  

Set boundaries.

JOMO isn’t about missing out on things for the sake of it and it doesn’t mean abstaining altogether. Restrict yourself to a certain number of commitments per week or create a strict deadline for logging off from work. As I teach in my LinkedIn Learning course, when you’re working from home, this is especially important. Don’t feel like you need to work all hours just because you can. That will be harmful to your productivity in the long run and it’s just not worth it.

Socializing and networking virtually can be very taxing. You’re not imagining it — Zoom fatigue is real! So don’t burn yourself out by saying yes to everything. 

It can be harder to say no Zoom parties with family and friends, but if you feel overwhelmed by your virtual social calendar, try texting people and telling them you’d love to catch up on the phone or try out a video messaging app like Marco Polo.

It’s all about finding ways to maintain connections while making time for self-care.

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