The joy of being you ... imperfect!

2022 brought respite from the pandemic and promised return to normalcy. Yet, the unfortunate events of Eastern Europe and the after effects of the pandemic took a toll on businesses and people who drive them. Such has been the impact that mental health became one of the most discussed topics this year. The WHO recognises Oct 10th as World Mental Health Day, the UK observes May 9-15th 2022? as mental health week. The USA will observe the entire month of May 2023 as Mental Health Month. The topic deserves immense importance for its impact on human capital. One cannot fail to notice a barrage of arguments, articles and podcasts on the situation but I pondered on the onus on the individuals, the ultimate unit of our society responsible for the actions behind all the positives and the negatives, which accumulate into the events of global proportions. The pressure of expectations, assessments, and judgments a human mind goes through will make any intelligent machine slow down to untangle its algorithm.?

For some of us a 5 minute power nap is enough to rewire, while others are forced to take a long break or even quit. Between the two extremes, there are events one can play effectively; long weekends, break between jobs, summer holidays, Christmas? …. but we mostly tend to action pack the events. A recent article on HBR recommends setting (loose) goals for the time off, aiming for something which gives you a sense of accomplishment and happiness while resting and relaxing. I consider myself very fortunate to use this entire autumn to unwind, reflect and recharge in a meaningful way. There’s been plenty of mini projects to hand, from planting apple and fig espaliers, to helping friends in their startup businesses.?

As the corporate world slows down for the winter break with shorter days and gut warming drinks in living rooms infused with cinnamon, pine, and orange scents, there is something wonderful to slow down to, the smell of books. I chose to pick a few, randomly but with a definite purpose, a purpose to rest, refresh, and re-energise with simplest means available. The title picture has the catalogue. The message in each will serve as a nice reminder and melt your thoughts, to let go and flow with the season, as our heart and minds need that to rest.?

Here are some of the picks from each; in no way is this a complete summary of the book, but let me serve some starters … each with an aim to say it’s ok with what you are, what you have achieved and more importantly, that it’s perfectly fine to live with imperfections.?It's not a glitch, it's a feature.

“Your current rules of success and failure have been written by the world … (it suits them) .. rewrite them. For yourselves. … success is a relationship you have with your own self”?

“We are all born with the innate ability to ask questions. We are curious by design. Our environment conditions us to believe that asking questions is wrong … It’s more than okay to ask even if others would think it is dumb”?

These are a few quotes from Ankur Warikoo’s ‘Do Epic Shit’. The simplicity of the book will invite you to read it again and again. It’s a reminder of how life happens to all of us, in a similar but unequal fashion.?

Something simple got me in Daniel Kahneman’s ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’. “Some aspects of life have more effect on the evolution of one’s life than on the experience of living. Educational attainment is an example”. Come to think of it, how we pushed ourselves, and might be pushing our children for this attainment.?

And, he continues, “Beyond the satisfaction level of income, you can buy more pleasurable experiences, but you will lose some of your ability to enjoy the less expensive ones”.?

Now that’s something to take the lid off the pressure cooker.?

We do not listen to understand but to respond. We all read what Stephen Covey mentioned as the biggest communication problem. Kathryn Mannix conveys it in her book ‘Listen’ via several stories. Here’s one to stoke your curiosity: “Often in a time of trouble, we assist most by being alongside someone without ‘helping’, and so supporting them to be architects of their own solutions. It can be hard to do, as every parent knows. Accompanying instead of taking over involves accepting risk, tolerating our own anxiety and resisting our impulse to ‘fix’ things. We are giving the power to the other person. It is an act of wisdom, of courage, and even of love”.

Giving away the power provides mystical satisfaction.?

And then a memoir caught my attention at an airport book stall. I couldn't help picking it up for it’s title ‘A Country Called Childhood’ by one of the most admired Indian actors Deepti Naval. She recreates her childhood via stories, quoting “I don't nurture them, they nurture me”. If you find the title magical, you certainly would want to give it a go.?

Last but not the least, 2022 has also been a big year for sports. I won't talk much about football, heroes are humans and so are the referees. Imagine the pressure of 50,000+ spectators, 22 players, 30+ bench and 2 fabled footballers as the Managers. I would rather mention a game which has given me lot of bruises, sprains, and solace. Cricket. ‘Test Match Special’ by Dan Waddell will keep you engaged with page turning quotes. A gaffe to quote, “Closest sport in America is baseball. But cricket lasts five days. We break every now and then for food. And we spend a lot of time rubbing our balls in our trousers”, Andrew Flintoff tries gamely to explain cricket to Jennifer Lopez in 2013.?

There’s more to read in each. I will certainly be turning the pages on all of these for the rest of this year. I wish you positive well being, happy holidays and blissful reading!