The Joy of Being Crap at Something
As a recovered perfectionist, I have stumbled across the joy of being utterly imperfect at something. I want to share that joy and inspire you to find your own 'crap' hobby to escape into.
Following a somewhat dramatic injury from the relentless pursuit of pushing my body, stupidly self-selecting to run an 'ultra' marathon, instead of just a 'normal' marathon (eye roll). In the aftermath of that 84km journey, I herniated two spinal discs and fractured a vertebra. It left me navigating the world in increments of pain-filled short walks, restless nights sleeping on the floor and the inability to hold my newborn without support.
In the most challenging moments and during times of lost hope; to give me focus, I decided to set myself a goal that was ambitiously... mediocre. I decided to learn how to surf.... 'crapily'.
Now, to provide a little context, my life up until the point of my spinal soirée had been a series of high-achieving milestones, punctuated by a relentless pursuit of perfection and a grindset of continuing pushing myself to improve my family life, my own and society in general. My mind, an overactive participant in this circus, barely ever took a break. But in the vast, unpredictable ocean, I found a playground large enough to contain my ambition to simply... be crap at something, and have the utmost joy in that fact.
The thing about surfing, especially when you approach it with the grace of a newborn giraffe as I do, is that it's a masterclass in humility. Every wipeout, every face full of salt water, every failed attempt to catch a wave is a reminder that it's perfectly okay to be spectacularly crap at something. And therein lies the liberation.
Unlike the high-stakes world of being a parent, social entrepreneur, leader, and other life ambitions, where pressure cooks ambition on a slow simmer, surfing is my haven from the tyranny of internal and external pressures.
This newfound acceptance of mediocrity has not only been a balm for my overachieving soul but has also served as a bridge. A bridge that connected me with my neighbour during the solitude of lockdowns, transforming hours-long drives to the coast into missions of comradery and shared anticipation of the last-minute sunset surf. He, playing the role of a zen master to my enthusiastic padawan, coached me through the rites of passage until I finally rode my first green wave.
领英推荐
We once shared our surf session with thousands of jellyfish while we were swept half a mile along the coast at Westward Ho, walking back along the coastal golf course with our boards between our legs. On another occasion at Rhossili Bay in Wales, I was convinced I had seen a shark, when moments later a local seal decided to catch a wave with us.
Oh, and what a feeling that is! To stand on a surf board, carving a path on the wave's face, tasting a freedom so pure, it feels like flying. Those moments, ephemeral yet eternal in memory, are addictive.
A feeling unfettered by the need for achievement or recognition, a pure, unadulterated joy that comes from doing something solely for the pleasure it brings. An act my children demonstrate on a daily basis.
The joy of being crap at something is not just about embracing mediocrity. It's about finding a space where the pressure of perfection dissipates into the ocean breeze, where the mind finds quiet in the rhythm of the waves, and where failure is just another step towards a moment of sheer bliss. It's a reminder that in the grand scheme of things, it's okay to not have all the answers, to not be the best, and to simply enjoy the ride, however bumpy it might be.
So, here's to being gloriously, wonderfully, liberatingly crap at something. Because sometimes, that's exactly where you need to be to find what truly matters.
I would love to hear about your happy 'crap' place and where you find moments of joy and freedom away from daily stressors and pressures? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
Associate Trainer at The Training Exchange
10 个月I just want to say that I loved reading this. The style, the vocabulary, the profound life lessons. Currently, particularly crap at serving in badminton! #findingthejoy #wanttogetbetter Joining a group as a newbie, on my own, and not having picked up a racquet since 2008 has been a good reminder to me of what we ask of others when they join groups/workshops etc. Thanks for this share.
Software Engineer at NatWest Group
11 个月Currently for me this is sound design, playing with synthesisers and drum machines. I'm pretty 'crap' at it but enjoy the time spent in that space, it's a source of creativity and relaxation. It's commendable to invest time in something that brings you joy, regardless of skill level.
Global Learning Partner at Computershare
11 个月Amazing read Blué O'Connor. Your writing style and humour is amazing, but subject resonates massively with me too. I grew up in a household where nobody tried because then nobody failed. And if you didn’t succeed at something immediately, you were the butt of a lifelong joke. I still get reminded of these ‘failures’ every time I see certain family members and I just internally sigh and think “really? We’re still making fun of the 6 year old who got something wrong?” For me this now presents itself in a few ways: ‘If I’m not going to be perfect at it immediately, why bother trying?’ And ‘I didn’t get that right first time so why bother doing it again?’ I am also on a bit of a journey to challenge that and be ok with not always getting things right. I recently started clay pigeon shooting. I’m ok at it. I still miss a lot. I’m still learning all the variables. As a group, we still laugh and joke about the ones we miss, but everyone misses and everyone is ok with that. I’m getting better at doing a task and looking for something other than the mistakes and imperfections. But it’s hard when it runs so deep. Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
Brand Strategy Director at Halo (Cert B Corps)
11 个月I've been thinking about learning to surf 'crappily'. I too am a recovered perfectionist. I find living my life by the tenets of wabi-sabi helps me – Nothing's finished. Nothing's complete. Nothing's perfect.