The Journey... Is Your Destination
I've been polite the past 30 years or so, as one career article, business magazine, and well-meaning guru speaker after another tells us how to reach our goals.
No, that's not completely accurate. In truth, I've fallen for this nonsense numerous times. Being naturally results-oriented, I'm a sucker for anything that offers a happy ending.
But every now and then, as the fog clears temporarily around my head, I recognize that goals are fleeting. What you want as a teenager isn't what you want at 40, and what you want at 70 isn't what you want at 30.
What matters most is how you act - and feel - day after average day.
Anyone can feel joy upon getting promoted or winning a race. But do you feel joy because it's 6 a.m. and you are starting another day?
Do you feel gratitude because you get to commute one hour on a heated train that is pretty much on time all the time?
Is your heart filled with awe when you walk into a huge metal tube and it FLIES into the sky and lands precisely where you wanted it to land?
When you provide food and shelter for your family, does it make you proud?
When you solve a problem, does it give you satisfaction?
Do you watch for opportunities to help others, or to simply cheer someone up?
It's not about where you're going; it's about how you go about each day.
If you are focused only on the outcome - getting to a party on time, doing better than your classmates, sitting next to your boss at a meeting - then every day becomes stressful.
But if you focus on how you carry yourself and how you treat others, then every day provides you with many chances to succeed.
Here's the thing that I keep forgetting...
If you realize that the journey itself is your destination, then all the good things you want still happen anyway.
Treating people with decency and respect ultimately works in your favor. So does living each day with gratitude, and being less attached to specific outcomes.
There's nothing I've told you today that you didn't already know. But we are surrounded by aspirational noise that pushes us to be transaction oriented: get that promotion, get that client, get that raise, get that new car, get credit, get praise, get ahead.
Relationships matter. People matter. Decency and civil discourse matter. Specific transactions? Not so much.
When your alarm goes off tomorrow, I hope you smile.
Bruce Kasanoff writes and edits content for a wide range of entrepreneurs and executives.
IT Service Management Specialist | Change, Major Incident, Service Request & Catalog Management
8 年wow, great article. You rightly said this not something unique you are telling but being mindful everytime in this long journey i find hard. How can we keep remind ourself?
Public Sector Administrator
8 年Great ideas to keep in mind, Bruce, when looking for a sense of purpose in one's life.
Branch Manager at Watco Companies LLC
8 年Like Bruce, I am results/rewards based or motivated. There is a goal to obtain!! Let's get it! Interesting enough reaching the goal of happiness is better achieved by NOT focusing on it!.. it's much like when you're driving on the freeway in a hurry-- everyone is in your way-- why? on the day you need a clear road, there are cars and people blocking every move we attempt to get where we need to go (the goal) and because our focus is on the goal, everything and everyone impeding our efforts must be "in our way" Have they changed their habits? Are these drivers really attempting to block us? Any other day, these "idiots" don't bother us in the least. Likewise, chasing happiness is illusive until you stop.. much like dating... heh heh!
Cosmetics Professional
8 年REGARDLESS WHAT ANYONE SAYS, I KNOW IT NEVER TOOK PLACE. LET'S ASSUME "MAYOR DE BLASIO", MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, ALLOWED "CHARCOAL BLACK DIANNE" A/K/A "BARACK OBAMA", INTO MY HOME IN THE YEAR 1989, OR, BETTER YET, LET US ASSUME THAT PERHAPS "DIANNE" ENTERED MY HOME IN THE YEAR 1991, IS IT REALLY RELEVANT? THERE IS NO RELEVANCE IN THE ISSUE, BECAUSE WHOMEVER ALLOWED HER IN, WHETHER "HECTOR" A/K/A "MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO", OR THE PERSON PLAYING THE ROLE OF THE 6'2" OR 6'3" FEET TALL "JEFF McILWAIN, SENIOR", IN THE YEAR 1991, "DIANNE" SUSTAINED A PRIVATE MEETING WITH ME, NOT NOW AND NOT EVER. IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED. WHEN SOMETHING IS FICTION, AS "ROBERT MUELLER", FORMER FBI DIRECTOR, NORMALLY SAID TO ME, "..IT HAS TO WALK!!.." IT IS UNTRUE. IT IS REALLY IRRELEVANT, WHETHER SHE ENTERED MY HOME IN THE YEAR 1989, OR SHE ENTERED IN THE YEAR 1991, I WAS NOT HOME!! PERIOD. END OF THAT ARGUMENT. MOREOVER, IF YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE, THEN KILL ALL. DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE. WHY "KILL" MAYOR BILL DE BLASIO", MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, WHEN HE WAS ONLY A VERY SMALL PART OF THAT PUZZLE. WAS HE A WILLING PARTICIPANT? ONLY THE GOD IN HEAVEN CAN ANSWER THAT. BUT LET'S BE SERIOUS, AND LET'S BE HONEST, WHAT "CHARCOAL BLACK DIANNE" DID WAS 100% WRONG. "..DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU.." I HAVE OBSERVED THE PATTERN OF CONDUCT OF "CHARCOAL BLACK DIANNE", AND IT IS SOMETING SIMILAR TO THIS:"...DIANNE IS GARBAGE, DIANNE SELLS, DIANNE BUYS, AND DIANNE IS BAD AND SHE IS TOUGH...AS A MATTER OF FACT, SHE IS PURE GARBAGE.." IN CONCLUSION TO THIS MATTER, HERE ARE MY SENTIMENTS: I DO NOT CARE TO HEAR WHO ORDERED "CHARCOAL BLACK DIANNE" TO "..SELL A HUMAN BEING..", BUT I TELL YOU THIS, AND I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THESE WORDS OF WISDOM, TODAY, IN ORDER FOR ALL TO REFLECT ON THEM:"...YOU SHOW ME A MAN, OR A WOMAN FOR THAT MATTER, WHO WILL BE WILLING, READY, AND ABLE TO "..SELL A HUMAN BEING..", AND I WILL SHOW YOU A MAN OR WOMAN UNFIT TO LEAD A NATION..." TWO (2) WRONGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT. IF "MAYOR DE BLASIO", MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, HAD ACCESS TO MY HOUSE KEYS AND ALLOWED "CHARCOAL BLACK DIANNE" INTO MY HOME TO TOUCH OTHER WOMEN INSIDE MY PLACE OF RESIDENCY WHILE I WAS ABSENT FROM IT, WHEN SHE MET ME, IN THE YEAR 2010, AT THE BERGEN COUNTY SHELTER OF THE CITY OF HACKENSACK, STATE OF NEW JERSEY 07601, SHE KNEW I WAS 100% INNOCENT AND SHE KNEW WE HAD NEVER MET IN THE PAST, AND WE HAD NEVER INTERACTED IN ANY INAPPROPRIATE MANNER, THEREFORE, WHY DID SHE REFUSE TO CLEAR MY NAME, KNOWING I WAS 100% INNOCENT, AND KNOWING SHE HAD ENTERED MY HOME, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE, WITHOUT MY CONSENT, AT A TIME I WAS ABSENT FROM IT? IN MY BOOK, "CHARCOAL BLACK DIANNE" IS PURE TRASH. I GET NO ARGUMENT FROM NEW YORK CITY, I AM SURE. MAYRA GUANTE - DE LA CRUZ, NATIONAL SECURITY Advisor Three