Journey to the Women’s World Cup: Reflections of a Traveling, Working Mom

We did something we never imagined we’d do! We planned an entire vacation around the Women’s World Cup and travelled to France to watch the U.S. women play against Chile (a 3-0 victory) and Sweden (a 2-0 victory). Our youngest daughter, a 15-year old soccer aficionado, accompanied us. It was her first time in Europe and both my husband and my first experience in France. 

To say it was the trip of a lifetime, is an understatement. Imagine our surprise as we exited the first game against Chile elated by our dominating victory, only to be interviewed by a filmmaker for a Parisian documentary on feminism! He wanted to know if I believed soccer could be a catalyst for equality for women across the world.

How ironic that of the thousands of people exiting the stadium that evening (there were a record-setting 45,000+ attendees) whom he chose to randomly pick, that he would choose me, a Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer! Given the U.S. women’s recent lawsuit against the USA soccer federation for equal pay, coupled with the “Me Too” and “Times Up” movements in the U.S., as well as the gender parity movements abroad on corporate boards, my answer to that question was a resounding yes! 

He asked my daughter how seeing the women play impacted her. She relayed how she had been playing soccer her whole life and how the women inspired her to want to walk in their footsteps. She, too, wants to be a professional soccer player and seeing her favorite players, was a dream come true for her.

In addition to traveling to watch the women play, this trip also provided us with many experiences and life lessons that our daughter was able to witness firsthand instead of hearing about it later. First, it showed us time and again that you just don’t know what you’re made of and how resilient you are until you are stripped of modern conveniences and have to make it in a foreign city where you don’t speak the language and have to depend on the kindness of strangers. 

You quickly learn how to pick out folks who may speak a little English and are willing to help you navigate a frustrating or difficult situation. Of course, this means you have to swallow your pride and be willing to ask for help which we often did. Sometimes folks willingly see your frustration and jump in to help. You just want to hug them for dear life when that happens.

Learning how to navigate the metro system and travel like true Parisians was the cheapest and quickest way to get around. Of course, it wasn’t without trial and error. We overspent on a day-long pass trying to maneuver the ticket machine in French until we realized that there was a knob to turn the language to English and either purchasing tickets in a booklet of ten or a single one-way pass was the way to go. Our daughter had never navigated any metro or subway system so it was fun to see her adapt to a new mode of transportation too. 

We also learned that sometimes you have to roll with the punches, spend the money and tell yourself to just enjoy the experience. On our last day and night in Le Havre (a small city about two and a half hours from Paris), there was no Uber or Lyft operating in the city (imagine that!), our hotel was an hour away, we had six hours between when we arrived and game time, and the cheapest route to get there was a bus which only ran three times daily. There was not a single rental car in the whole city available so we were gouged by a taxi driver and forced to pay almost double the normal fare in cash. You know you are living right when you happen to have the exact amount you need in cash and no more! 

We took in some sightseeing in between the game in Deauville, a beautiful city located near Normandy beach where the Allied Forces of Britain. America, Canada and France attacked German forces some 75 years ago with a huge force of over 150,000 soldiers which marked the turning point for World War II in Europe. When you visit the beach and see just how expansive the shoreline is, you can’t help but wonder how it could have been protected from invasion in the first place.

We had hoped to eat a little something before the hour-long trip back to Le Havre for the game, but quickly realized that we missed the window of time to eat. Our daughter could not understand why there were no fast food options available, and not a single restaurant was open until 7 p.m. for dinner which was after the time we needed to leave. So, a few snacks (water, granola bars and peanuts) I had packed had to suffice. We laughed when we saw a few other American families out walking around hopelessly looking for places to eat too.

After sharing a taxi with two young women from Denver, we were buoyed by the exuberant atmosphere once we arrived at the stadium in Le Havre. Both Swedes and Americans were decked out in their team’s national colors, faces painted, and patriotic scarves billowing. There were long lines to purchase food and even longer lines to purchase more fan gear. When we arrived at our seats, we were pleasantly surprised to find American flags waiting for us and seats near one of the goals. We happily picked up our flags, began snapping photos, and excitedly talking to a couple from California who had brought their young son and daughter to watch the games. The mom spoke of traveling an hour each way to take her daughter to soccer practice with a premiere club, and trying to find a spot on the academy team for her. It was an experience we knew all too well. 

Exiting the game was a nightmare. The police were not letting taxi drivers park in the place our driver told us to meet him. We walked for over an hour (until midnight) desperately trying to find him and believing we would get stuck in a city an hour from our hotel when we needed to turn around and be back at the train station for a 6:30 a.m. train back to Paris. He spoke no English so getting him on the phone was useless. When we finally implored a kind Parisian to translate for us, he threatened to leave us if we weren’t at the meeting spot in 5 minutes! We scrambled and made it which was a huge relief because the taxi line was a mile long. The city’s infrastructure just wasn’t built to handle the influx of 20,000+ folks! I’m sure those folks who hadn’t thought to pre-arrange a taxi didn’t get home until well after 2:00 a.m. and probably ended up walking.

We shared our taxi back to Deauville with an older Swedish gentleman and his three daughters whom he had brought to the game. He coached at least one of his daughters and asked us lots of questions about everything from our favorite soccer players to Trump’s stance on immigration. He was jovial and pleasant even though they had waited almost an hour for us and even though his team had lost. We were simply amazed by his kindness. 

I have never walked as much as I did in Paris. There is simply no better way to experience everything the city has to offer. We visited the Eiffel Tower (during the day and at night in its sparkling glory), the Arc de Triomphe, the Louvre, the Basilica de Sacre Coeur, the Montmartre neighborhood which once housed Picasso and Renoir, and took a scenic river tour of the Seine. I found myself constantly praying and thanking God for being able-bodied enough to navigate the thousands of stairs and the endlessly long boulevards even with aching feet. I worried about how the terrain challenged differently-abled folks. 

One of my favorite things to do was people watching. I love how Parisians dress (such effortless style!), especially the leather low-heeled booties the women wore that seemed to come in all shapes and colors. My husband and I marveled at how even in the sweltering heat and hot metro stations, folks kept their scarves, leather jackets, and suit jackets in tact. Meanwhile, we were disrobing to stay cool.

I was grateful to catch up with my law school friend Patrick Banks and do an abbreviated tour of Parisian African culture and arts using the new Little Africa City Guide. It was inspiring to see so many French-speaking blacks running businesses, shopping in open air markets, and going about their daily life. It was a side of Paris most folks don’t get to see. I would highly recommend the tour if you are ever in Paris! It was also eye-opening to hear about navigating daily life as an ex-pat living in Paris. Patrick, and his wife Daphne, both fellow Tulane Law grads, cracked us up discussing some of the cultural and structural challenges, especially as African-American professionals. 

I spent an afternoon at Ogletree’s Paris office where I presented to our associates on the firm’s many professional development opportunities available to them. My work colleagues lamented about the Paris weather and shared with me that most Parisians dream of living in Los ángeles because of the beaches, the weather, the palm trees, and Hollywood! Apparently, the week before we arrived it had been cold, rainy and winter-like. We had 80-85 degree, sunny weather almost the entire trip. So it was a bit hard for me to swallow Parisians wanting to trade their beautiful, historical city for what just might be our least historical U.S. city.

Many times we marveled at just how different our city (Kansas City) was from Paris and its European way of life. The drivers on mopeds darting in and out of traffic with cars giving them leeway to do so just wouldn’t happen in KC without many accidents. Catching a train between cities where no bellman checks your ticket the entire time wouldn’t happen either. On the return train trip back to Paris from Le Havre, we jumped on the 5:30 a.m. train (instead of the 6:30 one for which we had tickets). Our tickets were simply scanned and it was not an issue. We were anxious to get back as our flight for Iceland left at 2:00 p.m. that same day.

We were struck by the natural beauty of Iceland and wished that we had stayed longer than our six hour layover on the way to Paris to take in the geysers, do a little whale watching, go puffin watching, and visit the hot springs. Next time we will do so. We managed to tour downtown and get a bite to eat at a beautiful local cafe. Iceland is not cheap: a breakfast of ham and cheese crepe sandwiches for three was over $50! 

We flew IcelandAir and enjoyed it for the most part. Flights were very reasonably priced though there was a surcharge for luggage and food had to be purchased as well. We knew ahead of time so we packed a ton of snacks. The only complaint I have is that they appeared to be under-staffed. Unlike in America, where you can check in hours before a flight, they didn’t start checking anyone in until two hours before the flight. The line in Paris was horrific, and we all feared we’d be left behind only to make it through security and then experience a two hour delay!  

Upon arrival, while in customs, several of our fellow KC passengers, including me, had our baggage damaged when the sole baggage handler literally threw (not tossed!) our baggage from the plane into the truck. Many folks started video-taping him, and we had to file claims at the airport. I’m sure he was disgusted that he had to unload an entire plane by himself until he got some help near the end. But he still had no right to treat our baggage that way. It was disheartening to say the least. 

In spite of these snafus, the trip was well worth it! Paris is a grand place with so much to see and do. It will require at least two more visits to truly take it all in in a meaningful way. Not to mention that I would have loved to shop more, but that wasn’t what this trip was about. 

To witness how inspired our youngest daughter was to watch the American women footballers play at the top of their game was PRICELESS. I could just see her imagining herself on the pitch, making those passes, pressing forward, angling for the best shot. It was fun to listen to her commentary as they played. To be able to provide her with this kind of once-in-a-lifetime experience is the stuff of parental dreams. It’s what my parents would have loved to have done but they just didn’t have the resources or wherewithal to even plan such a trip. 

The trip also provided us with ample opportunities to point out to our daughter how privileged she is. Many days because of our crazy schedule we found ourselves eating only once or twice (and our athletic daughter is a stickler for three square meals daily). When she complained, we had to remind her that in some parts of the world, folks are blessed to even find one full meal daily. We all fell in love with French bread and pastries too, of course.

The trip also led to several discussions about egocentrism and ethnocentricity. I cautioned her to use the word “different” instead of “crazy or weird” on several occasions. She even became our translator too; she was deft at utilizing an app on her phone to help us quickly translate our needs to Parisians who spoke little to no English. She had used the same app a couple of weeks before on her mission trip to Peru with her high school when she found her Spanish did not suffice. 

Here’s what I know for sure. Travel is simply a must. Save your pennies. See the world. Get outside of your bubble. Experience how others live, communicate with each other, solve problems, work, and innovate. Travel makes me appreciate my life, family, friends and career. It helps me to see that all across the world we have much more in common than our differences. We may certainly approach things differently, but at the end of the day, we all just want to live the very best lives we can while trying to make our mark on this world. So get to it and share your next journey with us!