Journey to Value

Finding value in our own self is one of those journeys that everyone will have or has had to embark on. Each journey is as individual as the person who is traversing the metaphoric road to value and self-esteem. The road is hardly linear nor is it a “one-and-done” kind of trip. It is full of round-a-bouts, forks in the road, dead ends, steep hills, and treacherous terrain. And before you even ask, no; GPS doesn’t apply in this metaphor. Instead you must rely on tools far more primitive, some of which include: intuition, experience, positive words of encouragement, patience, preservation, and survival equipment in your arsenal (raincoat, a warm blanket, flares, a compass, and anything else one might take on an outdoorsy excursion).

On the occasions when you reach your destination and find a healthy dose of self- value waiting for you like a pot of gold, make sure you congratulate yourself as it was no easy feat! Through the tears, frustrations, and even the feelings of helplessness, you know finding this confident YOU was worth it. Revel in it for some time, enjoy your accomplishment, your assurance, and your establishment. This is an optimal version of you - the version that puts your best foot forward.

As stated earlier, the road to self-value is not a “one-and-done” kind of trip. Life has a way of getting you off-kilter and, before you know it, you are on the road once more, singing Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again,” trying to rediscover your self-value to get back to the version of YOU that you like best. Only this time, for giggles, your journey calls for some fog and a category 5 hurricane. And now, with these unanticipated obstacles, the destination seems practically impossible. The big thing to consider though is that you’ve been there before, and have a general idea as to how to get back. You are better equipped this time around.

Perhaps, the next time your world gets all topsy-turvy and you inevitably find yourself back on the road again, your battle cry might be Destiny’s Child’s “I’m a Survivor” or Pat Benatar’s “Hit me with your Best Shot!” You’ll belt it out for preservation and attempt to quiet the negative thoughts that are constantly causing self-doubt and fear. Either way, there is strength behind that mindset. We find ourselves in a constant battle to establish, maintain, and rebuild our own sense of self-worth in both our personal and professional lives.

In a world where there is more visibility than ever before, we easily subject ourselves to the opinions of countless others while simultaneously comparing ourselves to the facades of the outside world. We struggle to become that Superhuman, who seemingly gives 100% at home, at work, at all times; and still is somehow ‘always there’ for everyone else. Inevitably, we fail. Then we feel like we aren’t meeting basic expectations, then we are back to feeling inadequate. We currently put too much emphasis on outside factors which in turn makes our self-value more turbulent.

At home, we want to feel valued and appreciated. At work, we want to feel impactful and respected. At home, there are always some unspoken expectations that we are measured up against; and at work, expectations are measured and recorded through numbers and dollars. Regardless of which arena we feel we are lacking in, our self-value cannot solely come from these societal measures. YOU are more than a breadwinner, a caregiver, a best friend, or an employee. You are the accumulation of experiences, strengths, weaknesses, quirks, skills, hopes, desires, needs and more. YOU are how you feel about yourself.

We’ve all heard the query, “what do you bring to the table?” It’s not by any means a rhetorical question, it’s a question that begs an answer. Let’s consider that you walk over to said table empty-handed with nothing but lint in your pockets. Sure, you technically brought no tangible object with you, but you did not NOT bring anything of value. You must consider YOURSELF as the value; you bring YOU to the table. You are an accumulation of all everything that you’ve been through, and everything you can become. To your family, you might be everything or even nothing. To your employers, you are intrinsically human capital. But to truly be of VALUE to anyone, you must see the value in yourself. Each metaphorical journey to self-value and self-esteem renders another trait, skill, or accomplishment that adds to the arsenal of your valuable self. Now what’s more marketable than that?