The Journey to True Self-Confidence: From Insecurity to Authenticity

When I was a kid, true self-confidence felt unattainable. I often felt insecure about myself, and instead of addressing those insecurities, I decided to create a persona - an avatar - that I could project to the world. I crafted a version of myself that I could control, a version I believed others would admire.

I changed how I walked, how I talked, and how I carried myself. I read books on psychology and influence, learning how to say the right things at the right time. I practiced endlessly, shaping a character I could step into whenever I needed to feel confident. And for a while, it worked. I embraced the phrase, “Fake it till you make it,” and it became my mantra.

But as time went on, I realised something profound: I wasn’t confident in me. I was confident in the character I’d created. This version of confidence was built on avoiding my insecurities rather than embracing them. I was running from the parts of myself I didn’t like, hiding them behind this carefully constructed fa?ade. And while it worked for a time, I could not keep it up...

I began to question: What do I do with the parts of myself I don’t feel confident about? The answer was clear but uncomfortable: I needed to embrace them. True confidence doesn’t come from hiding your flaws but from owning them. It’s about looking at who you are, as you are, and choosing to love every part of yourself - even the parts that feel messy, imperfect, or “not good enough.”

Over time, I’ve learned that self-confidence isn’t an endpoint; it’s a journey. It’s not about achieving some perfect state but about embracing who you are and carrying yourself authentically. It’s about owning the version of you that shows up when no one is watching - your natural, unfiltered self.

And here’s the magic: when you align self-confidence with authenticity, it creates freedom. The freedom to show up as you are, to stop people-pleasing, and to live without holding back. Authenticity, confidence, and freedom aren’t separate concepts; they feed into one another. The more confident you feel in your authenticity, the freer you’ll be. And the more free you feel to be yourself, the more confident you’ll become. It’s a powerful cycle.

For me, this journey has also shaped my coaching practice. I now guide people to develop self-confidence, freedom, and authenticity because I’ve seen firsthand how transformative these pillars can be. When you feel confident, it changes everything - your relationships, your health, your career, and even your finances. Confidence isn’t just an internal shift; it impacts how you show up in every area of life.

That’s why I’ve created a personally tailored coaching program to help others navigate this journey of self-confidence. It’s designed to guide you from wherever you are now to a place where you feel fully confident expressing your authentic self. The sessions will serve as tools to help you break free from self-doubt, embrace your worth, and live with a sense of freedom you may not have thought possible.

The journey to self-confidence is personal, and it’s not always easy. But when you’re willing to look within, to embrace all parts of yourself, and to align your confidence with your true nature, the results are life-changing. Authentic self-confidence is not about perfection; it’s about self-acceptance. And that’s the kind of confidence that lasts a lifetime.

Send me a personal message and I will offer you the first session of this program for only $2,50. As a result of us spending 2 hours together, you will walk away feeling more confident and you will have a step by step plan to start expressing yourself more authentically.

I look forward to talking soon!

Mick Rutjes