Journey towards smoke free life

Hi all, I hope you all are having a beautiful day and have a wonderful weekend! In my last article I talked about having quit smoking, I promised to let you all know how I felt when I quit cold turkey!

So here goes..............................................................................................................

Disclaimer: This was how I did it! You, yes you who has still not made up their mind to quit, may find that some other method works for you! This article is a bit long but please read to the end!

Before I actually quit, I did my homework and prepared myself! I studied the information available in the public health space and made notes on what to expect. I learnt that when one smokes, tiny receptors get placed in our nervous system and these receptors play havoc with your mind to keep you smoking. I did not want to use any replacement therapy and wanted to quit cold turkey! The only thing I took care of was to keep stock of dried ginger strips to place in my mouth when I felt the urge to put a fag between my lips! I looked at blogs of ex-smokers to learn what they experienced. I then informed all family members, friends, colleagues et all that I was going to quit. I also educated them on how my behavior might change. One good thing was that the more people I informed of this, the more I strengthened my resolve to quit!

ONE CAN NEVER SMOKE ONE OR TWO A DAY AND BELIEVE THEY CAN QUIT. YOUR MIND IS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU!

On the designated day, I quit.

Day 0: I remember that the first day was deceptively easy. By evening, I thought what happened to the receptors? I did feel the urge, to tell you the truth, but I avoided lighting up by not being alone. I went and sat with family. (In an aside, I did not smoke in front of my family). That night was bad. Now those little devil receptors in my brain decided to start pinching me when I was the most vulnerable. I had to ask my grandma to sleep in my room with me. I, of course couldn't sleep. I felt as if all my nerve ends were screaming and giving themselves shock treatment. I lay curled up in a ball all night long fighting with the need to have just that one puff. Kudos to my grandma who stayed awake with me to make sure I did not weaken and give into the urge!

Day 1,2&3 and onward for the first 3 weeks: The first 3 days and 3 weeks were tough. (In an aside: Being the person that I am I had a carton of Marlboro in my drawer when I quit!) I had the temptation, the nudges/pokes from the devil receptors in my brain to slip the cancer stick between my lips and light up and dirty withdrawal symptoms. I started feeling numbness in my extremities, I was coughing, my heartbeat got erratic, I was feeling flushed. I felt as if I was getting a heart attack! And all this while those evil receptors in my brain kept telling me - "Feeling shitty, ain't you? Have a puff, all this will go away. You will feel normal and we can get on with finishing that Marlboro carton! Go on girl, just one puff." I went to the living room and sat with my grandma who was offering her prayers. I too took up the Ramayana and started reading. Got my mind to calm down for a bit.

I noticed that I needed to keep my fingers busy and keep on munching on something to keep my mouth busy! I started moving a Tulsi bead mala (rosary) through my fingers while chanting mantras. To keep my mouth busy, I used the dried ginger pieces, lozenges, chewing gum, anything but a Fag. I always surrounded myself with family/ other non-smokers/ friends who had my best interest at heart. When going to work, I asked my Dad to drop me so that I was not alone and would not be even a little bit tempted. Of course Dad came to pick me up as well! I changed my route, avoiding the local paan/ cigarette shops. At work, I had informed my colleagues about quitting so most of them made sure that I did not go alone on breaks and that they were available for me when the withdrawal symptoms hit me hard. To those colleagues, I will always be thankful. Then there were others (smokers themselves) who were working in tandem with the devil receptors and said- " Don't worry Purva. Just have one puff from my fag and you will feel better. Its not like you are buying your own fag!" Some said, " Oh no Purva, look you are getting fat, here have a fag, at least you will have a nice slim body"

Now because of the munchies I was consuming and lots of chocolate (of course! For women chocolate can be orgasmic) I started ballooning. I was afraid to start exercising at this point as I was in a weak state and could give in to the receptors at any cost. I ignored all the devils' playmates and spent more time only with non-smokers and family. My social circle changed completely. I avoided any smokers even within the extended family!

I stopped consuming tea, coffee, alcohol, anything that triggered the need to light up. Trust me, these 3 weeks the receptors in my brain went crazy and hammered my head to take just one pufffff.....................It felt like a superhuman effort to keep them at bay. I could make it happen only because of my Mum, Grandma and Dad's unrelenting support through all this.

Week 4: Now as I was entering into the 4th week, a tragedy hit our family. It as a work day and I was dropped off to work by my Dad, mum and brother* (* My brother was based at another city for work but had come home for a break). After they dropped me off and made sure I went straight into the office, they drove off. They were whispering about some surprise(for me as a reward for quitting!) and I was looking forward to it in the evening. At the office, we kept our cellphones in lockers and were able to check them only during breaks. I avoided taking breaks to avoid temptation and it was around 5 hours after I started work that I saw many missed calls from Dad and my brother. I immediately called back but got no response from either. Mum's phone was also not reachable. I kept trying for 20 minutes hoping to know what my surprise was. Eventually Dad was able to pick up the call and asked me if I could leave office. I jokingly told him, "Why? Can't my surprise wait to see me?". He said, "Please come to the S hospital as mum had met with an accident". I was frozen in place on hearing this. I told him I'll be there asap. Went back and told my manager I was leaving as mum was in hospital and I had no further info. I was doing all this in shock but guess what the devil receptor did not raise its head. One of my colleagues offered to drop me and I accepted.

On reaching the hospital, I found that mum's accident was very serious. We almost lost her that day. She was hit by a car traveling at high speed, was thrown into air and impacted into the rear end of a parked mini tempo. Most of the right side of her body was bruised, cut and bones were broken. Her right ear was almost split into two and there was trauma to her head. She was covered in blood. Her left side was impacted a bit less but still it was pretty bad too. When I reached there mum was in the operation theater undergoing plastic surgery to save her ear. When she was brought to the recovery room, she was groggy but she saw me and immediately asked if Dad and my brother were safe. I think she was unaware of how badly she was hurt. She had to be kept hospitalized for a week under observation. I volunteered to stay with her nights.

I digressed a bit from telling my journey to quit but, believe it or not, I was glad that I had quit smoking when I did otherwise I would have smoked myself silly. Also, as I did not need to take smoke breaks I was able to devote all the time in looking after mum. I do believe that this incident and the following 2-3 months helped me in staying free from Cigarettes. I still had withdrawal symptoms but I did not have the time to care much as I was caring for my mother. Even now it is so difficult to re-live that time but the light at the end of the tunnel is that I haven't lit up since!

6- 12 Months: With mum's physio and other care more than 6 months passed and after that time I was able to shush the receptors down pretty good. At this time the trigger was passive smoke, or rather that sweet smell of baccy. This was okay as I could avoid going near anybody smoking or stay away from places where people used to smoke. I did not need to deliberately stay near family anymore cos I was on duty to take care of mum.

Beyond 12 months and up to 3 years: I was smoke free for 1 year, yippee! After 1 year the receptor devils stopped calling out, maybe they died. I was now unable to stand the (sweet! huh) smell of lit tobacco. I would start gagging and feeling dizzy. That is when I knew that I had conquered the habit and the road was less rocky ahead. During the pre-quitting research I had learned that the receptors can stay dormant for up to 3 years and they only need one slip from you to claim you back. Thus, I was vigilant and took all the necessary precautions to avoid the temptation to lurk upon me unknown.

4th year up to this minute: I am in the safe zone now. Now I am irritated if I smell baccy or even weed smell in the vicinity but that's about it.

Since last year,i.e., my 5th year smoke free, I decided to help my friends to quit smoking and I hope I was able to make a difference. This year I am sharing my story on LinkedIn so that more people can take advantage to quit smoking.

I will share how my life has improved after I quit in the next article. This one has run a bit long but its worth it!